3:35 AM. I lock the door. I think I want to get some sleep. It's dark, but I can see something moving on the floor. I slam my hand on the switch. The room becomes bright and I scream.
The midget crawling on the floor is dressed in a green coat with frills, red breeches, and high brown boots. He has a large pointed nose, red cheeks and wrinkles, and a white braided long beard that is nearly reaching his ankle. His eyes are round and orange like the pigeons. "Y-Y-You, why did you become this ugly thing? You were cuter as the cat."
I can't believe it. I have been wondering why I didn't see the cat since I woke up.
Then, I look at the person who just broke my door into pieces. He's looking at the weird old man on the floor with wide eyes. If he can see it, he shouldn't be real either. I spent seven years believing that my mother was alive and beside me.
"I was wondering why I didn't see you all day," I tell the devil on the floor. He must have changed his form to surprise me. I glance at the doctor. "Doctor Sanguine, you can also see him. Does it mean that you are not real either?"
The doctor frowns at me. "I don't see anything there."
I look down. The short ugly thing is gone. I am not surprised at all. It must be one of the devil's tricks. Then, the doctor is real or not?
"Aren't you going to ask me to come inside?" The doctor grins at me.
"You are already inside." The broken pieces of the door are lying on the ground. "Have a seat."
As he walks toward the couch, I notice that his shadow is wiggling abnormally. I see a black hand coming out of his shadow before it's pulled back by the shadow itself.
Did I watch horror movies recently? Even if I see hallucinations a lot, this is a little strange.
"Nell, I am sorry about your door."
I look at Eli. Even in winter, his forehead has a layer of sweat. My house doesn't have any heater. Was he running? "Why are you here and why did you break it?"
He bites his lower lip. His fingers are curled inward. His shoulders are tensed. "You didn't take your prescription note with you. Since we live in the same area, I thought I should drop by and give it to you. Then, I heard your scream. I was afraid that something happened to you. So, I…"
He touches his ear and peers at me with guilt in his eyes.
How to tell a believable lie? You should try mixing some truth with some lies. If the parts of truth and lies are blended well and you know how to control your expressions, you can easily manipulate the person in front of you.
I don't care why this doctor is lying. The envelope that Mr Emerson gave me before he died is still lying on the table in front of us. I take a peek inside the envelope before giving it to him. "I know that it's not enough. Please accept it as a partial payment. I will deduct the money for the new door and return the pay the rest later."
That's my two months salaries in the envelope. Mr Emerson must have felt bad for me. Accepting Mr Emerson kindness is easier than accepting this person's kindness. I don't know him well and I don't trust what I am seeing.
Also, I nearly died after seeing the bill at the hospital. As one of the best doctors in his field, his charges are damn high. He could have thrown me in the general ward instead of keeping me in the special ward that costs half of my yearly salary just for spending half a day in there.
"I don't need it." He pushes it back in my hand. "If you truly want to pay back, I told you that you should hand over your body to me."
He sounds a little offended.
I was a little flustered at the hospital when he said those things to me. Back at the place where I have tried to kill myself several times, I feel my emotions growing numb. "I will never let anyone else own me."
"Own you? You are misunderstanding me again, Nell. I won't do anything strange." He blushes a little and waves his hand. "I will only take care of you until you are well and sound."
Why is he blushing? What did he think about? I release my breath. Eli Sanguine is quite transparent. His thoughts are easy to guess. "Doctor, do you know the price of my life?"
"Price of your life…," He mumbled thoughtfully. He narrows his eyes a little. He smiles at me warmly. It's different from the smile that I have seen on someone else once. It's something I don't like remembering even if it's a part of my past.
If you love someone, you usually give them a special key called trust.
"The entire world…?" He asks me. Before I could say anything, he frowns at me. "That's not enough. Maybe the entire universe…but even that is not enough…What should it be?"
"You think too highly of me." It's nearly four of the morning. I am talking to a stranger alone in my house. I don't do this. However, he came to my house unannounced twice and he did save my life. I have good reasons for being lenient toward him. "Doctor Sanguine, I see and hear things that are not real. Broken objects like me are thrown in the garbage. I don't think that garbage costs much."
His eyes become soft. A light smile appears on his lips. He doesn't seem surprised. Ah! He already knows it. I wonder when he noticed it. Was it at the bookstore? Then, is it a pity? Sometimes, people mistake pity for something else.
"Sometimes, people can't distinguish between an invaluable treasure and garbage." He reaches for my cheek. I tilt my body to the right and avoid his hand. He retracts his hand. He doesn't seem angry or sad. He chuckles and adds, "My heart is stolen by a woman who smiles when she's reading a book."
"Are you talking about me?" I stare at him. "If you are, you are also admitting that you watched me like a creep at the bookstore."
"I am guilty of that." He winks at me. "In return, you can watch me as long as you like. I don't mind."
I don't understand this man. Sometimes, he's blushing like a 16-year-old boy. At other times, he is flirting like an experienced man. Which one is real Eli Sanguine?
Why should I care?
"Nell, are you hungry? It's almost breakfast time." He suddenly gets up and heads toward the kitchen.
I follow him. "Why are you moving around like it's your house?"
"Your house is quite spacious." He opens the refrigerator. He picks up the eggs. "The rent is really high for cheap apartments that don't even allow the sunlight inside. You have many rooms here. It's closer to the hospital too."
What is he enunciating?
The egg shatters in his hand, soaking his fingers with egg whites. The egg yolk slips through his fingers onto the pan. He smiles at me apologetically and tries to break the second one which meets the same fate. I grab his hand before he could pick up the next one. "Don't bother."
"You can't do it with your injured wrist." He furrows his brows. "I am not usually bad at making human-- I mean, cooking. Let me try one more time, Nell. I am really good."
"I am right-handed." I used to believe that too. But it seems that he's been buying recipe books for the show. Just reading recipe books isn't enough. I put another pan on the burner. After cracking the eggs with my right hand, I reach for the spoon with my left hand.
I freeze when I feel him standing behind me. He grabs the spoon hanging on the wall. "Isn't it difficult to do it with one hand only? Use my left hand. It's available only for you."
Annoyed, I turn around to face him. My nose brush against his chest. I regret it. His cheeks are red again. He is always blushing like a shy girl, but his actions are anything but shy.
I am not affected by this man. For me, he's not a man or a woman. From now on, he is an asexual person. "Do you show this level of concern for all of your patients?"
"No, only for you," He replies with a straight face.
I shouldn't even bother asking these questions. "You are a man. I am a woman. Don't stand too close."
"Sorry." He looks down, puckering his lips. "I like your scent a lot. It's hard to stay away."
"..." Can't he keep his thoughts to himself?
"The omelette is burning." He pushes me away and turns off the gas. He flips the omelette and sighs. "It's burned. It can't be eaten."
I am usually patient toward people, but he's getting on my nerves now. He wants me to feel something using these tactics. He's living in a dreamland. I pour the water in the pan and hears the hissing sound. I bolt out of the kitchen. He chases me. "Nell, are you mad at me? I am sorry about the burned omelette. But I know a place that makes delicious omelettes."
"I am not angry." Why should I be angry at him? I take his hand and put the envelope. "Please take the money and leave. I will come to visit you at the hospital later today. I will pay for the rest of the money. Let's part on good terms. I hope you find a good woman you deserve in the future."
He blinks his eyes. "I won't accept the money."
I hold back from yelling at him. It's been a while since I met someone as frustrating as him. "I won't hand over myself to you."
"That's fine." His eyes twinkle in excitement. "Let me stay here in exchange."
"No way!" I shout. "You want to stay here because you want to get close to me."
"How do you know?" He blinks his eyes. "That's one of the reasons. I know that you like women. It will take some time, but I will get the sex-change surgery. Until then, I will dress like a woman. I can assure you that I will be a pretty woman."
I give up. I can't deal with this person.