"We both know you don't have a choice, why don't we just talk about this." I grab his hands trying to get him to look me in the eyes but with no luck, he just pulls his hands away and slides under his bed. "Sawyer come on, we need to talk about this." I get on my hands and knees and look under his bed. I reach under his bed and grab his ankles and pull him out. "I don't want to talk about it, I want you out of my life." Why is it so hard for him to just let me care for him?! I pulled him close to me and hug him tightly until he calms down. "Just talk to me please, about anything, I just want you to be happy." He finally hugs me back and I feel almost complete. I help him stand up, wipe the stray tears from his eyes and fix his glasses. "I want to show you something." I grab the blanket from his bed and take his hand, we walk out of the door and up to the owlery, up a small ladder so that we could see the stars. "Wow, i've never seen so many stars in my life." He whispers. I find a flat spot where we both can sit, I sit and pull him into me so his back is leaning on my chest and wrap my arms around him. He rests his head on my chest and I resist the urge to kiss his head. You are the cutest thing on the planet. He doesn't even notice me staring at him, he just keeps watching the stars twinkle in the sky. I pull the blanket over us, he fixes his glasses and softly bites his lip. You do the cutest things without even noticing. "How did you find this place?" He asks after a few minutes of silence. "My sister found it when she went to school here." He nods and leans his head on my chest again. "Hey do you want to play a game?" I ask, he shrugs, never once taking his eyes away from the stars. "Basically I ask you a question and you ask me a question." He smiles and looks at me for a split second then looks away as if something bad was going to happen to me if he looks at me for more then 0.5 seconds. "So, my first question is..hm… Why are you so against me being your hufflepuff buddy?" I ask, knowing that he can hear the hurt in my voice. He looks down, almost as if ashamed of himself. "My life isn't the best, with everything my family has done, that I'm expected to follow…" He trails off then picks back up again as if he's said too much about his personal life. "I shut everyone out, don't take it personal, it's just easier." I can feel the anger in myself for letting him get this way bubble inside me. "My turn I guess… Why me? You could help literally anyone, why me?" I let my head drop, on his shoulder. "I don't want to help just anybody. Don't get me wrong, but I….this.." I cough, I know I'm blushing. So I won't look up at him. I take a deep breath, and look up at the stars. "I want to help you. Everyone else can find their own God Damn Hufflepuff." I say, confidently. "Did the one and only Hudson Hufflepuff just curse? Dang, never thought i'd live to see the day." I laugh, "Well, at least you didn't say something about the fact that I basically just talked about us Hufflepuffs like we're property." I feel my neck and ears turn red when I blush this time. "The thing is though, that I mean it. This whole Fing school can want Hufflepuff buddies, and I wouldn't share my new position with anyone else. They can start getting Muggle buddies, for all I care. Well, maybe not a choice few, I'd rather kill myself then let him near defenseless muggles." Sawyer turned to me confused. "Who's Him?" He asks. I look him in the eye. "A Bastard I watched hurt the best fucking guy ever, and It's worse cause it made me realize just how useless I was to him." I can't look him in the eye anymore. "If you'll let me, I'd like to be here for You, now. Will you please accept me?" I ask feeling like I'm gonna choke on the memories of what that bastard did. Before I could say anything more Sawyer stands up. "This was a mistake, I-I shouldn't be here, not with you." He just leaves me, walking along the roof and I can tell he is going to cry. I can't help it, before he can even get out of sight, or even earshot I start crying, and kind of hyperventilating in between sobs. I try to calm myself down but when my breathing quitets down I hear Sawyer mumbling to himself. "You don't deserve him, look at what you did, he will find someone else and you will just be a memory." I can't believe it, he thinks he's the only one who doesn't deserve something. I fucking love him, and It's my fault he keeps getting hurt. I can't help myself, even though I know I'm not quite. "God Fucking Damn It! You Think You're The One Who Has Something To Apologize For!" Now I'm really yelling, and I can feel the tears flowing down my face. "I SAW YOU GET HURT, SAWYER! MULTIPLE TIMES! AND EITHER I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! I DID THE WRONG THING! OR I GOT YOU HURT! ACTUALLY! SCRATCH THAT THE HURT PART ISN'T AN OR! I'M THE REASON, AREN'T I! HE HURT YOU BECAUSE OF ME. SO I TRIED STAYING AWAY, AND I WAS TO WEAK TO STAY AWAY! I TRIED INTERVENING! BUT THAT WAS WORSE FOR YOU! SO, I TRIED SHOWING YOU I CARE BY RISKING MY LIFE! BUT I WAS TOO STUBBORN TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL WING, SO I GOT YOU IN TROUBLE, AGAIN! EVEN WHEN I WAS GONE, I GOT YOU INTO TROUBLE, YOU THINK THAT I DIDN'T NOTICE YOUR ARMS. OR YOUR FACE FOR THAT MATTER! YOUR CONCEAL JOB IS SPOTTY AT BEST! AND IT'S MY GOD DAMN FUCKING FAULT! YOU…" I break off, unable to continue, because I was choking on my tears now, as if the couldn't come out fast enough. "Let me love you
And I will love you
Until you learn to love yourself
Let me love you
I know your trouble
Don't be afraid, oh, I can help
Let me love you
And I will love you
Until you learn to love yourself
Let me love you
A heart of numbness gets brought to life
I'll take you there." I sing to myself, "Just let me love you Sawyer Slytherin." With that said I just collapse on the roof, until I'm woken up by someone shaking my shoulder. I opened my eyes and I see Sawyer there, still red eyed looking exhausted. "We-we have to get to class." I look away from him "no… You have to go to class, I get to trail you, and be completely confused." I can't help but look at him now. "I'm warning you now, if you are close with any boys in these classes, either we skip. Or they can blame you for being ballsless." I know I'm being rude, but I'm hurt and seriously irritated. "I'm the descendant of Salazar slytherin and my family has caused so much pain, if you think I have any friends at all you're more stupid then I thought you were." He doesn't wait for me, he just starts walking to his class. " I Didn't say friends, I think your past is enough to show that guys always want the one they think of as either the good type, the absolute worst type." I can't help but mutter. "Fucking typical." Sawyer mumbled under his breath, we walk into the D.A.D.A room and he sits in the far back of the classroom, and I know even with his glasses he can't see that far. "Hey Sawyer…. I just thought of it but…. why do you still wear glasses?" I ask, feeling like he should have thought of this solution before. "My step mom threw me into an amor, the glass shattered, got in my eyes. Had to have surgery, totally fucked up my sight." I feel my eyebrows crease, making a mental note to talk to Salazar about it. "No, I mean like why haven't you just fixed your eyesight...I mean you have a wand now...and I'm told there's a spell for everything." I say, knowing I sound confused, and probably reeaaaallllllllyyy dumb. But when It's me, that can't be helped. "There is a spell for Almost everything, fixing eyesight is not one of them, besides, i'm fine with my glasses." The class starts and from start to finish I have absolutely no Idea what they are talking about at all. God and when they passed out the worksheets, I was tempted to just throw it away. Sawyer finished it like it was a piece of cake. "Look, to produce a patronus, you must do what Hudson? It's as simple as a thought." "uhm… well the only thing I seem to remember is the trouble twins magic show...I can show you how to light the air around this paper on fire, but not leave a single mark on the paper itself." I said, cheering up at the thought. "Or you know, just set the damn paper on fire. Or-" Sawyer giggles and my heart flutters, "How about we move away from arson, A patronus is something you feel from deep down, only the happiest memories or imagination could bring it to light, so not everyone can produce one." I wrinkle up my nose "Well shit, does simple contentment with how life was work?" " He shrugs, "If what you imagine life to be is a strong and happy memory then yes." I look at him. "I used too." I say wistfully, then my voice hardens. "Then I learned of some of the stupid fucking shit that can happen. Life's a fucker." I groan. "But… without those shitty days, all the good days would be normal, you can't have good without bad, or dark without light. Without one the other would have no meaning." I groan, i can't help it. I light the air above my pinky on fire, and show it Sawyer. He looks at it for a minute and nods. "Like you fire finger for example, you wanted this finger to see light, so you made it happen, you got to take the things you want Hudson, no one's gonna just hand them to you." I make the fire barely touch my actual finger. "Ugh, I thought you're the Slytherin. Why the hell are you giving me Zen life lessons." He throws his hands in the air. "Because everyone needs help, as a matter of fact listen to me because i'm about to give you advice I don't want you to forget. We accept the love we think we deserve, but there will always be someone who makes us think we could be more." He hurt me, and I want to return the favor. "Thinking of Mark?" I mock. "More trouble in paradise?" I ask jokingly. "At least I have a 'paradise', you're to busy trying to get in everyone else's." He shuts his book and the bell rings. "thank Mother Teresa. Now I can finally go somewhere else." I groan, and look at Sawyer.