**HASHIBA MAEHARA **
Damn it... its the middle of the night and I'm feeling sick. My head is dizzy and I'm feeling nauseous. I walk out of the bathroom, as I walk away I hear a quiet cry...
I turn around, and search to where the sound is coming from. I noticed at the end of the hallway, sitting in the corner, was a girl. I walked towards her...I distinguished the girl and it was Yusari!
I moved in closer, it seems like she was crying.
"Yusari....Are you ok?..." I sat down beside her, and I left some space in between us, because I know what she's like. But I wonder what happened? Did she already confess to Mr Shintaru? But why would she...?
After I spoke she quivered and moved away. It's like she's saying "leave me alone..." But I won't, because...I'm her friend...
I wanted to comfort her....
"Hey...It's ok...you don't need to tell me... I just wanted to be here for you...Because that's what friends do..."
"Just leave me alone!"
"I'm not going anywhere..." Her expression looked devestated. Tears were streaming down her face. Her eyes looked red and sore. Her emotions seemed painful. I won't be leaving a person in that state. Like a flower...that can no longer bloom.
Yusari then began to squash herself against the corner, 'trying' to get away from me, like that's gonna do anything...
In fact, this sudden thought came across my mind, and I remembered...
Early this afternoon.....
****
"WHAT???!!!" I screamed back at Mitsuru. But then a phone rang, it was Yusari's phone.
She took it out of her pocket and slowly gazed at it. At this point, I stopped giving Mitsuru too mush attention, he didn't deserve. Yusari declined the number. "Huh?...didn't you need to take that?..."
"What's it to you?!" She said coldly.
"Eek!"
****
Throughout the whole day, she's been getting constant phone calls and text messages, that eventually....pissed her off...but why?... Was it her ex or something?....
I can see her clenching on her phone. Maybe, she finally answered....
"Who's been calling you lately?-"
"YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW!! SO SHUT UP!" She started getting aggressive. She was kicking, shoving and pushing me away. I tried to resist but I couldn't. I let her hit me.
However, she was the one getting hurt... She was screaming in distress, it was the middle of the night, someone might hear us. I, then quickly grabbed her arms and pushed her against the wall. I didn't want to use too much force but I had to result to this.
As soon as I saw her face, completely soaked in tears, I froze. I gently let her go...I didn't know what to do... She covered her face with her hands, leaned down and started bawling her eyes out.... I was still frozen in shock.
I couldn't stand to see her cry like this.
I couldn't standing hearing her cry like this.
I couldn't stand feeling her pain poring out like this.
I slowly moved forward....lifted her chin, laid my hand on her back. I looked into her eyes as she looked into mine. ..
I'm not trying to be over dramatic her, (But for writings sake...)
It felt like I was flying into space, I was lost on my way back home but when I found the sun.... No matter where you are... No matter where I am... We'll always find each other.
Like how the sun and moon always find each other, to create a beautiful eclipse....We are a beautiful eclipse. ....Wait- Am! No!.....I sounded like I'm. ....I'm in love with Her! -
"..It was my dad..." I was distracted by my own thoughts that I looked confused to what was happening!
"What?..."
"I was ignoring my dad's phone calls...." I mean...I get that alot...me and my dad never get along. I was raised in a rich home, so my father was always strict with me. I really hate my father.
"Why?..." I asked, she took a while to respond but she hid her face.
"Because....Because....I...hate him!...."
"What?! Same here! My dad's been strict on me Eversince I was born! Now I can't even deal with him!...that's why he sent me here,- 'To learn some damn respect'!" I looked at her and realised that I was talking too much about myself.
"But, Why do you hate him so much?..." I asked. I wonder if it's the same reason...then we will have alot in common.
"Because. ...He smokes..." I'm confused.
"What?...!"
"He smokes all the time! I tell him to stop! But he doesn't listen! It's like a joke to him! He keeps saying he'll quit! But whenever he does, he gives up the next day!" Yusari is pouring out in anger.
"Then I told that I gurantee that one day he'll die from cancer!.....And then, he got angry at me....and sent me here..."
I was surprised...She was really looking out for him...but in the end...it was to no avail..
"So, you do care for him?..."
"What?! No, I don't! .....I. ..Don't. ."
"Well, I do know that you don't hate him...Did you eventually answer his calls?..." She stayed quiet. She looked anxious, it was like finding the answer was like finding a needle in a haystack.
"He....I.....read his messages...They kept saying 'sorry'...I thought nothing of it...But when I called him back....He told me....that I was right...." Yusari's voice became hoarse, she was shivering and tears fell from her eyes.
"He went to the hospital....After having a heart attack....And he was diagnosed with lung cancer...."
I froze. Yusari broke down in tears. I just listened to my heart beating. So fast....I didn't what her to say anything, because...I want to speak...
"Yusari...."
"Huh?..."
"What I'm about to tell you....is nothing but the truth..." She swallowed her sadness, wiped her tears and listened silently.
"You're lying to yourself...." I put on a faint smile. And Yusari bursts into tears.
"You don't hate your father...you love him...You don't want to lose him...He's everything to you. He's always have been. He's always loved you...He loves you, Yusari!....Don't lie to yourself, Yusari...! He's your father....and you know it. Smoking was his choice....but your smile...determines his love...over his addiction....
So, stop crying, Yusari....And show your father....your beautiful smile..."
♠No one stays in this world forever...when the time arrives for your loved ones, remember to smile....Even in your darkest moments...Because your smile will eradicate the darkness from the beloved departing soul...So smile...Never lose faith....For that is...The greatest light of all....♠
The most bravest people....are those....Who can smile through unexplained pain....
"Thank you...Maehara..."
.
.
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✴
"I'm proud of you Mitsuru. ..."
"STOP!!! PLEASE!!!"
Mitsuru, on the floor, his hands on his head as he clenched his hair. Knees held up, in a brace-like position. His body was in total shock. His face devastated. His eyes full of tears. The room was blackened, it had the sense of terror in it.
The window of the room, shone artificial light from the Lampost outside. Pitter. Patter. The rain hit hard against the window. The wind howling aginst the trees.
Opposite him, Mahiru stood in the darkness, her face completely covered. She seemed to be holding something.
"Tell me the truth...Mitsuru..." Her voice was frightening.
"Did you go downstairs the other day?..." In her hand she was holding a little kitten. "If you don't tell me NOW!.....I'll kill it...."
She tightens her grip, squeezing the little creature.
"Mahiru! Please!! Don't!!!-"
"ANSWER THE F*CKING QUESTION!!!....Did you?..." From her fist, you could hear the kittens bones crackling, it's skin/bones squishing as it let out a tiny "Meow. .."
"I'm sorry! Mahiru! I-I-I-I didn't mean to!! Please!! Don't hurt him!!" Mitsuru stuttered in a panic.
"Okay..." She said in a unexpected soft voice.
"You said sorry....Fine..." Instead of releasing the kitten, she just loosened her grip. Mahiru fell backwards on the bed and sat down. She lay the weak kitten on her lap and started petting it.
"I forgive you, Mitsuru. ...It's fine...I...I was just worried...that's all..." She looked up at Mitsuru's devastating face and smiled. "Come here..."
In confusion, Mitsuru looked at his terrifying sister, he's never been so afraid of her, and his mind was pondering, wondering what to do. He put his hands down beside him, and slowly lifted himself up.
"Come on. ..It's ok" She said gently but...in a more sinister tone.
Mitsuru slowly and carefully took baby steps towards her. His legs were shaking, his body seemed weak and flimsy. When he reached a few steps away from her, Mahiru grabbed his arm, gently sliding her hand up and down his arm, giving him the chills. He was sweating, afraid of what his sister would say.
"I love you, Mitsuru. ...And you'll always love me, right?..." Slowly, he shook his head, indicating 'yes' But his expression felt unsure.
"Now, tell me...Why did you go downstairs?...." She smiled awaiting his answer. However, Mitsuru couldn't stand up for himself, he couldn't give her a defending answer.
After thinking around, he was afraid to say anything. He thought that it would be better if he said nothing at all.
"Tell me.." She said disappointedly.
"I..." he stuttered, he was scared that he wasn't able to control his voice. "Whatever the reason was...you got what you deserved...didn't you?..."
Those words sounded so cruel that it scared Mitsuru's heart. 'Why would she say that?...' He thought.
"Now sit on your knees....Let me teach you a lesson..." She directed him and he did exactly as he was told. Soon, after he bowed before her, Mahiru lifted the kitten up in her hands. Mitsuru looked at it, face to face, terrified and afraid if it was dead or alive.
"I can see it in your eyes...You love this thing...more than me..." Mitsuru's eyes widen, he looked at his despicable sister in utter shock.
"IS THAT RIGHT?!!!" Her fist tightened the creature, her strength from her anger eventually burst the kitten into bits.
Blood scattered everywhere. All was left of it...was only it's skin and fur opened up like a banana peel. Seconds after processing what had happened. A scream was✴
🔴heard, it seemed far away. It echoes across every inch of my mind. It was terrifying. It was disturbing. It was torture. I hadn't realised it then....but that scream.....
Was my own....
It may seem like it was nothing....But I didnt just witness a kitten, which I try to raise and protect, die...But I witness the scene of the most cruelest death, anyone or anything could experience.
Ever since that day, I always thought to myself...If I was ever gonna die....then I would rather die like this. In the hands of my sister... But even after she died, I would imagine her spirit come and torture me...kill me...in the exact same way...
I look back at the old messages, that was anonymously sent to me-"Have a happy life..."
She promised me that she would give it to me....However, I was stupid and weak...I couldn't even save him...If only I said that I was trying to give him food....then maybe he could've been alive. But I do not regret anything. I just regret writing this....
🔸1ST JUNE 2007🔸
🔵 I HATE AME!!THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!
You made my onee chan angry!! That's why she hurt you!! Don't ever come back!! I should have let you starve!! You don't deserve to be alive!! You're so weak!!!₩₩ou can't ₩₩₩thing rig₩₩!!!¡¡¡ YOU'RE WEAK!!₩₩₩EAK!!₩₩₩EA₩₩₩!!!●°○□□•▪■¡¡□○□°
I HATE YOU!!!¡¡•○□°○°●▪°□⊙▪●🔵
I was writing that to myself....🔴
To be continued. . .