I was lost in a labyrinth of pain and sorrow. Every turn I made only led me to another painful memory of my bullies. They stood tall, almost like giants and towered over me, using my fear for their own goodwill.
I could feel the same coldness I always felt whenever they were torturing, hitting, kicking and shoving me. I often wondered why they bullied me. Why? My feet picked up the pace and soon I was running at a fast speed.
Soon I saw the one bully that hurt me the most, Dylan, he started to tease me. Calling me names, then physically by kicking and punching at my already unstable body.
My breath was uneven and I found myself panting, he looked at me with evil eyes before pulling out a knife and aiming it tow-
I shot up from my bed, sweat falling from my head and my body filled with anxiety. This was the first time in about two weeks since I've had a nightmare. I felt like I was drowning in a deep ocean and I instantly knew that I was having a panic attack.
"Lina!" Josh yelled as he ran into the room. "What happened? I heard screaming.". "Nightmare....panic attack...". I hurriedly said. He gasped and rubbed my back whilst trying to comfort me. It took a while, but I calmed down and Josh was lost in his thoughts. "These nightmares you have are reoccurring, aren't they? And it's because of the bullying?" He asked while chocking up. I nodded and I saw tears glisten in his eyes. "Lina, I want you to go see a therapist. Talking to someone will help and maybe you can get rid of the bloody nightmares." He said. "Josh...if that's what you want me to do then I'll do it. I don't want to stress you out more." I whispered in a hoarse voice.
Tears flowed down my face, causing my body to convulse in sobs. "Lina, calm down. It will be fine. I promise." Josh said in attempts to calm me down. I nodded and wiped my tears, feeling disgusted with myself for being so weak. "Thank you Josh, but go back to bed, it's only five in the morning and it's Saturday and I know how tired you are right-." I was suddenly cut off by the sound of my phone ringing.
I picked it up and my eyes furrowed in confusion when I saw Nate's picture flash across the screen. I instantly answered. "Hello?" I said worriedly. "Angelina....the doctor just told us that something bad has happened. He said that there are some complications in his surgery and I think you need to get here right now." Nate's mother said while crying. My heart froze, the feeling I had before Nate walked away has been true. I just got him and now I'm going to lose him, I thought to myself. "I-I'll is there soon," I said quietly while hanging up and jumping to my feet.
"What's wrong with Nathan?". Josh asked while running after me. "His surgery, something has gone wrong and his mother said that I should get there now," I said before rushing into the bathroom. I locked the door and I suddenly felt my whole body drop, tears flowed from my eyes for the second time today.
"I'll take you there Lina but don't stress yourself out ok?" Josh asked from behind the door. I muttered a small yes hoping that he didn't detect the dismay in my voice. I heard my bedroom door closed and quickly changed, praying and hoping that he was alright.
. . .
When we arrived, I found Nate's parents in the waiting room. They turned to meet my gaze when I walked up to them. "What's wrong? What happened?" I asked with concern. "I don't know. The nurse just said that there was a complication and Nate had to be resuscitated twice. They said that he might slip into a coma." Mrs. Hale said. I nodded, sat down next to her and held her hand. "He promised me that he would be safe, and I know he's going to keep that promise," I told her. She nodded and went back to crying softly for her son.
I looked up at Mr. Hale who was pacing the floors so fast that it could wear away. "Mr. Hale, please sit down. Being stressed won't change anything. He's strong and he will make it through this." I told him calmly. He looked at me with a hint of regret and sat down. "I was wrong about you Angelina, you're just what Nate needs." I smiled at his words and realized that we would be here for a while. "I'm gonna go get you guys some food from the cafeteria. You're probably really famished." I said while standing up, I felt dizzy like something had taken over my ability to walk and was dragging me down.
I held onto the chair for support, hoping for the dizzy spell to go away. "Angelina are you alright dear?" Mrs. Hale asked concerned. I nodded, not trusting my voice, but found that my nod has been somewhat of a lie when my body crashed to the floor. The last thing I saw before it went completely dark, was nurses rushing to my seemingly lifeless body.
. . .
My eyes fluttered open, an unfamiliar room meeting my eyes. My headaches and I saw two of everything in the room. "You're awake? Angelina, can you hear me?" A distant voice asked. I nodded in fear and whimpered when I found that I couldn't move without feeling pain. "Shh, don't try to move. You have a severe concussion. You hit your head really hard. So if you're vision is blurry or you can't focus then that's normal." Another voice said.
"Nate..." I found myself whispering. "Nate is....he's in a coma, Angelina. He's hasn't woken up, you've been unconscious for about nineteen hours." The voice explained I nodded in acknowledgment. "Nate....he needs to wake up...I just got him back...." I muttered out slowly. "Shhh, let me just put the IV in your arm and soon you'll feel better." The voice replied. I nodded and felt a tingling in my arm, signaling that the IV needle was on my arm.
For a few minutes, everything was a haze, but now I could recognize my surroundings. The voices had belonged to Dr. Silver and Josh. "Angelina you passed out due to the amount of stress on your mind and your body, stressing about Nate just made it harder on your body. You were so tired that you're body completely shut down so you could get some rest. You've been out for nineteen hours." My eyes widened in shock.
"You gave us quite a scare sis," Josh said. Now that I looked at him, there were bags under his eyes, his hair was a mess and he looked like he hadn't slept in days even though it had only been nineteen hours. "Angelina, there's a therapist in this hospital. Dr. Silver has recommended that you see her about the nightmares you've been getting." Josh said firmly.
I bit my lip in nervousness and nodded. "Ok...but if I see her you have to promise that you'll take a break and have some rest. Josh, you're hurting yourself and seeing you like this is hurting me knowing that I'm the cause. Go home, take a few days off of work.". "Ok fine, but in return, you'll go to the therapist?" He asked unsurely. "Yes," I said truthfully. "Do they know how long it's gonna take for Nate to wake up?" I asked hopefully.
"Angelina, they don't know if he's going to wake up. He had to be resuscitated twice during the surgery.". I took a deep breath in. "I've only known Nate for a month and one week, and we've only just started dating. I just got him and I'm not going to lose him now." I stated with a clenched jaw.
The feeling of an endless sadness overcame my entire being, like a labyrinth of eternal pain. Tears flowed down my cheek as I stared at the white wall in front of me. "I'm going to call the therapist in so you can talk to her and work out schedules ok Angelina?" Dr. Silver asked. "Ok Dr. Silvie," I said with a cheeky smirk.
He grinned then walked out of the room, making sure to close the door behind him. "Lina, I'm so sorry that you have to go through all of this, and I'm sorry that I've been working a lot over the past few days. As soon as you're better we're going on a vacation. I promise." Josh said quietly, with a few tears escaping his eyes.
"Josh, things happen, and I couldn't avoid the inevitable, but the only good thing is that I have you here to help me when I need it.". I responded with a heartfelt voice. He nodded, gave me a quick hug, a kiss on the forehead, and left the room.
True to his words, Dr. Silver returned with a short, petite looking woman who looked to be in her late twenties. I was shocked at how young she looked because I partially expected an old, wrinkly woman. "Hello Angelina, Dr. Silver recommended that I come here and talked to you. He mentioned something about reoccurring nightmares that you've been having." The woman said getting straight to the point.
"Angelina this is Dr. White, she's here to help you. Please hear her out and cooperate. I'll leave you guys to get acquainted with each other." Dr. Silver said before quietly walking out of the room.
I took a deep breath and looked at the woman. "Aren't you too young to be a therapist?" I asked her bluntly. My eyes widened when I realized what I had said, but when she laughed I felt relief wash over me. "I get that a lot, I just graduated from college so I started working here. Before you tell me about yourself I just want you to know that I'm not the type of therapist that doesn't understand what you're going through. I was bullied for most of my high school life, and I know that it can be cruel." I sighed and lifted my head up to look into her eyes, taking a deep breath and letting myself ease out of my worries, letting myself finally open up. "It all began when...."
. . .
An hour later I found myself in front of a stranger, raging for all the things I've dealt with. Somehow, Dr. White who had told me to call her Maggie, had managed to learn my whole story. From the moment my parents left to the moment I found out I had cancer.
She recommended anxiety pills, antidepressants, and sleeping pills for my problems and they wouldn't I now have to see her every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
By the time I had calmed down, Dr. White excused herself to get the prescriptions I needed. Just as she walked out the door, Josh walked in with a huge smile on his face. "I'm happy you opened up so fast, thank you so much for doing this Lina." He said while hugging me.
I giggled and nodded my head. "Anything for my favorite big brother," I said with a wink. "But I'm your only brother...". "Exactly. I replied with a smirk on my face, he pouted and stomped his feet like a five-year-old which only earned him a round of laughter from me.
"Dr. White went to get prescriptions for me, I now have to take three sets of pills along with my anti-sickness pill, " I told Josh exhaustingly. "Don't worry, these pills are to help you get better. Soon you won't need them anymore.". "I hope so I really do."
So there I was, sitting with my brother thinking yet again about my issues. Could this have been unavoidable? Would Nate wake up? If my parents had left would things be different? But as another question popped into my mind, I knew that even if I have cancer, had been bullied, and have no parental help in my life, I wouldn't change it.
Would I have met the amazing people in my life now, would I have met Nate?