Chereads / 《CHANGE 》 / Chapter 54 - 11/6/2017- "Why did I change?..."

Chapter 54 - 11/6/2017- "Why did I change?..."

* MITSURU FUKUYAMA *

I groaned as I woke up, my head felt fuzzy. I was left in a horrible state, my arms were tight and numb. I wondered what time did I go to sleep... However, the state of the room differed to my wonder.

The last thing I remembered was cutting my arms with hatred and angstrom. Yet, everything else was a blur. I looked around me and noticed the details of the state of the room. Pieces of paper scattered on the floor and the dressing table. Droplets of blood splattered on the mirror, the floor and my bed.

My arms were in pain, I had a look and noticed the tight bandages strangling my arm, pessuring the blood within. I realised that each piece of paper were from my diary.

Now I remember! I got so angry that I tore the pages from that tragedy apart! If anyone saw- shit! Sayuri was right here! Where did she go? I quickly lifted myself up, I gathered and assembled the pieces of paper from the floor. The paper wasn't that small, I tore the pages in half then half again, so they were fairly big.

I realised the puzzle, was incomplete. There was one piece missing! In a panic, I rapidly searched the whole room for it. But to no avail... I couldn't find it. I could only assume that Sayuri took it!

Why is it so important?.... Because that single piece of paper, is the only evidence and key to my darkest secret! If Sayuri has it then she'll know what kind of a wicked person I really am!

She'll think I'm crazy! A psychopath who likes f*cking his f*cking sister!! She'll tell the world! And I'll!-.... Wait... Why do I care what other people think...?

I never did before... I could tell a complete stranger that I was a male prostitute ... I felt like it was normal...

Back then... If someone were to find out what happened in my past, then I would tell them to do whatever they f*cking wanted! I don't care! Go f*ck yourself!

I wouldn't even give a damn! Do whatever you want! As long as your satisfied with your life!... it doesn't make a damn difference to me! I was gonna die soon anyways!... Go ahead!

Torture me! Destroy me! Light up the match and burn me!!... it'll be so much better.. If they knew the truth... They could all die with me! Who cares if they find out!?

I would be so glad to die quickly! I just don't understand why I didn't do it earlier!.....

● ● ●

It's because of them... Isn't it?... They won't trust me of I went out and told them... but now that I've grown so close to their trust, that I can now fully trust them... I'm afraid of losing it... I'm afraid of betraying them...

I don't know why... but I don't want them to leave me.... Why did I end up like this...?

"W h y    d i d    I    c h a n g e ?....."

(Mitsuru and Sayuri)

I knocked on the girls dorm door, I knew she would be hiding in here. I awaited for her to say something but she was silent, unwilling to talk. As a result I opened the door, I stepped in and it was dark... The curtains were drawn and Sayuri sat against a wall, she sat with her knees up and her head buried inbetween.

"Hey..." I walked in and closed the door. It was dead silence.

I heard whimpers of her crying, she sobbed quietly like she was standing by a silent grave... The feeling gave off like a thrilling funeral.

Tik! Tok! Tik! Tok! Tik! Tok!

The only existing sound was the clock, hanged above my head. I stood silently infront of the door.

After a while, Sayuri slowly lifted up her head, revealing to me, what looked like a predator gnarling at her prey. Her eyes were peering at me with terror. Aiming with precision, a direct shot at my eyes. The aura between us, felt like I was standing in a battlefield.

"So... you know everything. Huh?" I finally broke the silence, calmly glaring back at her with a glow of aurora in my eyes.

She most likely didn't expect me to be here, that's probably why she still wore that face. Her eyes glistened and swelled up with tears, slowly forming. Her eyes stayed like that, because she wasn't willing to allow her tears to break through.

I walked toward her, my hands in my pocket and my face held up high. I strolled with confidence, I looked down at her as if she's a dog. Well.. She is a bitch...

She refused any conversation and retreated her head back down. I desired to stomped on her little head and declare the word, 'SPEAK!'... Like I would with a dog.

"Well then... now we're even... I know you're secret... you know mine." I spoke.

She's a killer... and I'm an f*cker...

"Is there anything you want to say to me?!" I became impatient. This long silence was enough to make me break loose.

Sayuri, slowly stood up... I saw her muscle from her arms and legs, that lifted her up, to stand infront me.

She kept her head down, "Is it true?..." Her voice was trembling.

"Yes." I answered quickly. She remained silent. "I was raped by my sister and I loved it!..." I glared at her as if I was talking to the dead motherf*cker!

"No... You're lying!!" She screamed out.

"You have proof, don't you?" I directed my sight at the balled up piece of paper, lying on the floor. "Tell me... what part of that was a lie?... That I was raped... or that I loved it!" I felt strange, I felt disgusted at my attitude towards this. I wish could just scream and cry but I held it all in. I want to become a monster!

I really had a disgusting desire to restrain her arms and jump on top of her... so that she can only obey me!

"Why? Misturu... Why? Why didn't you say anything...?" She slowly looked up at me with uncertainty.

I walked closer and closer to her, while searching for an answer. She was leaning against the wall and she lowered her gaze once I stepped forward.

"Did you really think that if you knew-.."

"Why did she do that?!" Sayuri interrupted me, with a strong and firm voice but anger and disgust filled her teary eyes.

How dare she look at me like that?!

"Tell me!" I froze. I'm slowly feeling resentment towards her. "Why aren't you saying anything?... You need help! We have to tell someone!"

I hate it when she tries to help me...

"You won't be telling anyone!" I finally did as I desired. I grabbed her shoulders and threw her on the floor. I used all the strength I had.

I was on top of her and she was crying in fear.

"You ever tell anyone... I'll rape you myself!!"

*SAYURI SCHREIBER *

I tried to push him away but he would move in closer, there was no use... I trembled on fear as I nodded my head, averting my eyes as I agreed to his demand.

"What?... what's wrong, you poor little kitty?...!" His disgusting smile spread across his face.

I shrieked as he slid his leg, intertwined with mine. "Stop! I promise! I promise I won't say anything to anyone!" I cried, pleading desperately as tears were flowing down.

Suddenly, I felt at ease... he let me go?...

"Fine.." he averted his eyes, but he had a sympathetic expression, something I was astounded to see. "But if I find out that you've told someone- anyone. Then, I'll have to do it... do you understand? Not even Yusari and Maehara..."

He was standing before me, his eyes filled with regret and sadness. If there was anyway, I would want to remove it all away.

"Yes, I understand..." I tried pushing myself up, but as I tried to balance myself and because my vision was still blurry from all the tears, I tripped and fell.

"What are you doing?"

"Huh?" I hadn't realised but I landed safely on his chest. He was holding me.

"I would be more careful if I were you..."

I quickly straightened myself up. I stood before him, looking at him. It felt as though it was my duty to bow down to him as my king.

Mitsuru unveiled the curtained windows and sat on the window sill.

"So, now you know my secret... tell me yours.." I looked at him confused.

"Wha- what do you mean?-"

"Don't play dumb. I mean... Why did you kill all of those people?..." He still refused to give me any eye contact.

But I glanced at him, the sun shining at his face, making them glow. His eyes look very beautiful in the light. He's like an angel in the sun but a devil when the curtains are drawn.

"Oh... you want to know my story now..." I still felt uncomfortable. I didn't want to say it, but I have no choice.

He shook his head, slightly. I sat next to him, on the window sill, my back against the window pane. I left a gap of distance between us. I sighed before approaching the story, but Misturu waited patiently as he stared outside.

"It's happened 2 months after my mother died... She was killed on Christmas eve, I was punished and was forbidden to walk outside. I was trapped for months, before I decided to escape... I was hoping to meet my friends after a long time but..."

20/4/2009

"Ameelia"

I have finally found a way to escape! I can't wait to meet Louise and Charlotte! I'll be so happy to meet them... But what if they won't be happy to see me? I'm so scared of getting caught and that I'll be the next one to get punished!...

Mama... please help me...

"When I got there, my best friend was covered in blood, half of her body was in the lake and a sword penetrated through her body. In my village, anyone who commits a sin, must be killed by the priest of the temple...!

Turns out, she had an affair with the person I loved... Louise... However, he was spared! And she was left to die!... He approached me and he quickly became my only friend, I turned to him whenever I needed him... But he used my love for him... When I was 12... he told me that we had to run away together...

But in order to do that... We had to kill everyone!"...

11/4/2011

He wants me to kill... Louise, my heart... Please take it... I'll be able to do it... I'll love you till I die... I don't care! They deserve to die! Because their actions are unjust! I'll do it! I'll kill anyone who stands between our love!!

****

On the 15th of June 2011, a 12 year old girl walked through a temple, an aisle, at the end of it were three priests. They held swords in their palms. Many people were gathered in the temple.

Ameelia bowed down on her knees.

"Ameelia Schreiber! Admit your sin!"

"I, Ameelia Schreiber, admit that I've fallen for love! And his name is... LOUISE!" At the sound of the signal, Louise stabbed the man in the center.

The audience froze in shock. The other 2 men, raised their swords at him, but Ameelia grabbed the sword from the deceased Pope and defended him. Louise slashed the two men in lightning speed.

Everyone began running from the scene, however as they screamed for the door, there was no way for them to escape.

The doors were locked, they were pleading for help. However, the smell of gasoline attracted their noses as they turned around in fear. Ameelia held a lit match stick and threw it in the puddle of gasoline. Fire raged up and swallowed everything in its way!

*SAYURI SCHREIBER *

"That's when we escaped out from the back gate. Everyone inside died... I thought that was it but when I looked at Louise... he was thrillingly frightful!... He wanted more!... He started rampaging into people's homes and killed everyone in sight! He wouldn't stop to look down at them. Until... he finally stopped.. he looked at me, dead within the night sky and said,

"Why aren't you killing?..." He handed me the sword, stained with blood. But I, hesitantly, lifted the heavy sword in my hands.

However, he wanted me to kill the grieving victim, who was begging on her knees, crying. "Don't you love me?!..." He held over my hand, and assisted me by lifting it above her head.

For some reason, my heart fluttered at that moment, that I was willingly able to force the sword through her... and killed!

After that.... I don't remember what I did... but... it was dancing in a trance... confetti of blood sparkled in that moment... when I awoke... Everyone was dead... men, women and even children, whom I've played with as a child! Died!...

BY MY OWN HANDS!!!"

To be continued. . .