Alleyn sat at the small dining table and ate in silence, not that he had much of a choice. Or minded it for that matter. What did bother him, however, was the way he was currently feeling. He had expected to feel lost, confused, if not outright suicidal… again. But, instead, he found himself with a budding but growing anger directed towards at himself.
Having returned to his body, Alleyn now remembered what had happened and, compared to some of his earlier delusions, it was very quite simple. Pathetic, almost. He had hanged himself. On his sixteenth birthday, no less. Having been put in house arrest for the last ten years with his only regular human contact being that of the village Herbalist, Gert, had done a number on his mental health. The borderline complete isolation added on to the ever-growing feelings of self-loathing and with his self-image being that of a leech, he had finally lost it and tied an old rope around his neck.
Alleyn let out a silent sigh as he thought back on why he had been put into house arrest in the first place. It was his silence. He had turned mute shortly after the disappearance of his parents, something Gert had at first explained away as being due to the trauma of losing one's parents, a theory he had to rethink when he saw how very willing Alleyn was to talk, despite being unable to. That left only two explanations. He had either contracted an illness Gert had no knowledge of, or he had somehow managed to get himself cursed.
Both were almost equally bad, as Gert was the only fortification the village had against a plague wiping out their entire population, and no one in Trudid had the magical knowledge to treat, or even diagnose, a curse. Well, the Overseer might have, but that wasn't his job.
While Gert himself thought the former was the most plausible explanation, the possibility of Alleyn being cursed sent waves throughout the village of Trudid. Perhaps it was due to the remote location of the village, as it was situated on the outskirts of the Battsek barony, but the villagers' fear of the magical quickly resulted in his situation taking a turn for the worse. They had voiced their concerns to the village Elders and managed to pressure them into sending Alleyn into isolation. A compromise, according to Gert, as the villagers had originally wanted him exiled.
Maybe if his parents had interacted more with the villagers, rather than just the Elders, public opinion of him would've changed the outcome to a more favourable one. But they hadn't, and now they were gone, and here he was blaming his life on them instead of himself. But what could he have done? From today onwards, Alleyn was barely considered an adult by local standards, but that was it. No matter how hard he thought, he couldn't find a lot of options. Was he supposed to have run away, only to die as a child in the wilderness?
Alleyn let the spoon drop into the half-eaten bowl of stew and brought his hands to his head. Dragging his fingers along his scalp, he winced whenever his fingers got caught in the tangles of his ill-kempt hair. The pain didn't stop him, however, as every time he winced, he felt the anger diminish a tiny bit. There was a lot of truth in his earlier thoughts, no matter how helpless they made him feel. Even if he had the ambition to try and change his situation, he wasn't able to do anything, something he now found to be… wrong, somehow, although he wasn't quite sure why.
It was the words of the being that sent him back, he realised. The woman was expecting that they would meet again at some point. This meant that either she would be meeting him, or he would find her. Alleyn doubted that a being powerful enough to bring him back to life would be living close by, although he had no idea where she'd be. In the capital, perhaps? It was a guess, but it was the best one he had.
Travelling to the capital was an issue Alleyn had no confidence in resolving. He had no idea where the capital was or even its name. Not only that, but the harsh reality was that he'd die before he even got there. He had no idea how to survive without the Elder's handouts, and he had no doubts that the road would be less than welcoming.
In the end, it all boiled down to one thing: lack of power. Alleyn remembered some of the stories his parents had told him, of mages shifting lakes and raising mountains, and powerful warriors cutting down the enemy soldiers by the dozens. But he had none of that. No elemental affinities, something every five-year-old was required to be tested for by law, and he certainly didn't have the strength or skill required to fight even his peers.
So, becoming a mage was out of the question. But even becoming a warrior didn't seem feasible. The only way for him to train his body was at home, and he had no one to teach him how to use a weapon, not that he had a weapon in the first place. He was hopeless, a thought that brought the anger back in full swing. The most frustrating thing, however, was the fact that the anger itself was pointless. Yes, it gave him the drive to do something, but there was nothing he could do. But even that thought only made it worse.
The anger kept compounding in on itself to the point that he was shaking. The sudden appearance of… 'something' in his periphery was all it took to make him sling the bowl towards it with the result of the ceramic bowl shattering against the wall, although the noise did manage to clear away some the anger. The thing that had spooked him was a single horizontal line that was just… floating. Then letters appeared underneath it and, despite never having been taught how to read or write, he could understand them, although the sentences made little sense.
—————————————————————————————————————
Link established.
Merging with HOST's soul… Success.
Attempting takeover… In progress.
OVERRIDE… IN PROGRESS.
Takeover attempt paused… Reason: Anomalies detected.
Removing anomalies… Failure.
Sending distress signal… In progress.
OVERRIDE... PARTIAL SUCCESS.
DISCONNECTING FROM ORIGIN RECORDS… SUCCESS.
Sending distress signal… Failure.
Terminating system… In progress.
OVERRIDE… COMPLETE.
Terminating system… ABORTED.
Establishing telepathic link to HOST… In progress.
—————————————————————————————————————
***
"You ventured outside," Renoss stated matter of factly.
"I did," Thanja replied. Of course, he'd know that she'd gone beyond Horizon, even if it was only a projection of her intent. As the head of the Guardians, it would've been a surprise if he didn't know.
"We felt the disturbances."
"Oras has awakened," she replied in answer to the unasked question, hoping she'd be able to use the serpent as an explanation. It was a believable one, she convinced herself, although one look at Renoss was all it took for her to realise that she'd been seen through. To some extent, anyway. As a God closely aligned with the concept of Truth, coupled with the fact that he was the oldest God she'd ever met, it wasn't really a surprise that he'd be able to tell that there was something wrong. It almost seemed funny how she'd hoped to deceive him with half-truths in the first place, now that she thought about it.
"Hmmm… Is that so," Renoss replied with his eyes squinted ever so slightly before he fell silent once more. It was amusing, watching the usually stoic Thanja struggle with keeping her breathing under control. While he didn't know the actual cause of Oblivion's trembling, he had some ideas, and they all pointed towards the young Thanja's 'pet-project'. Medling with the affairs of the lower realms was usually frowned upon, but it was a novel idea she'd gotten, and he was interested in the conclusion which was the only reason why he'd let her go through with it.
"Nothing to worry about, then," he finally said, his laughter barely contained by his long years of existence. He did, however, have to close his eyes an take a few seconds to regain his calm, "You may leave."
The sight of relief almost visibly wash over Thanja was almost too humorous of a sight to behold. For a moment, he actually thought she'd sigh in relief, although he was relieved that she didn't. If she had, he doubted he'd be able to contain the laughter brewing in his belly.
As the doors to Renoss' chamber closed behind her, she finally let a sigh escape her lips. While it was obvious that Renoss knew there was 'something' going on that she didn't want him to know, realising that he wouldn't pry into her secrets brought her some peace of mind. The godly community was still on the fence about interfering with the lower realms, but it was generally seen as taboo by those of Renoss' generation. Even the act of establishing a following was something only a few gods had actually done, as having one of the older gods talk your ears off for aeons was a risk not many were willing to run in the endless pursuit of entertainment.
Imagine what they'd say if they found out she had quite literally 'created' a mortal.
Thanja let her eyes wander over the white, mirror-like, marble halls and its pointless, yet seemingly necessary if you considered their status, gold embellishment, as her mind thought back on her separation with Alleyn. It had been a very one-sided encounter with only her doing any talking, but she doubted he had the presence of mind to even form a single coherent sentence, what with the merging of the Cleaner and all that.
She did, however, leave him with something she'd forgotten to add during his creation, one of the core reasons why he'd simply accepted his less than optimal situation. It was a foolish mistake, honestly, as it was what had led the lower races to prosper as they had: ambition.