**YUSARI AKABANE **
I've been waiting outside his door all day...He hasn't come out at all. I can tell that he hasn't been eating. But why is he doing this to himself?... Because he can't teach? No, because of his hand, right?..How did he break It? .. Though he wouldn't be too depressed over something like that, right?..He is a strong person. He can get through anything. But... when he smiled and said that he was 'fine' it felt fake. I can't really tell... But I did feel that there was something strange with the way that he responded, when I gave him Lunch the other day, he said "Thank you..." But... last night he said, "Yes...But I'm fine..." It's not like I was craving for his gratitude or attention...But if he's not grateful for the food I gave him, then he will most likely not eat it!...Mr Shintaru..what is going on?...
"Hey, you! What are you doing here?!" Oh crap! Mr Sawashiro caught me!
"Um... I was just giving Mr Shintaru his lunch... " I felt nervous, as I'm holding the tray in my hands and I'm embarrassed to say this right infront of his door. "What are you standing around for?! Go to your room!" I hate it when a teacher grounds you, for no special reason. But I was very curious about Mr Shintaru's hand, maybe I should ask. I grabbed the Principal's attention, by looking at him with curiosity that altered his eyes.
"Do you know what happened to Mr Shintaru's hand?.."
"Oh. He broke it. " His expression was blunt and careless, his tone of voice seemed stoned.
"H-how?..." I stuttered, afraid of the possibility of what he might say.
"It got trapped between a door"
"Oh, ok..."
"Now go " I followed his command and headed out with the tray in my hands, I was so astound by his reaction that I forgot that I was holding it the whole time. However, I didn't want to leave the scene completely, I just escaped far from his sight. I know something wrong is happening between these two, and I want to find out what....
**TOSHIRO SHINTARU **
I heard a strange conversation between the principal and Yusari. Now I know that he has some business with me. Just as I expected, the door has been pounding, continuously, by the principal. He has no room in his mind for patience.
"Toshiro! Open the door right now! " Damn it. I rushed over and opened the door.
"Are you still alive?.."
**YUSARI AKABANE **
He sounded very scornful as he insulted him. He looks like that he wants nothing else but to see him Suffer!
"What are you doing?..Don't you have a class to teach?"
"What are you talking about?...You said that I had the whole week off...or did you forget.." It's a clash of a game called..Blame game... I can't believe the principal is making stupid acuasations about this! Of course, I believe in Mr Shintaru's words, wholeheartedly.
"Oh...Right. ..What happened to your hand?... How did you break it ?. .. " He laughs mocking, bending down but looking up at Mr Shintaru's face. He's acting so sinister, it's like he's playing a role of a play...called 'Macbeth!'
"....Are you trying to piss me off on purpose...?" Mr Shintaru's eyes were full of anger, as he says rhetorically. Momentarily, his face burst into rage as the principal pulls a ridicule face.
"This was you! This was all your fault!-" He explodes. But then Mr Sawashiro interrupted with that stern face of his.
"What?...You think I KILLED her...?" Killed?!-Wait! who died?...
"SHUT UP!!!!...Don't you dare talk about your own daughter's life like it's nothing!!!" Mr Shintaru sounded as ravenous as a beast, the shockingly horrifying sound almost made my heart stop.
But who is Mr Sawashiro's daughter?! And why is Mr Shintaru so angry?!
"I don't have a daughter.." His monotoned voice left Mr Shintaru in shock.
"And I didn't kill her." I saw Mr Shintaru's lips parted, as to say something, but I couldn't comprehend what it was since I was very far. But I'm positive the principal figured it out and smiled as if it were a joke. What the hell is so funny?!
"By the way, that student that came by... she gave you something to eat last night...Did you eat it?" I was strangely profound that he would mention ME in something like this.
"Shut up... Get lost..."
"You should be grateful that I'm not kicking you out this instant, and that I pay you for doing absolutely nothing... But of course, you're never grateful are you?... I bet you haven't even touched your food..." I knew it! There must be a reason why Mr Shintaru is feeling depressed that he won't teach or eat...
"All because Yuki never satisfied you enough to so be grateful... That's why you let her DIE!!"
"SHUT UP!!!¡¡•●°●○°⊙•▪■°" His loud scream scared me. I don't understand what's going on! Did Mr Sawashiro kill her...or...did.. Mr Shintaru kill her?... No! It can't be him!... It can't be.. Nobody can get away with murder..
"This is all your fault! All of it! You KILLED her! You told her to kill herself!! You're just spectating everything, just to see how it'll play out!! You're complaining why I don't take responsibility for my students, when you broke my right hand, in order to stop me from teaching!... Look at your face! You're finding this humorous! You don't care who's suffered!... A man like you shouldn't be breathing... You're SICK!!" Mr Sawashiro smirks back, unafraid of his own words or actions...
"I'm not... I'm TWISTED...'Sick' makes it sound like there's a cure... There isn't. ..I didn't do all of this just to watch you suffer...I'm doing my job. I'm delivering karma to those who deserve it..." How could he?.. I suddenly felt a shiver crawling down my spine... My sweat increased all over my face.. This man is upmost terrifying..He could kill a person if he wanted to...Or maybe..he has...
"Don't over exert yourself. I want that hand healed by Friday" Mr Sawashiro walks away, with such confidence, it's like as if he's walking away from the battlefield, turning his back at his enemy, and has no doubt that he will fall...Because there's always Mr Shintaru that shall obey his every order, even if it meant losing his life...!
I hide from my eves dropping spot and carry the tray with me...I hear the door close, and footsteps began to fade away. I'm guessing that Mr Shintaru is very stressed out about all of this.
I can't believe what I just heard. At first, I was confused by what he meant by, "Do you think I KILLED her?.." He was referring to his daughter, which I later found out her name was Yuki and that Mr Shintaru also cares so much about her.
"You told her to kill herself!" That's the reason, what kind of father would tell their daughter to do That? But now I understand where this is going, she killed herself because of someone... But who?..
"I don't have a daughter. I didn't kill her. " If she's dead, then she's no longer is daughter?! That's wrong! There's obviously something wrong with him... But if the principal killed her then he wouldn't be here today, right? However...
It wasn't murder...She killed herself, so it would make sense that the police would brush this off as a suicide. .. but Mr Shintaru knew that he must've been the reason why, why didn't he say anything about it?... Was he afraid...?
"All because Yuki never satisfied you enough to be so grateful...That's why you let her die!..." What did he mean by 'satisfied ' and just who is the Principal's daughter? Did Mr Shintaru wanted something MORE from Yuki to be satisfied with her..? But this doesn't make sense... Did he let her die?. .
My head is swirling with endless questions, with no definitive answer! I know Mr Shintaru didn't do IT! He has suffered so much, he cares more about Yuki's death than her own FATHER! He has been abused by the principal! He needs help... he needs someone there for him.
**TOSHIRO SHINTARU **
Be angry. Be happy. Be sad. Don't let anyone stop you from how you feel. When the time comes, when you can't feel anything, then you've got nothing to do but to stand there and wait. Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing what to do is the worst kind of suffering.
Everything he said to me, made my blood coil, his lies...His trust and friendship was also a lie. I trusted him... Why? What good does it do... when you've given your trust to someone who can be loyal to you, What good does it do...If you were just going to betray them behind your back, the ones who were loyal to you...what's the point of giving them your trust like a present?...Why do you find so much pleasure from seeing someone suffer from despair?... That's why...ever since she died, I haven't trusted anyone else... Trust is like an eraser to me, the more you use it, the sooner you'll realise that it's disappeared right before your eyes!
I trusted him...and he took everything away from me!
I sat down, craoching over my body, hiding my real face...my mask is slipping away...No..is this the day...? Where I find who I really am?...
I hear tapping noises from my door...There's someone outside..I don't open it... Not like this. .At this point, if I lose my mask...I'll lose myself too...
The knocking continues, it continues rapidly. ..Who is it? What do they want?!
I open the door, my temper filled with anger. But as I opened the door, I felt something warm on my chest. It was a lovely feeling, one I've forgotten..but realised, that I was falling backwards, right on the floor. It was Yusari..she hugged me. She's still holding on to me! It's like she's latched herself onto me. I suddenly felt strange. The door is wide open, if anyone passes by, I'll be in big trouble!
"H-Hey! Yusari! W-what are you doing?! " I gently pushed away from my chest and I looked at her face...There are tears rolling down her soft pink cheeks...Why is she crying?...What did I do that made her cry like this?..
I hesitated to get up and close the door. "What's wrong?...What happened?... "
"Why do people suffer?..." She sobs, it was a strange question and I was surprised... I wanted to at least, answer her question... but then I stopped mumbling and thought for a moment...
"Just beacuse you've suffered, it doesn't mean you're weak...It means...You're strong, you've never given up and you've held on for so long..." It was ironic for me to say something like that, but I just wanted to help her, if she is suffering.
"Then... that means. .that you've been strong for too long..." She said quietly, then leaned her head back onto my chest. I was confused, why is she saying this?..Did she hear everything we just said?!
"What?..Are you talking about?..."
"You've been through so much! You've seen people, you cared so much for, but then they the disappeared infront of your eyes!"
"How do you know that?!.." She became quiet.
"Yusari..." I looked down at her as she remains to hold onto me so tight.
"Don't tell anyone...about this..."
"What happened?...Who's Yuki?...Who killed her? ..." It seems like she heard every word from that conversation, this eves dropping thing is starting to be a very bad habit for her...But I don't want to tell her the truth.
"Mr Shintaru. .. no matter how much you've suffered...Just remember..you have always been my reason to smile.."
I won't forget that...Thank you...I live..to teach...from the heart..not from the book... Like I promised..I'll do anything for my students...
"Yuki was my first and last lover...Because of me...I broke up with her and she...committed suicide... All because of me..."
"NO! It's not your fault!- "
"It doesn't matter now...Because of her death...I've learned something very important from it... I learned that regret is is greater than gratitude..."
"What?..." She looked up at me, very confused.
"Now, that I've learned what regret feels like.. I can be grateful for everything that I have... including you, Yusari... Thank you..And from here on, I'll always be grateful for everything I have, So that in the end... I won't regret it... " I smiled at her... This is what Yuki would've wanted...She wanted me to love and appreciate everything I have...
People say that you don't know what you have until it's lost....Truth is...you knew you had it...you just never thought that you'd lose it...