"Let's get my laptop and get out of here. We'll go to your place to finish the presentation. I don't feel comfortable at my place right now."
"To boldly proclaim that you're going to a woman's place, did your desire to procreate grow to such an extent when you were confronted with your ex's close call with death?"
"It hasn't."
"Then, you can't go to my place."
"What? Why not?"
"If you say you want to procreate I might reconsider."
"You're messing with me again, right?"
"Am I messing with you?"
"What if I was scared by the thought of an unexpected near-death situation happening to me like what happened to Adele? Mr. Genovese, did you ever consider a woman's desire to leave behind offspring may increase in such a situation? Shouldn't you be jumping for joy when presented with an opportunity of a lifetime like this?"
"..."
"Well? Mr. Genovese? Do you want to or not? Or do you lack the guts to do it?"
"I certainly lack the guts." Especially when I'm randomly seeing Adele clinging to me. I'd like for you to not raise death flags casually for me at every given opportunity; please, and thank you.
"Well, that's about the answer I expected from you. Coward."
"I'd rather not wake up one day to find one of my exes holding your head in their hands."
"Well isn't that nice of you? You really don't have to worry about that though. I'm not a pushover after all."
A mysterious smile hung on her face, it was one filled with overwhelming confidence that I couldn't understand.
"How can you be so fearless without a single care in the world?"
"Do I look fearless to you?"
"Yeah."
"That's incorrect, Mr. Genovese. There are things that even I fear in this world."
"Like what?"
"Like being widowed and dying after the man I've fallen in love with."
"That's a surprisingly normal fear. Are there any others?"
"Are you probing for my weaknesses right now?"
"Yeah, I am."
"Well, at least you're honest about it, I suppose."
"I've told you about my greatest fear before, right?"
"Yeah, your bland general response was really boring."
"Then can't you tell me yours? It's only fair, right?"
"Hmm. I don't know. Is it fair? You chose to blab without thinking of negotiating anything for that piece of information. Did you forget? I am a business-minded woman."
"Then what would it take to get you to tell me your fears?"
"It seems you're finally talking in terms I can understand, Mr. Genovese. It sounds like a rather lucrative proposal that I can reap some benefits from if you're saying I can decide. How about you become my significant other? I may just consider telling you if you were."
"Theoretically, if I said yes, what would the fear you reveal be?"
"There are no theoretical situations here. It's a simple yes or no. I may reveal more for free if you were my significant other you know."
"More? Like what?"
"Something big."
"Big?"
"Yes."
I looked into her eyes and seriously contemplated her offer, albeit slightly nervous. From her tone of voice, it seemed she wasn't joking.
"Can't you give me a hint as to what this big thing might be?"
"It involves your life."
"My life?"
"Yes."
"I'm really making this offer out of your best interests, Mr. Genovese."
"You will never get an offer this good out of me ever again if you turn it down. This time, it is really no joking matter. You should really consider becoming my significant other."
Her eyes were clear and unwavering. I could feel the sincerity in her offer, but I still felt skeptical. It was a huge deal for me to even consider something like this for real. I started to sweat, my thoughts ran rampant out of my control as I considered where all this suddenly sprung up from. I felt a strange sort of pressure that weighed down heavily on my shoulders, and I vaguely understood that it very well may be a life-changing proposition. It could very well tip the scale my life was balanced on. Though an even greater potential mess may arise in the future based upon the decision I made here.
"If you agree to my proposal, you have to kiss me on the lips of your own accord. No half-assed hand or forehead rubbish escape route will be permitted this time."
Her eyes had me on lockdown. I couldn't flee or sidestep around it even if I wanted to.
"Why does this feel like a shakedown?"
"Because that's precisely what it is."
"What other benefits do I get?"
"Oh? Seeking other benefits without realizing the position you are presently in? We can negotiate those so-called benefits after you've made your decision."
"Wouldn't I be a bad businessman if I didn't first negotiate some terms and conditions?"
"You don't have a choice in the matter."
"Are you not blatantly advocating for underhanded business practices right now."
"It's all part of the job description. If you want to progress in this world, you need to bend the rules and learn to be resourceful at times."
"This is clearly beyond bending the rules or being resourceful."
"It really isn't, you have the choice to decline after all. It's just that you'll probably regret it if you do."
Faced with the ultimatum in front of me, I cooled my riled up emotions and calmly thought it over. She surely wouldn't do this if it wasn't something of significance. But no matter how I racked my brains over it, the only thing I came up with was that it had to be something that threatened my life for her to try and persuade me so strongly. Something that only a relationship with her could avert.
When I finally came to a conclusion I closed the distance between us and told her, "Sorry, I refuse."
Our lips pressed together and I felt embarrassed by the lines I'd thought of for when she asked for the meaning behind my contradictory words and actions.
She appeared frozen in shock like she couldn't understand when I pulled away from her with an awkward expression.
"You can't just refuse then do that."
"Why not? There wasn't any clause that said I couldn't kiss you and still choose to not become your significant other."
"No no no. Mr. Genovese, that's like having your cake and eating it twice."
"If I did get into a relationship with you, I'd rather not cheapen it by it being formed just to possibly save my own ass or to get some information out of you. I've already been on the receiving end of a relationship where I was used before, I'd rather not do the same thing to someone else." Ugh, it was more embarrassing than I thought to say that with a straight face.