I was never a fan of tea parties or tea itself. The only liquid I had most in my life time, was beer. I knew my health was getting worse due to consuming too much alcohol in my system. But what to do?
I was such a broke person.
The sadness of my life, the loneliness, the agony and the pain, all of these made me hate my existence. I thought that it would be good if I were dead.
Compared to my previous life, I have a cute little son now, who needs me the most. A loyal maid who acts like my mother sometimes and a loyal knight who is ready to throw his life away for me. A caring father who would not think twice before killing a person who hurt had me and now I have a reliable friend like Kathryn.
What? You all are surprised that Timothy is not on the list?
Well, to me, that guy is a filthy trash. He's just a good for nothing husband who can't even use his brain to understand the scheming of his slutty concubines. Let alone the fact that one of them teamed up with his royal knight and they are planning to kill him.
Not like I care for his death, but he's the most powerful guy right now. To obtain the throne for Alex, I need his help.
Lady Kathryn began to show me around her garden. It was so pretty. My eyes are dazzling. There were so many flowers. Some of them are unknown to me. Actually most of the flowers were unknown to me. I really wanted to ask Kathryn the names of those flowers.
But I feared that she might think I'm not acting like myself. I mean the real Lucinda also had a beautiful garden at her home. So, she might have a good knowledge on various types of flowers. Alex and Rosalinda were playing on their own. We mothers didn't pry into their private time. Besides they need to be alone to form a bond.
" It's so beautiful. I just want to keep on gazing at them." My excitement was exposed like a child showing off her enthusiasm.
" Then how about we have a picnic here in my garden, next time? " With a glowing smile, Kathryn gave her suggestion. Her eyes were screaming " Say yes! Say yes!" which I felt clearly.
" Why the hell not!" Ooops! Looks like I just said something unnecessary. I hope she doesn't think about it much.
" Lucinda you are so energetic today. I'm glad to see this side of you."
" Uhh.. yeah... Well it's been a long, since I met you and had such a great time." I replied with a chuckle.
" What are you planning now then? As much I heard from you, those ladies are frightening. They can do anything to you." The topic changed all of a sudden. I wasn't really thinking about it after touring the fairy tale like garden.
Ironically my only motive was to get the help from Kathryn in order to take revenge on Eleanor and the other concubines.
" Yeah I know. I have already made peace with His highness. He seems to believe in me again as I exposed the wrongful deeds of those ladies. For now I have to continue getting close to His Highness."
" There a party next week. You will attending it right?"
" Of course I will. How can I ditch such an opportunity?" Shit! I talked like a rustic guy. My guard is falling apart since I am having heart to heart conversation with Kathryn.
" I like the way you speak. It's so funny."
" Sorry for being rude." Royalty doesn't speak like that way. Therefore I have to be careful to grip on my words.
" No,no I won't mind it. Please continue to speak as you wish." She giggled and I felt that I'm being laughed on.
It was about the time for our return. We went to pick the kids. When we reached there, I saw my cute Alex. He was giving a bouquet of flowers to Rosalinda, which he probably plucked from the garden. Both me and Kathryn were overjoyed with the wholesome moment.
Ahhhhh! I can't take all this cuteness.
" Mommy!" As his eyes fell on me, Alex run at me, grabbing my lower body tightly.
" Did you had fun?"
" Yes!"
" Good. But sadly we have to go now. Say goodbye to your friend." Poor little Alex. His face shrunken with the sad news. The bright gleaming eyes are dull now. He went to Rosalinda and said something in her ear.
Oh my! Kids grow up so fast. Can't believe he's hiding it from his mother.
I picked up Alex and went inside the Carriage. Kathryn's daughter Rosalinda was also upset to see her new friend leave.
" Take care Lucinda. Please come to see my again."
" I'm already seeing you in the party. Don't be late." Again I did a mistake. My old habits are just so hard to hide today. I'm not supposed to say her to not to be late.
" I will make sure to be in time." Thank god Kathryn didn't payed much attention to my speaking. Or else I'll be in a trouble.
The coachman started the carriage and we left their estate. Alex was still looking down. I think this is first time when he met someone at his own age. Since he stayed in the palace,he never had the opportunity to meet other children.
" Why are you sad dear?" I can't help but ask him. Although I knew the reason very well. Kids gets upset easily. They don't know the hardships of life yet. Until then, I will keep him away from all the troubles. That's why I'm a mother.
" I miss her mommy." He replied me in a tiny voice, almost like a whisper.
" You miss her? Aw! What to do then? Hmm.... let mommy think of a solution." It may seem so childish but I think I'll raise my child as he should be. I won't kill his innocence. He needs to enjoy his childhood rather than being trampled by the court life and royal throne.
" A solution?" With curiosity he asked.
" Yes! I found one!"
" What it is? What it is? Tell me! Tell me!" Little Alex was restless as he wanted to hear my answer. His eyes were gleaming again like stars.
" If you marry Rosalinda, she will always stay with you. Isn't that a good idea?"
" Yay! Mommy is a genius!" I can't believe my son is calling me a genius for such thing. Up until now, I have never heard it from someone. I remember I was good in math, back in those days when I could attend the school.
My home room teacher loved me. She even knew about the abusing atmosphere I was facing at home. If only I had asked her for help. If only I had the courage to talk about my situation with her.
The coward me had no courage left to face the torture any longer. I was so frightened that I ran away from my home. Maybe if I had contacted her and asked for help, my life would turn out to be good.
Who knows? At least I can't gain anything by regretting.
" After all I'm your mommy. So don't be sad now. Grow up soon, then ask her father for marriage."
" I have to grow up?" Such innocence is enough to make my sugar level high. How can he be so cute?
" Mhhm." I tried to hide my laughter after all I don't want my son to feel that I'm mocking him or laughing at his childish words. That would make him hate me.
" Can't I do it now?" No baby you can't. Although in this era, people can get married at the age of twelve. I don't think I should let Alex get married now.
He is still young. He needs to learn about life and responsibilities. There's also a possibility where Alex may stop liking Rosalinda. It can't be decided now. I won't force him in any political marriage at all. He will pick his own wife.
" No dear. You have to become a strong man and a good man. So that you can protect her." It's a mother's job to educate their children about morals of life. The early, the better. I don't want him to become a jerk in the future who hurts people.
" Like father?" I was instantly disgusted to hear that person's name. Please! That guy comes no where to being a good man. A fucking asshole. That's all he is.
" Yes. But you will also have to love her only. A good man doesn't look for other woman when he has someone already. You need to respect women and you need to be gentle towards them. Will you do that Alex? "
" Of course mommy!"
" Promise me."
" I promise you. I won't ever hurt women I will always respect them."
" Mommy is so proud of you Alex. Mommy loves you a lot." I stretched out my arm to hug my little baby. He's so damn adorable. God! I'm so grateful for having a cute son like him.
The ride stopped. I guess we have reached our destination. The door opened wide, revealing an unexpected person. Timothy was standing there, with a meek smile on his face.
Excuse me? But who let this dipshit in?
I can't tell if he's happy or being arrogant or sly. His expressions are hard to read. Why the hell I have to see him now? I'm super exhausted and tired. I can't keep up pretending to be his lovey diver wife. Ugh! Someone save me!
" Father!" Alex jumped from the carriage straight to Timothy.
" Alex be careful!" I exclaimed in fear. What if Timothy gets angry with such behaviour?
" It's all right." Timothy tried to assure me. It was surprisingly odd. The sudden change of heart.
Although he was being reasonable these days. The warm fatherly side of him, which was locked up somewhere, finally he made up his mind on showing those feelings. Maybe he really wants to show his love and affection to Alex. I hope that's true. Because Alex also wants his father's love.
~ to be continued