The familiar intro of a song jolted me out of my sleep. I strained to open my eyes, but it was so heavy. I almost drifted back to sleep when the English lyrics came through. After a line, I became certain of it. It was ONE OK ROCK's All Mine which Kawashita set as my ringtone for him. I wasn't sure if he knew the meaning of the song because it was too sweet for 'us' but I didn't protest. After all, it was just a song. It meant nothing or that was I kept telling myself, so I wouldn't get swayed.
All Mine became more incessant. I felt blindly for my phone under the covers and answered it without thinking twice, slurring a hello, thinking then that it must be a dream. I bolt up straight when I heard his voice firm, clear, and slightly offbeat.
I glanced up at the wall clock and cleared my throat. It was 8:07. "What's up?"
"Did I wake you?" he asked and continued when I didn't answer. "Are you free for the rest of the break?"
I straightened, suddenly awake. "Hmm. Why?"
There was a pause. "My brother said to invite you. He wants to meet you. He accidentally found out that I'm…dating again." Another pause. Kawashita cleared his throat. "If you don't mind, I can show you around in your stay here."
I distanced my phone, pinched myself in the arm, and groaned voiceless. Rubbing my arm, I opened my mouth to reply but only uh came out.
"My brother said he'll pay for your train fare," he added, his tone turning upbeat.
In the silent living room of Tanaka-senpai with only a hum of appliances and soft snores, I said yes before the implications of it truly sunk in. We bid goodbye and ended the call. I lay back and yawned, stretching. Excitement started slow. Warmth came second until I felt my heartbeat spiked. My Christmas was turning around.
In a hurry, I stepped over Tachibana-senpai on the futon beside mine. I shook Kazuya awake who was asleep on the sofa while Tanaka-senpai was asleep on the futon below. Kazuya's eyes were still closed as he yawned.
I couldn't wait so I gave him a run down even though I wasn't sure he heard me. After thanking him, I rushed home to pack my bags.
"I'm going to Hakone," I sang.
***
The giddiness earlier had fad into a jittery feeling. My stomach felt strangely queasy. Maybe it was due to my minimal breakfast—only a rice ball or excessive caffeine—two cans of coffee—three now.
Kawashita sent me directions, the online reserved ticket, the train I should take, the station I should get off and change through just in time I finished packing. I headed out then, smiling, thrilled for a free trip out of Tokyo which I hadn't done for almost two years. My steps had a spring on it, relieved I wouldn't be spending the break and New Year's alone.
But all of that faded into a blur of anxiety as I gnawed on my second box of strawberry flavored Pocky. I gazed at my wristwatch. It was already past lunchtime. Maybe I should have bought a box bento at the station or maybe this was a bad idea.
Kawashita and I weren't going to be alone. He mentioned his brother and a family business he had to help out. I couldn't believe it only dawned on me halfway through that I was going to meet his family, and we were not even dating for real. What exactly did I get myself into?
This guy really knew how to make me do things I don't normally do, and he didn't know what power he had over me. All I could see earlier was him and the idea of spending more time with him. I drew out a breath and glanced outside. At least I had a window seat. At least I thought of bringing a gift.
Jitters still danced through my body when I stepped out of the train. The crowd and air were thinner compared to Shinjuku Sation. But scanning the area twice, I still didn't spot Kawashita. I mentally check my money and toyed with the idea of going back. With a shake of my head, I stopped. I wasn't that bad.
Resigned, I frowned and pulled out my cellphone when a hand tapped my back. The smile that lit up my face was unprecedented when I came face to face with Kawashita. Why did I ever think of going back? All anxiety was worth it seeing the way his smile reached his ears. A portion of my tension eased as warmth spread throughout my body, elation singing through. Hunger finally rolled in.