Chanyeol watched nervously as the yellow light flashed gently before going solid red. His hand clutched the handle of his bag tightly as he stared out the side of the bus. He wasn't looking at anything really. Everything whirled past him a cacophony of blue, green and gray and none of it held his attention at all. Instead, he heard the sound of his heart in his ears and his mind wandered to the event that was less than four hours away.
'Would he remember ..???' Chanyeol wanted to think that he would. Wanted to hope. He wanted that moment to be special.
But he also knew the reality. The reality was that there were millions of people wishing the same thing. Millions just wishing they could be on someone else's mind too.
The sound of music gently spilling from his earphones into his ears, reminded him as the world faded away just what it was that had made such a strong connection for him.
Why he needed to see Baekhyun again.
***
["Play! I don't know why I have to try so hard to get you to study. I invested everything because you said you wanted that stupid guitar... You! You are too much. I can't even look at you!"
"Aiooo, don't be so hard on him. It has only been a year. He loves that thing... It isn't a waste."
"Play the damn thing or I'll break it!"
"His father... it was so soon... Let him be."
"You won't touch the stupid thing! But if you hadn't even insisted on having it, we wouldn't even be in this mess. Get out! GET OUT! I DON'T HAVE A SON LIKE YOU!"
His mother's angry words echoed heavy in his broken heart.]
***
[Do you always play alone? Came the soft voice.
Chanyeol looked up, startled out of his mindless playing. He had started just with the basic warm-up chords and it had moved on its own into a heartbreaking song that poured out of him into the empty field of flowers.
A safe place for only the birds to hear. That was the only place he ever played now.
So he had been startled when the boy with bright honey-colored eyes and fluffy hair had spoken.
'How long had he been there. How long had he been listening?'
"It sounds like the strings are crying." The boy commented.
Chanyeol looked down, wondering if he really was broken now? And all he could play was empty soul-crushing laments that belonged in another world. Another universe...
He cleared his throat and his voice caught as he mumbled out a soft-spoken "Sorry"
"Can you play more? I wouldn't mind listening. I have nothing else to do My family is moving and told me to go out for a bit." The warm waist-high yellow and pink flowers tousled around them in the overgrown wild. The soft wind blew his long fluffy dark brown hair around his face. The boy smiled sweetly. They brushed against Chanyeol's legs tickling his skin. It felt nice... but itchy.
The flowers danced unaware of the growing space between the two children. The blue sky glinted brightly, large white clouds that seemed to almost tumble through the sky playfully whisked past on the breeze causing the sun to blink in and out of it's beating blaze.
Chanyeol looked back at the guitar. And then back up. 'The boy didn't seem like he was being disingenuous.' He began to play again.
For the first time since his dad had died. Since that time he had started to play again.
Someone wasn't telling him to stop.
They weren't scorning him for playing the very thing that killed his father. They weren't shouting at him for being cold to the deads pain. And the heaviness inside him poured out in relief.
He hadn't known how to say it. He hadn't known how to let people know how sorry he was. How much he hurt. And why because of it. He needed now more than ever to play the music inside him.
And so he had no choice but to come out here where the only thing for miles were a few trees, a field of flowers and some birds.
And every time he played his heart hurt as if he were back in that car. As if he were back demanding for his way.
He started playing again. His thoughts swirling around in the past. Sucking him down into his own empty dispair. His world of hurt and loss like greedy fingers that slithered across his skin, gripping him tightly burrowing their nails into his flesh and trying to rip him to pieces.
"My universe has been empty since the moment you went away...
I spent a million moments wishing you had stayed.
I don't know how to say all the words I left in my heart
Instead, I spend every moment wishing on the stars that were ours"
Chanyeol's eyes flew open as the first beautiful notes poured out of the boy.
He stood there staring straight at him. The boys honey eyes filled with the light around them, like a piercing gunshot through his heart, the tendrils of darkness that clawed at his heart and mind started to retreat in its sudden blinding brightness.
As the world around them continued to dance in the wind, and bright breaking colors in the sky tinted every cloud in a beautiful array of hues. Because of the starting to set sun. Chanyeol's breath caught. And he knew he would never forget this moment.
Because for the first time the words he couldn't say, the words he couldn't come up with.
All the pain he had shut in his heart had flowed out.
Not from him.
But in some magical way. The moment he had longed for. That need for understanding and release had come from a total stranger.
He stopped playing. And the boy blinked twice as if coming out of some trance and looked at him. Their eyes stared deeply into the other.
"Sorry... Did I bug you? I know it is your song. But I felt like that was right... What did you think?" He asked with a soft smile.
Chanyeol stood there stunned.
His smile fell as he peered closely at Chanyeol.
"Ah... Sorry, are you crying? I didn't mean to upset you. I wasn't trying to do any..."
"It was beautiful..." Chanyeol's voice cracked from the weight of his own hurt he stumbled trying to figure out how to finish the sentence, but the release he had just gotten from a completely unexpected source.
"Do you want to keep going? We could finish it together..." He asked gently. His voice was so fragile and calm as if he were trying to soothe an injured animal.
Chanyeol wiped the tears from his eyes stood up and put the guitar down against the tree stump he had been sitting on. "I have to go." He said quietly.
"But what about the song..."
"It was for the birds." He replied, turned around and started back towards town.
He wanted to say more to him, he wanted to thank him, to tell him how much this moment meant to him. But once again he didn't have the words.
"I'm Baekhyun! Byun Baekhyun by the way."
Chanyeol turned around and smiled softly, the wet glistening brightness of his tears streaked his cheeks. The bursting rays of the setting sun glinted across his face lighting up the tears with a warmth that glowed from outside in.
"Thank you..."
"Ah, for what?" Baekhyun asked confused.
"For the stars that were ours... " Chanyeol stated with a soft sad smile then turned back and pushed through the tall grassy flowers towards town.
"What about you? What's your name?...
Hey, Kid! You forgot your guitar!" He heard Byun Baekhyun call to him. His powerful sweet tenor called after him. But Chanyeol never did turn back around.]
***