He wondered if he'd be able to sleep without being haunted if he wasn't in the house they shared. He packed and left Travis in charge, Tony was waiting for him at the truck.
"Worried I will make a fool of myself?" Brett growled.
"You've already done that," Tony grinned, "I want to go to the Stampede grounds and dance and watch the bulls after discussing feed prices and ranching politics." Brett grinned at his cousin, "Besides, someone needs to represent West Ridge."
"Is it really stampede week?" Brett swore, "I guess that explains why it was so hard to get a hotel. We're lucky Terri-Lee likes you and was able to find us a bed--even if it means you're sharing hers." Tony muttered something under his breath and climbed into the truck. "What did you say?"
Tony glared, "Staying with Terri-Lee was the only guarantee I had you wouldn't drink yourself into oblivion and miss everything."
Brett remained silent as he considered everything he'd overheard and Travis' intervention. They were all right, he knew, but knowing didn't help him with his regrets or with missing her. He hadn't lied that weekend in Waterton--a half life with her was better than a half life without her. He'd tried finding someone new, but he couldn't bring anyone home to her house, to their bed, and he always found an excuse not to go home with anyone else. He worked all the time, even when his body screamed at him to stop. The cattleman's had given him a way to grow his operation: he'd thought he had done that, throwing himself into project after project but he realized now he'd been drunk most of it.
Slim's had banned him twice early on. He'd gone looking for fights and found them. Jason hadn't been happy and didn't hesitate to toss him out. Tony let him brood, they'd staged the conversations deliberately time and again hoping something would snap him out of his misery. He had refused to go after her or call her. She'd left him a letter and he wouldn't let them read it but they could imagine it's contents. Eighteen months of beating himself up was enough.
The lights of the city came into view, "I need food and a bed," Brett moaned, "please tell me we're not expected to do anything tonight?"
Tony winced, "Terri-Lee has people over until 9ish, some meeting of the minds with a client. She said we can come in but it might be best not to until the client is gone so we can go find food, there's a great place a few blocks away, or we can find a pub."
Brett wouldn't allow himself to wonder if the client was Maisey, "No pubs, I don't want to turn up on her doorstep drunk."
------
"Alright, so that will be tomorrow's plan then," Terri-Lee stood up, gathering documents from the table, "my guests have meetings at 9, I'll meet you at 930, we'll go over to the store together, do interviews for an hour and then head downtown for stampede, you'll bail when you've had enough crowds. I'll connect with my company for dinner and maybe see if you're up for dessert later."
Maisey yawned, nodded and waved as she called Henry to heel and they went out the door to the elevator, "Thanks Terri-Lee, I don't know how I would done any of this without you." The elevator door closed just as she heard the whoosh of the second elevator opening. She was grateful not to get dragged into another blind date with Terri-Lee and her friends trying to encourage her to live.
She knew now that what she was doing was hiding out. She had thrown herself into writing and finding herself--but she had realized in writing this third book that she had run scared and she didn't know how to fix it. She touched a picture frame near where she set her keys: it was a rare one of her and Brett, she touched his face tenderly in the photo. Her apartment had remained mostly unfurnished: a bed, a table, a couch and a TV. Not for lack of encouragement: Terri-Lee had pushed but she had known a long time ago this was not her forever home, she just didn't know what to do next.
She flopped on the couch but Henry whined at the door. She sighed and got back up, grabbing his leash and a jacket. The dog led her down the two flights of stairs back to Terri-Lee's door and sniffing the floor sat staring at it. Maisey regarded her dog oddly and putting the leash on tried pulling Henry away toward the elevator: he wouldn't budge.
She sat in the window ledge waiting for him to be bored, but he would look from her to the door and whine. Finally she didn't know what else to do and knocked on the door before opening it. Henry rushed past her, almost knocking her over as the voices in the room stopped her dead.
"Henry!" Tony's voice was unmistakably thrilled to see the dog. It was the other man's "what the hell," that froze her in place. Terri-Lee rushed to the door, "I didn't expect you back." The lawyer apologized, "I don't want this to be awkward."
Maisey didn't know what to do, she stepped backward toward the door, and yet she felt herself wanting to move around the corner. Brett didn't wait, he came around the corner, a mix of relief, sorrow and shock in his eyes. They just stood there, staring at each other.
He searched her face and unconsciously moved toward her, she noted the shadows in his eyes, "you've been working too hard," she said softly, searching his face.
"I've had nothing else worth doing," he told her. Part of him was screaming to pull her into his arms, but another part was afraid she was just a wraith. "Are you really here?" he whispered.
She nodded, "I live upstairs. Henry must have known it was you in the other elevator when we left, he dragged me back downstairs as soon as I closed the door." Their eyes were locked, "I'm sorry for intruding."
"Don't leave," her whispered, "I can't breath without you." He took her hand, "there's so much I'm sorry for but I don't know that I could watch you walk out that door and not follow you."
She searched his face, "you should hate me." she told him, "Henry will stay with Tony if you want to come upstairs and talk."
"It's late," he told her.
"My couch pulls out into a bed." she wanted to touch his face, but refrained, "or we can do this tomorrow after your meetings."
He shook his head and started to back up, but Tony was already there with Brett's suitcase, pushing him out the door. They climbed the stairs silently.
The door closed and latched but they just stared at each other. "I'm sorry," she told him, "I..." he covered her mouth with his, like a man dying he breathed her in and she felt herself lift into the air. He walked further into the room until she could sit on the kitchen counter, he held her face and wiped unbidden tears from her eyes.
"I am sorry, I shouldn't have done that." he told her, not moving away even though he felt like he should, "But I'm empty without you."
She pushed her face into his neck, "I've regretted leaving for so long but I was afraid you'd hate me."
"We've both been fools." Brett pulled her eyes to his, "I should have come after you." He pressed his head to hers, "I thought I'd lost you forever and you've been here this whole time."
"My heart never left, " she admitted, "only my body did."
"What are you saying?" he asked, "I need to hear the words."
"I can't," she shook her head, even though she wanted to, "please don't hate me."
"Never," he whispered, "I couldn't." They stood together not speaking for long moments. Each wanting to speak but not knowing how or what to say.
They put on a movie and fell asleep watching it, snuggled with each other on the bed. The bed was empty when Brett awoke, he'd wanted to wake up with her in his arms but the apartment was empty: "Henry needed his run," a note on the counter said, "will I see you after your meetings?" There was a key. "if you've changed your mind leave the key with Terri-Lee, if you haven't I'll be back around 4."
Finding Maisey had been the last thing he'd expected when they'd arrived in town and here she was giving him an out. He glanced at the clock and swore. He dressed and rushed downstairs to meet up with Tony so they could leave, he'd figure things out with Maisey later.