"Monika dear... There is someone who wishes to talk to you..." said Brigadier Shahi as we started walking towards the crowd. One of the people dressed in a saree stepped out.
As we neared the crowd, Mr. Shahi put me down on the ground, "Shabnam Masi, I believe you wanted to talk to her." Brigadier Shahi replied.
The lady stepped forward, took out a necklace she was wearing and touched it on her forehead, and started chanting something. After she was done chanting, she replied: "Beta, please show me your hand."
As I forwarded my right hand she replied: "You should never accept a gift from a Kinnar with your right hand, please extend your left hand."
I was scared but the presence of the officers in uniform gave me the courage to hold my ground and I held out my left hand. She put the necklace on my hand and replied, "I am one of the Guru's of the Kinnar (transgender) community in Purulia. Please accept this necklace as a token of blessing from us."
I was in a dilemma whether I should accept the gift, and I turned back to look at my mom for approval. She nodded her consent. As I took the necklace from her, I replied "Thankyou masi."
She smiled in her weird way and replied "You are welcome Bacha," and she hovered both her hand above my head without touching and replied "I cannot touch you. My spiritual vow forbids me to touch a female child. However, this necklace" pointing towards the necklace she placed on my hand, "is blessed by the powers bestowed in me by our Kul-Devi Bahuchara Mata. You are a reincarnation of Maa Manasa and it's our grand duty to protect you from harm."
All of a sudden things took a strange and creepy turn, the lady fell to her knees, folded her hands together and started wailing and continued "Maa, please forgive us for letting you suffer. You have sacrificed 7 years of your life protecting someone who was not even related to you by blood. You have given everything for someone who was being forced to be one of us, without thinking of the consequences, and we were not able to keep an eye on you or protect you for even 2 days." As the lady sat on her knees, I saw all the other members repeat the same thing but they didn't utter a single word.
It was an embarrassing situation but everyone present there didn't react to it. Not even my Mom, Miss Sengupta or Brigadier Shahi. It felt like they were waiting for my response. I took a step forward and touched the hands of that lady, and abruptly she moved her hand back in shock. "Masi, I don't blame you for anything," I replied, "I am a little girl, you should not ask forgiveness from me. And please don't call me Maa. I am only a child."
The lady looked up, at my face and said "You are as noble as Mata Bahuchara. It's my promise our community will do everything to punish those people responsible for ruining your innocent friend's life."
She stood up and as she turned her back, another lady came towards me and said, "Bacha, there is a saying 'The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.' 6 years ago, your friend did the noblest thing for one of our Gurus, for which our community is and always will be grateful to her."
Even though Abhinu was a boy, but I had a strange feeling that they still consider him to be one of them and so they were addressing him as a woman.
"What did Abhinu do?" I asked.
"Your mom knows all about it." she bent down a little, placed her hands on her knees, looked straight into my eyes and continued "Geeta is a savior of our community. She is an incarnation of Lord Krishna."
She kept saying something, but my head was feeling so heavy that I couldn't hear the rest of the conversation. All I could see was dad and Sagar sir coming out of the house, dragging Rahat by a rope used to tie up his hands. It looked like Dad and Sagar sir might have beaten him up real bad considering the way they were dragging him along. "Masi, we are keeping our part of the bargain."
I saw a group of people coming forward and catching hold of Rahat. He kept begging "Dada, please arrest me or kill me like my friends but don't give me to them." I could feel that all the people present had turned a deaf ear to his pleas. I knew dad was in no mood to forgive him for what he did to Abhinu with his friends that night.
He shook hands with Shabnam masi and said: "Remember our deal?"
"Thank you for keeping your promise. You don't have to worry about anything fauji. This place will be clean as if nothing had happened." replied Shabnam Masi.
Shabnam Masi started telling something to papa, but my head was so heavy that I didn't hear what they were talking about and fainted. I vaguely remember someone catching me and someone shouting to take me away from there before everything went blank.
I was not sure how long I had been unconscious but when I woke up and opened my eyes, I felt a sharp pain on the back of my left hand. As I struggled to raise my hand, I saw an I.V. Cannula pinned to my hand, which was connected to a drip hanging on the bedstand. I reckoned I was lying in a hospital bed.
To my left, there was a curtain that was halfway pulled through. By the looks of it, I was in a double occupancy room. As mom saw me open my eyes she stood up and touched my forehead "Baby... you are awake."
"Why am I here?"
"Honey you fainted because of dehydration and starvation. You were very weak. Doctors have given you an intravenous drip to bring your vitamins and minerals in control. You should be able to go home once you get your strength back." she paused for a while and continued, "There is someone who is eagerly waiting to meet you. I will go and bring them in."
As mom left the room, a thought invaded my mind. I fainted because I didn't have food for just 2 days. Abhinu has been suffering for 7 years and I remember they have punished him quite a lot and most of the time the punishment was starving him for a few days. The night when Abhinu gave his journals to Joe, he didn't have food for at least 4 days and he still pulled himself through. I could feel how strong my Abhinu is.
Suddenly a group of people entered the room. They were all familiar faces. Mom, Aunty Sengupta, Dad, Brigadier Shahi, Sagar Sir, J.P. Sir, and Vikash Dada. Most of the persons I knew were in the room however, Koushik dada was missing. As I was browsing through the faces, Dad suddenly asked me "Is something bothering you sweetheart?"
"Where is Koushik dada? He has not come to see me. Is he alright?"
Dad came and sat next to me, gently pressed my right hand and replied: "Sweety, brace yourself. I have some bad news."
The phrase 'bad news' made me wonder if Koushik dada was alright, as he continued "At the time you fainted, a group of men stormed into our house with the intention of kidnapping you so that they can get leverage by striking a deal with us to get Abhinu in exchange for your freedom."
"Koushik tried everything he could, to protect you. He single-handedly fought the 6 of them and was able to decapitate 2 of them with his Hengdang. However, when Rahat and his men found that he was unstoppable, they emptied 3 rounds of bullets into him. As he fell helplessly on the floor, the goons took you away."
I couldn't believe what I just heard, Dada was right in asserting that I would be safe with Koushik dada around. Dad continued "He is among the last surviving members of one of the ancient warrior clans of Axom known as Chao-Phrung-Mung. They were the direct descendants of Lasham Burhagohain, one of the earliest generals and one of the greatest strategists, second only to Atan Burhagohain of the Ahom kingdom."
I was in no mood to listen to the history of Koushik dada's bloodline and decided to stop dad amidst his rant and asked "But dad, where is Koushik dada? Is he alright?"
Suddenly, everyone smiled at my words and Uncle Shahi responded to my concerned questions, "Do you think warriors like him would give up so easily? Why don't you ask him yourself?" and then suddenly they pulled the curtain, which was used as a barricade to block the view of whoever was next to me. It was Koushik dada who was lying next to my bed.
"Koushik is currently unconscious but he will recover. Doctors have confirmed that he is out of danger."
I was happy to know Koushik dada was alright. As I was about to get off the bed to approach him, a doctor with one of the staff nurses entered the room.
"I need to examine the child. All of you have to leave the room," the doctor asked.
As everyone was leaving the room my mom shouted: "You guys leave the room, I am not letting my baby out of sight."
Dad was about to open his mouth to say something, I saw mom interrupting him and said in a sterned voice: "JAIRUS, I AM NOT… LEAVING MY BABY ALONE."
The doctor suddenly interrupted their conversation and replied "It's ok Mrs. Christopher, you can stay but the rest of you please leave." she paused and started waving her hand in the air and finally pointed it towards the door.
Everyone left the room except Mom and then the doctor smiled at me, picked up the stethoscope, and placed it on her ear and continued "I hope you are feeling better?"
I smiled back at her and replied "I... I am fine sir..."
"That's good," she replied and then held the resonator and started pressing it to my chest. "Can you please try taking a deep breath."
I kept breathing and finally, she caught hold of my right hand and pressed to feel the pulse.
She took a deep breath, looked at mom and said "Mrs. Christopher, I think you can take her home now. Her vitals seem to be normal." She paused once again and continued "I will ask someone to get the paperwork done."
She then looked at his assistant and said: "Get the I.V. drip off her and make sure to cover and treat her wounds." With these final words, the doctor left the room.
The nurse took out a roll of cotton and softly pulled out the needle which was inserted in my hand. He carefully applied some medicine on my hand, placed the cotton on it and covered it with a bandage. He didn't say a single word and promptly left the room once he was done.
I got off the bed, in my hospital robe, walked towards Koushik dada's bed. He was still unconscious, with bruise marks over his forehead and had an oxygen mask covering his nose and mouth. He was not wearing any clothes and a white bandage covered his chest in the places where they had shot him. He looked so fragile but his face still had the calmness of a hero ready to rise again.
I went and touched his hand. It was difficult for me to see him in this ghastly condition, and worst of all when I know that I was the very reason behind his condition, I could only look at his face and fathom the worse consequences which Koushik dada's bravery has averted but at the great cost of his suffering.
As I kept looking at him dad entered the room, he had a bundle of papers in his hands. "Aki, the paperwork is done." He looked at me and replied "Don't worry sweety, everything will be alright. There are 2 men posted outside this room all the time, they will be here till he gets better or till Mr. Banerjee is brought to justice."
I was relieved to know that someone will be keeping a watchful eye on Koushik dada. Mom suddenly interrupted, "Monika, time to get you changed." I approached mom obediently and dad pulled the curtain all the way and said "I will be waiting outside in the car. Come down once you are ready." and he left the room.
Mom helped me get undressed from the robe to my regular casual dress. It took me around 20 minutes or so and finally left the room with mom holding my hand. As I was leaving the room a couple of doctors approached me and gifted me with a bouquet.
I smiled and said, "Thank you, sir."
"You are welcome dear…" the doctors replied. They shook my hand and left the room.
We started making our way towards the exit and then saw a familiar sight. It was dad's silver Esteem car approach the entrance. Dad was already seated on the front seat. Mom and I went and sat at the back seat. As I was getting comfortable, I saw a familiar face. It was Sonjoy dada. He was at our house the other night.
He was sitting in the driver seat. He turned around to look back and asked: "Hi dear, remember me? Hope you are feeling better?"
I smiled at him and replied "I am fine dada. How are you?"
"I am good dear."
Before dada could say another word, dad interrupted: "Let's not waste any more time and get back home."
Sonjoy dada started the car. As we came out of the hospital, I saw him taking a left turn and crossing over Nepal dada's tea shop. It is one of the oldest shops in Purulia.
About 5 minutes of driving and I could sense they were taking a different route than home.
Dad turned around, looked at me and said "You might be wondering that we have taken a different route. We are not going back home. We need to take you somewhere safe till we find that Banerjee."
Sonjoy dada drove around for more than 30 minutes and finally, we stopped near a dilapidated building which looked like a dilapidated temple. Right next to it was a muddy road which where we drove for another 10 minutes. Finally, we reached near an old castle surrounded by huge walls around it. As we stepped towards the entrance, I saw a lot of green camouflaged tents around the fort. There were 3 tents which were comparatively larger than the rest of them. They were placed separately in a corner of the fort.
There were lots of men in uniform. By the looks of it, I deduced that we were in an Army Camp.
Dad interrupted my observation, "Baby, this is the place I was talking about." pointing his fingers towards the camp "This is one of the command posts of 42nd Rashtriya Rifles Assam Regiment. One of the most dangerous army battalion of the world, and is currently one of the safest places for you."
I saw a man coming out from one of the bigger tents. It was Brigadier Shahi who was accompanied by Captain Sagar.
As they approached us he looked at dad and said "Hello Commander!!!" and shook his hands.
Dad reciprocated by replying "Hello Brigadier!!!"
Capt. Sagar stepped forward and said "Commander…" pointing towards one of the tents which was next to the Brigadier's and continued "that tent is for you and your family."
Brigadier Shahi replied "Remember Commander… We are doing this for the sake of the Major. Once your son is reunited with you and Mr. N.N. hands over the custody of that fellow Miss Sengupta was talking about earlier, Our job I done."
"Thanks a lot sir. I know as a regular army this doesn't comes under your jurisdiction, but right now this was the only safest place I could think of. Had I been posted around the coast, I would have taken them to INS Baaz." replied dad.
I saw Brigadier Shahi smiled and replied, "That's fine Commander. To tell you the truth, No offence but I don't even like to entertain you, Special Service guys. Let's stick to what we have agreed upon."
Did my dad works for the government?
Is he some kind of a James bond?
Why is Brigadier Shahi calling him Commander?
My thoughts were interrupted by Brigadier Shahi's next statement "I think your daughter needs some answers Commander. Why don't you go in and settle down? One of the orderlies will be there with you shortly."
As we went inside the tent, I found that it had 2 rooms in it, there was a large bed placed on one of the rooms, in one corner there was a folding table lying with 3 chairs placed next to it. There was nothing much fancy inside it. Suddenly dad told me "Honey, lunch will be served in a short while, why don't you take some rest in the meantime."
I was so hungry that I didn't feel like taking any rest and replied: "It's ok dad, I will have lunch and then take some rest."
Dad smiled and replied "As you wish." and went and sat on one of the folding chairs and started to read something which was lying on the table.
I looked at mom and said "Mom, can I ask you something?"
"Yes... tell me, honey... what's bothering you...?" Mom replied.
"Remember those people who were dressed up as women," I asked
"Yes, what about it." asked mom
"They said something about a guru and that they owed their life to Abhinu. When I asked them about it they told me that you know about it."
"Hmmm..." she took a breath and continued "For that, I think you need to read a few pages out of Abhinu's journal."
I saw her opening the trunk and take out a bunch of papers. She gave me a few pages out of it. I nearly forgot how exhausted I was and decided to go ahead and read the entries.
9th July 1994
It has been 2 weeks now since we shifted to Purulia. I can't complain much. Either I am getting used to my fate, or things are getting a little better. I still live as a girl, but the rules set by uncle don't shackle me anymore. Without those stringent rules, my life has become much better. Once a week I am even allowed to step out of the house into the compound.
Aunty insists on this routine, maintaining she is doing this to keep me healthy. I am not allowed to venture out alone and am always accompanied by someone during these walks and never outside the gate premises. Aunty had warned me that all these privileges would be revoked and my life would return to the miserable state as was before, if I failed to adhere to her whims and rules and I strayed. Although her threats scared me, I was willing to follow her rules to have the moderate freedom I am entitled to now.
Recently I have been feeling a few physical changes in my body. I keep getting tired very easily, and my chest has started to bulge out into the shape of a breast. The hair on my chest and legs has stopped growing and I have started getting skinnier. My physical looks have started to appear more girly.
All these have started since the day I started to have back pains and doctors told me that I had a kidney infection and the only way to get well is to get the surgery done. I have been prescribed to take a medicine called TESTOPEL my whole life if I wanted to live. Due to these changes, my body aches a lot, and most of the time I have a temperature. The doctor tells me that I will be having this problem until my body starts to adapt to the new changes.
There is something else that the doctor did during the surgery. I am ashamed to even write it here, what he did to me. Perhaps one day, when I will think of better words, I will write it down.
I should be well in a few months. To tell you the truth, I want to grow up, and Monika had promised me that one day she is going to have the dance we couldn't have on the day of the party. I just hope that day comes soon. I hate pretending to be someone else, but if this is my destiny then I guess it would be good for me to surrender to my fate. Aunty and my sisters are in Kolkata right now and I am just idling away in the house.
10th July 1994
An incident happened today and I am proud of it. It feels wonderful without uncle or Rahat kaka lurking around. I was idling in my room when my concentration was disturbed by a commotion outside our house. I peeped through the window to check and came to know that there has been an accident. A few minutes later someone rang the doorbell. Aunty warning against opening the door to strangers echoed in my head, but the constant ringing of the bell irritated me and I opened the door. As I opened the door, I saw a group of people dressed in sarees. They were from the transsexual community. One of them was bleeding and asked me for help. Without giving a second thought I got the first aid and cleaned the wounds, applied some antiseptic and bandaged them. That person was grateful for what I did and touched my forehead to bless me.
Her face became pale as she touched me and then asked if I am really a girl or I am a boy dressed as a girl. I tried to convince them that I am a girl but they would not believe me and kept insisting. I was in no mood to tell them anything, besides after so many failed attempts at making strangers believe in my truth, I have given up all hope and efforts. However, their constant coercing made me finally blurt out the truth. She asked me if I want to go with them and I declined the offer. The lady wrote a number on a piece of paper 03252-562397 and said no matter how many times I require help, she will always help me. I would need to call the number and ask for Shabnam Masi and tell them your name.
They said that I am as noble as Lord Krishna and not every person would step forward to help a kinnar. Saying this they left, but not before promising that they are going to make my family's life miserable in Purulia unless they treat me better.
**** Wow Abhinu is brave. Even though he knows the outcome of what might happen to him when Aamaya di would come to know about this, he still came forward to help someone he barely knew. I mean for that matter, we would think 10 times before stepping out to help a transgender. I just hope they didn't do anything nasty to him once they came to know about it.****
As I was about to read the next entry, someone entered our tent. "Sir, the food is ready. You can come over" saying this he left.
I decided to read the remaining entries after I had my food and walked to the officer's mess to have lunch.
TO BE CONTINUED...