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Chapter 20 - I-I don’t understand....

(Hudson's p.o.v.)

"I-I don't understand." My voice cracks, and i can't keep it from quivering. He rolls his eyes, it's like he's trying to hurt me. "God Hudson, don't you get it? I would rather be caught dead than be friends with a-a hufflepuff!" He yells, looking at my hurt stricken face. I can feel the tears building up, but I refuse to cry here. Then he simply turns and leaves. Leaves me behind. Everyone tries to cheer me up, for a solid 20 minutes. but I don't feel like me, anymore. I feel empty. Like I could care less. Hell, I could care less! I have a piece of ice, stuck in my heart. And I don't want it out. Because then I have to feel pain. I go to my room, luckily I'm assigned to bedrest, so with no classes for a week, I get in bed. I don't even cry, not once. I only get out a few days later. Lily practically dragged me out, to be honest. She told me to wash, dress, and just get ready. And that if my butts not on the auditorium in half an hour, she'll take a wood chipper to all of my flower crowns. So, I'm there waiting, and then Sawyer gets on stage, based on his stumble I'd say he was pushed. and based on his expression, you'd think he doesn't want to be here, he actually doesn't look so good, like he hasn't slept either. I almost hadn't noticed that headmaster Dumbledore, professor Flitwick and professor Mcgonagall were all sitting there. He slowly walked up to the mic but don't say anything. "Hello Sawyer, I was informed by your friend miss Evans that you were not given a fair chance to get into the choir, but this time the three of will be deciding, whenever you're ready." Dumbledore smiles and waves for him to start, "oh um okay, this song is called 'stuck with you,' it's an original." He mumbles into the mic. Mcgonagall smiles and nods. What….is this really what she dragged me here for? I can't help but wonder. I turned away and was about to leave, when he started. And I couldn't help but stop, and listen.

"I wake up locked 

outside my room 

Breath that smells like booze 

from last night

I can't remember 

last night 

very well

I think I called you twice 

Just to say that 

you looked nice

In the pictures 

that your mom posted

to the profit the other night 

I know that I said

"I would rather be caught dead 

Than waste any of my time 

with you

inside my head" 

I can't believe it. Is he talking about me? I turn around and stare. 

But I can't control myself

I insist 

I don't need help

I can do it on my own 

Then I get drunk And then I get weak 

Then I get too scared to fall asleep 

And I think about us 

And who we were 

And who we are

And who we will be

And I think "Shit," It really sucks 

when you can't pick 

who you'll love 

And that's all that I can do 

when I'm still in love with you 

I'm stuck with you 

You and all your friends 

How you act  with them 

It's different 

And I don't think I like it very much

But who am I to say how

When you're so far away now 

Close enough to feel

but not to touch 

Then I get drunk And then I get weak 

Then I get to scared to fall asleep

And I think about us 

And who we were 

And who we are 

And who we will be And I think "Shit," 

It really sucks when you can't pick who you'll love 

And that's all that I can do cause

I'm still in love with you 

And that's all that I can do

And that's all that I can say 

And I know it's true

I can't make you feel a different way

So I'll go out with my friends 

I'll walk to my room alone

And when the night comes to an end I'll pick up the phone 

Now I'm drunk, Now I'm weak 

Now I'm too scared to fall asleep 

And I'm thinking about us 

And who we were 

And who we are 

And what we should be 

And I think "Shit,"

It really sucks when you can't pick who you'll love 

And that's all that I can do 

cause I am so in love with you 

Yeah that's all that i will do 

because I'm so in love with you

I'm stuck with you"

He take a step back from the mic and wipes his eyes.  Only then do I notice that I'm silently crying."That was beautiful Sawyer, truly." He smiles and nod along with him. "Thank you sir, for the opportunity." Before anymore can be said he walks off the stage and hugs lily. "Who was that song about anyway?" She asks, a mischievous look in her eyes as she looks at me. Standing there, unbeknownst to him. "I guess you'll never know." I heard him say, from my spot in the shadows. He let go, and walks away. I turn away to leave, as well. Walking back to my room. I couldn't sleep that night, I spent the whole time crying. That ice was gone, and all I had left was pain. That is, until I received a letter from Dumbledore. It was a summons for me…...and Sawyer? I quickly put on my hufflepuff robes, not bothering to get a flower crown. And walk over to the slytherin commons door. "Hey Sal, where's Sawyer?" I ask, knowing that I sound like a muggle teacher, trying to function with no coffee, who was up all night grading papers…. and had a migraine. "Well Sawyer's at the library with Mark." He said and instead of the pity i thought I'd see, he looks proud.  "What did you do?" I ask blankly. Sal chuckles, "sit, and I'll explain." He says, beaming with pride.