Chereads / 《CHANGE 》 / Chapter 49 - 10/6/2017- "Be honest"

Chapter 49 - 10/6/2017- "Be honest"

*MITSURU FUKUYAMA *

I'm glad things were finally settled... but why did he have to say all that?! If he just kept his mouth shut, I wouldn't have to imagine that!... Wait... Was he seriously...? Did he do all that... so that I could?...

Of course... he wanted me to kill him! With my own hands! What a bastard!... He actually wanted to die! But why...? What happened to him that made him think like that...?

"I know for a fact that you've suffered alot.

Because I know what those bandages mean..."

"...I too have been through suffering.."

Why am I so stupid?! He helped me at that time! But I couldn't do a thing for him. I can't believe I treated him like that... I should've asked if he's been suicidal...

But I was too selfish, worrying about myself... Even though, he has said so many things to me, that hurt me, I still held it all in. For his sake... in my mind, I knew that he wanted me to kill him... If it were somebody else... I would.

But, I bottled up my emotions, because if I killed him, I would've regretted it... If I told him to go ahead and die... I would've regretted it... And Maehara... wouldn't have such a long life to live.. That makes both of us...

From now on, nobody around me will suffer... I'll do whatever I can to help them live...

Even if I... Don't want to be around anymore...

*SAYURI SCHREIBER *

"So...what were you talking about?" I asked smirking, with my arms crossed, and my body leaning against the wall.

I heard a few things that they were talking about, but I didn't quite understand. All I know, is that they were talking about me! But I don't understand... I thought that Mitsuru had feelings for me, that's what Yuuzaru said... Yes... I gave that perv a name! It rhymed with 'Mitsuru'!

"Oh, um... nothing." He acted bashfully, scratching the back of his head. What a good little boy!~ 🐶

"Come on! Tell me! Were you gossiping?!"

"Guys don't gossip... and no, I won't tell you."

"Why not?! Were you talking about me?!" I yelled excitedly. I couldn't help it!

"So, what if we did?.."

My heart pounced. Maehara looked at me with a cheeky face, I didn't know how to react, but I ended up giving him a nervous smile. "...Uh..." Because of my nerves, I couldn't speak.

"Do you like him?..."

"What?! No!" That just slipped out of my mouth. Even though, I can feel what he's saying is the truth but I can't accept it. I can't be in love!..

"Why not? I can tell from your eyes that you're in love..!" He's now teasing me.

"Stop! I can't possibly be in love! It's a sin! If I love anyone ever again!... I'll DIE!!" I snapped, suddenly realised what just said.

"Woah! Calm down!" Maehara grabbed me by my shoulders and blocked my view. "People will hear you... Don't stress too much about it... I was only teasing." He sounded so considerate.

"But..."

"Hm?"

I thought to myself, if it was ok to talk to him about it... What the old priest warned me about love...

"What if... I am in love?... what am I supposed to do?" My cheeks were burning up, I knew I was blushing.

"Well... There's two options when it comes to love; The first one is confess and love each other for eternity... or... hide it... and remain in love, deep in solitude and sadness. But... I don't know what you're afraid of? Being in love isn't a sin, and if you have the chance to do it, confe-"

"I would rather hide it." I interrupted him, looking down.

"But... hiding your love for someone is awfully painful..."

"It's fine... I'll be gone next year, then I'll forget about him." I said bluntly.

"You're being cold, that's a first..." He mumbled.

"Don't you are tell anyone about this!.." I pointed at him, and he looked at me in fight. I was talking in a cold monotonous voice.

"Ok..."

"Right! Let's go! You need to help me set up with all of the decorations!" I skipped away happily.

"Sayuri!" I swirled around at him, he looked disappointed. "Um... Is... Yusari still mad at me?..."

"Oh, don't worry about that! She's already forgotten about you!" I tried to lift up his spirits. But... he looked down in regret... oh! Shit! I shouldn't have said that!

"Really? How?"

"Oh, um... She went to talk to Mr Shintaru and she quickly became happy!... Ah! That's what happens when you're in love...!~" Though Mitsuru doesn't do that with me...

I didn't mean anything bad but when I looked back at Maehara, he was more upset than before! "I mean! That's why I'm not in love with Misturu! Because that guy's a sore thumb! Hahaha! Know what I mean!" I tried to be humorous but all I heard was a nervous and fake laugh.

"Yeah... You're right." He smiled through his sadness.

"What's wrong?" I could tell immediately.

"It's nothing." You're lying.

*HASHIBA MAEHARA *

I placed a fake mask on my face. But she didn't look convinced. I Know what I'm doing is a lie, I know it's wrong... but I don't want to tell her that I-..."You love Yusari... Don't you?.."

How did she see?... what gave it away? I have to fix it! I have to fix my mask! It's slipping!

"You're hiding your love...Aren't you? You know that it's painful, but you wouldn't know that...unless, you are hiding it."

"Well... now, you know. Yeah... it hurts..." I never should've tried being someone I'm not. Then I would have not fallen in love with Yusari. "I don't have a chance with her... that's why I want to give up..."

"No... you can't... I won't let you do that." Sayuri said firmly.

"Why not? We can at least hide our love together."

*SAYURI SCHREIBER *

He still has a chance, I'm sure of it! "Um, why don't you go and talk to Yusari for a while..? She has alot on her hands, why don't you help her?..." I suggested.

"You're kidding?!" He smiled. "But she hates me. She'll kick me out!"

"Please, just try..." he looked at me and let out a sigh of relief.

"Fine!... Will you be fine decorating alone...?"

"Yes! Don't worry about me!"

"I'll come round, after ok!" I waved and he excitedly ran towards the kitchen. I can feel his happiness whenever he's around Yusari.

They belong together.

*HASHIBA MAEHARA *

I'm standing nervously outside the kitchen, I can smell something,... so deliciously creamy, rich and tasty. It's...mmm!~ "Chocolate!~"

"What are you doing here?" Yusari groaned as I opened the doors.

"Um.." I felt nervous, she's really intimidating. "I finally decided to help."

"Oh, now you want to help!"

"What are you baking?" I ignored her, because I didn't know how to respond to that.

"What do you think?!"

I can't talk to her... She hates me. I bent down to the oven, "Is that a chocolate cake in the oven?" I'm being really stupid right now.

"Argh!" She groaned and rolled her eyes at me, being frustrated by the sight of me. "What are you doing here?!"

As I stood up and said, "Right! What else do you need to bake?" I exclaimed, trying to ignore her and place a fake personality that I created.

"Nothing! Just go away!"

"I'm just tying to help!" I broke out of character.

"I don't need it! Now go!" She yelled and began shoving me away, towards the door.

"No, wait!" I turned around quickly, I blocked the door by spreading my arms out and slamming my hands to the sides of the door. "I need to tell you something!!"

She stopped pushing and looked at me with wonder. Those eyes... her crystal blue eyes... I can't get my eyes off her, I can't stop falling in love...

"Please..." I begged.

"You really want this second chance, don't you?..."

I nodded. Yusari lowered her gaze and sighed. "No. Wait... This is the third chance I'm giving you, right?"

"The first chance you gave me was when we first met, remember?..." I said, staring at her beautiful face.

Yusari giggled under her breath, the memory was a nostalgic feeling..wasn't it? She looked at me, with a soft and beautiful smile. Her soft, beautiful lips curled up, I just want to move closer and kiss her. I want to taste her, the feeling of unrequited love...

"What is it?" She asked. Was I staring at her for too long?... or should I... say what needed to be said.

"I wanted to apologise to you... I'm sorry... I overreacted."

I looked at her but she seemed unsatisfied with my apology. I was confused, why is she looking at me like that?

"You overreacted?... that's it."

"No! That's not it." I blued that out without thinking. What could I possibly say that would convince Her?

At that moment, the thought came to me, "Why don't you be honest for once?..." I had to tell her the truth, but... I really don't have the right words to explain it...

"Uh...um.. I.. I had a chat with Mitsuru...and I realise why I was-"

"Wait, wait, wait!" She shook her hands together and halted me.

Um... Excuse me!... Did the middle of my sentence, interrupt the beginning of yours?!

"What?"

"Why did you feel sick?"

"Huh?" This is a random question. Why is she asking me now?...

"Come on! You gagged right infront of me! I was worried..." She looked up, blushing. I love that face, she looks so cute... I want to hold her... please... This feeling won't go away, it will only grow... my desires will soon ruin you, Yusari.

Once she said those words... I knew everything that I had said to her was wrong... Except when I said sorry, I really meant that!

"I even went to the bathroom to check if you were alright!... But then I left when you were continously vomiting." She explained further.

I couldn't help but chuckle, she's so cute! She actually cared..! And here I am losing my mind because I didn't know the full story. Yusari looked at me in a confused state, wondering 'Why is he laughing?'

"What?!"

"Nothing...I'm sorry. .. It was just a misunderstanding?!" I exclaimed. Trying to reduce my laughter.

"Huh?! What are you talking about?!"

I stopped laughing and sighed, "I thought you didn't even care that I was sick... but instead you went as far as to go to the men's bathroom, just to check up on me!" I laughed, I couldn't believe she did that!

"Yeah! So what?!" She punched my arm. "I was worried!" I couldn't help but laugh!

"Okay, okay! Stop!"

I felt so happy after feeling so worthless...! I can't control it now..! I love her!

"I was angry because I thought that you didn't even care that I was sick... And I felt alot of things I shouldn't have.. But after I talked to Mitsuru, I realised that I... was wrong... I shouldn't have blamed you... whether you care for me or not. I shouldn't have reacted like that..."

I looked at her beautiful sky blue eyes, her calm and collected face... her skin, white as snow. As I gazed at her... I felt my heart race.

"Everyone reacts differently due to their emotions. It's normal.. Well! I'm just glad that you're ok now." I'm glad too...I thought she would hate me. "But! You really pissed me off!" She punched me again.

"I'm sorry, ok!"

I can feel it... My smile, shining so bright.

Thank you, Yusari... Because of you...

I want to live!

To be continued. . .