"You're the doctor and his best friend, can't you do something?" Anna looked around the small house that had always been tidy at the dirty dishes, piles of laundry and empty bottles. All except the room with the closed door.
"I've tried," Andy told her, "He works until he's exhausted, then drinks until he passes out: it's been eighteen months since she left, I can't get through to him. He misses her and blames himself for her leaving. Ned said he was the same when Brett's aunt died." He watched his friend snore pitifully, "He won't even come to poker night anymore. You're her friend, can't you talk sense into her?"
"If you two are going to talk like I can't hear you, go away." Brett growled coming out of his room.
"She be ashamed of you." Anna told him.
"She abandoned me," Brett told her angrily glaring at his two best friends.
"Not Maisey: your aunt."
That seemed to have the desired effect for a moment as he surveyed the house. "She'd understand." Disgusted Anna stomped out. "She's right though," Brett ran fingers through his hair, with a sigh, "They both would be."
"So what are you going to do about it?" Andy asked.
"There's not much I can do: one's dead and one's gone."
Andy grit his teeth, "I thought you loved her?" Brett glared at him. "Punch me if it makes you feel better," Andy stood his ground, "This is pathetic and if she did come to her senses and come back, you're not really giving her a reason to stay."
Brett glared, "Go doctor my cows, I don't need you in my head."
"No, you need a shower and to clean up this mess." Brett glared at Andy as the doctor walked away.
Brett shoved his feet into his work boots, and slammed out of the house. Eighteen months. He growled and moved to the barn: he didn't want think about her anymore. The construction was nearly done on all the new buildings, the herd had doubled, West Ridge was flourishing: Tony, Travis and Bandit had worked hard to make sure that all of the breeding programs and training programs were on track. The Bogs were coming into the new century. Brett was proud of the work he had done and all that had been accomplished in a little over a year. If he wished Maisey were there to see it he wouldn't admit it to anyone least of all himself.
Travis had new statistics to show him: he dragged fingers through too long hair and scratched his stubbled chin--it might be time for a shave. He moved through the barns patting the horses' on the nose or rubbing an ear as he passed. He inhaled the scent of horses and tooled leather, hay and soap--they were calming, reminding him of the first time he walked through the barns with Ned.
He'd been a troubled kid after his mom was gone: he'd hated everything. It was a long time ago but he remembered it like it was yesterday. Ned had taken him through the long barns and introduced him to every horse, encouraging him to greet and offer treats to each one. He hadn't at first, had held back and then gone back later when Ned had been in the field. He had unlatched the gate for the first stall and tried to feed the horse a carrot, the horse had knocked him over and run away. He'd been so scared that Ned would beat him that he'd hid away in the hayloft the rest of the night. The horse had been found, lame from breaking its leg in two places after stepping in a hole and tangled in a fence. Ned had cried when the vet had come to see the animal put down--they'd found a spike of wood stuck into the horse's lung. Brett remembered that Ned had never raised his voice, his uncle had told him that accidents happened and it wasn't his fault.
It had been a weird feeling, he remembered, being told the animal's death had not been his fault considering he'd opened the gate. Ned had always been like that. Calm and never accusing. Teaching without being obvious.
"Are you listening boss?"
Brett snapped his eyes to the computer screen. "Sorry Travis." Brett dragged his attention back to the details Travis was explaining. It looked like they were set up well for breeding over the summer and if everything went well they would have a lot of new calves come the spring. He clapped his foreman on the shoulder and thanked him for all his work before getting on a quad and riding the line.
He found a spot that was loose and climbed off the quad to inspect it to make sure no animals had escaped and tightened the wire. Even that menial task brought back memories of riding the line with Maisey. He kicked the tire of the quad and moved on to the next section of fence. He wondered if he could get past Jason into Slim's, but he doubted it, and he just didn't really want to drive all the way to Medicine Hat to get a drink. He wondered if he'd ever get over her.
He moved down the line, finding other spots to fix. By dusk he was sweaty and tired. Travis found him fighting with a tangled fence that must have been degrading for sometime. His foreman didn't speak for a time, just helped fix the section of the fence.
"Fire me if you want Brett, but you need to get your head on straight." Travis's voice was even like he was talking to a frightened horse.
Brett straightened and looked at his foreman in surprise. Travis had been one person who had stayed out of his head.
"This afternoon you authorized me to breed half the herd with Devonshaw's Golden Angel and to shoot a third of the calves for meat. Doc told me you were distracted but this is out of hand. You're an adult behaving like this is the first time you came here to the ranch. She's either waiting for you, or she's not coming back boss. Sulking and drinking until you can't think is killing the ranch."
Brett sputtered and Travis interrupted him, "stop talking and listen. Tiger and Bandit don't even share their plans with you anymore: last time they did you slugged your own cousin. Bandit is thinking about leaving. We've lost 4 others this month because you don't care about anything--the contractors haven't been to work in a month because you stopped paying the bills. Your power got disconnected at the house today and we only kept the lights on in the barns because the technician is my third cousin." Travis glared, "Your uncle is considering coming out of retirement."
Brett sat down hard, and swore, "I don't know how to get her out of my head."
"You can't," the foreman told him, "but you've got to force her into the back so you can focus or you've got to let someone else run the place, you're going to ruin it if this keeps up."
"You ever lost someone?" Brett asked absently.
"She left with my daughter two years before you turned up here," Travis admitted, surprising Brett. I was so focused on wanting a perfect housewife I forgot she was a woman with needs and my daughter needed a father. I worked hard and played hard but she gave me an ultimatum and I didn't hear her. I went out for round up one year and she was gone when I came back. I tried to get her back, but she was done. She took my child and left." He stared out over the range, absently, "my letters all got returned, she blocked my number. I don't even know where they are anymore."
Silence drew between the men, "Ned fired me that year." He leaned on the fence post. "The haybarn burned to the ground because I got falldown drunk and dropped my cigarette when I passed out." Brett inhaled sharply. "thank God the first harvest was still sitting in the fields, but I was never the same. I quit drinking and smoking, I had to stop thinking about my failures and missing them and do my job. The Crown charged me with reckless endangerment, Ned let me work off my debt and I've been his foreman almost since that day."
Travis turned to leave, "She made your heart whole, and now she's gone. You've got to keep moving forward with what you've got left and be ready to show her what you've done since she left...or at least that's what I keep hoping." Brett watched his foreman walk away and then laid back and watched the stars coming out.
Brett made a call while he laid there. "Addie," he said into the phone, "I need your help and I'll pay double."