"What point is there...? I brought you back here so we could put you to rest but..." I began to say to Dad before I started crying again. And the fact all I felt was his cold touch only made me cry more. I don't even know why I was talking to him. I'd get no response and no closure, all I could do was imagine things he would say.
But... I have spent so long away from him and not interacting with him that I have all but forgotten how he behaved. I can remember things he has done with me and the others, yet, even then... I still could not figure out how he might answer my questions and cries.
"Maybe, I just need to go find you myself." I then let out quietly and miserably before getting off of the bed. And, despite having an idea, I was reluctant to move away from the bed. Maybe it was because I felt so weak as of late and so tired... I could not tell as all I could think about was Dad...
About how I would never hear him call me Little Va anymore. How I would never get to sit there smugly as Conquei got scolded for her lack of feminity. Or the reverse where I was getting scolded for my foul behaviour. Not one thing I did with him would ever happen again...
"Please come back..." I pointlessly begged as I wiped my eyes with my messy tail. The beauty it once had, the care I once put into it. It was all gone and I just could not muster up the effort to look after it anymore. I just couldn't care in general, I suppose.
And soon, I finally mustered the emotional, mental and physical strength to leave Dad behind. I left him alone and slowly made my way down the airship and back to my chair. I got many worried glances on the way, and some even tried to stop me, but I refused their offers. Even when I fell down into a fit of coughing and gagging, I refused.
I denied every bit of help offered to me until I got all the way to the bridge again. Where, to no surprise, Mom was waiting for me. And the moment she saw me was chaotic as she just threw me into my chair. A harsh but gentle hand rubbed my scalp and she barked her orders to someone.
Then, when I woke up again after going through a series of flickering eyes. Before me was a steamy bowl of something and holding it up was a Mom who loved me so much... So very much... Then, once again, I began to cry at the mere thought I might lose her soon too.
All it took was a one-in-a-million chance for Dad to die and now that we were home... We could see how much danger was present in the area. Osibindah had come and they were tearing our home apart in the hunt for whatever it is they wanted. Be it food or bodies to steal...
If Dad was gone just like that, then what is to say that the moment we land that Mom won't go to? That Conquei who I had to go back a second time for won't just vanish for a second time...? I wanted to go home, and now that I was here, I never wanted to land there... It was too dangerous for them...
"Vadei, please, listen to me, you need to eat!" Mom's begging soon registered in my ears and I looked up at her.
"Excuse me..." I politely asked between a new set of coughs. Attempting to get up before the mere presence of her hand put me back down. She wasn't going to let me go anywhere so I needed to be smarter about this. But, I just couldn't think of anything as my head would just start pounding harshly.
"Mom, can you help me with something, please?" Conquei asked as she came in, likely holding something. But, that only made Mom's grip on me tighten.
"Can't it wait!?" she asked back surprisingly harsh as she tried to tease my mouth open with the sweet smell of the food. She failed in that task and the spoon just hovered before my cracked lips.
"Thank you..." my sister let out quietly when Mom just walked off with a stressed huff. Leaving me alone in my chair with a bowl of warm food. Something I quickly set aside before I began to slowly set the airship down as to not alert anyone. But my lack of sleep made it feel like we were suddenly jerking about and it worried me.
Yet, I managed to succeed in my task and the airship landed without an issue. Now, I just needed to quickly get off the airship after giving it a timer before it would go up again. If Mom and Conquei could die so easily if we were not thorough, then I'd have to clear this place. I was stronger than them, I did save them after all.
So, I could save them again, surely? I just needed to get off this airship quickly. But, upon reaching the outside spaces, the timer had already finished and the airship had begun to rise. So I swallowed my fear and just fell overboard.
"DAMMIT!" I screamed after slamming into the ground below. Just this small drop had hurt so much and I was clutching my body as I cried my pain out. Then, when I was done crying over something so insignificant, I finally managed to get up. Each step, however, was accented by the huffs of pain I could not help but let out.
And when I looked up at the distant and blurry airship, I smiled a bit. Because now that they were up there, they were safe. I could fight these osibindah attacking my home and make it safe for all of them. And, maybe, just maybe, I could go see Dad again before Undwote takes him...
"Come out... Bugs..." I weakly croaked as I bounced between trees with painful thuds. Not even paying attention to how my claws were steadily whittled down by the bark. Then, when I ran out of trees to hold on to, I fell to the ground. And I led there quietly in the grass as my mouth tried to suckle what moisture it could.
Then, once again, I cried as I began to regret my plan. This wasn't going to work at all, not at all... If I could not even get past Mom of all things in this state... How was I going to stop osibindah!?
How was I!? Dad would have hated me throwing my life about so recklessly like this. He would have hated it and the moment I would find him again... He would be angry with me, my last moment with him would be anger, not joy...
"Please come back... I have been an idiot..." I cried as I rolled onto my back and reached out for the distant airship. But as I watched it rise higher and higher, I got angrier. And this anger was soon converted into the strength I needed to get back up. And I kept on moving once I was up again, a glare on my face as I slowly hobbled over a low cobblestone wall.
Then, I went over the wall slowly and gently hopped down from it while hugging my tail with one arm. It was very cold out here even though the halo shined brightly down on me. Even the little sticks that snapped under my feet seemed to hurt more than they should have. Yet, even with my precautions, none of it got easier.
It hurt to move, to think, to see and to hear, everything about this slow journey was pure misery. Not even the thoughts that drove me were any better. It was just a mountain of bottled-up grief and anguish. Mom and Conquei seemed to have gotten over it, but I have not for some reason...
All I could think about was Dad's cold hands and increasingly colourless fur. That bed he was in was all that seemed to matter to me right now and I just didn't know what to do. But, thankfully, I found something to distract me from Dad, at least for a moment. Because I was able to find our old house which was still miraculously intact.
I guess that was one benefit to living at the edge of the village closer to the woods. The mountains were further away so the osibindah would be as well. It was quite dusty, however, merely walking past the broken door set my nose off. To my displeasure, as well, my face stung intently as if I had sneezed out razor blades or something.
"Still here? Mom, I thought your cooking was better than that." I commented as I stared at the cold fireplace and the large black pot. A dusty stew full of new things was still in said pot and it had congealed into something else. It still looked like a stew, mind, but, I would not want to eat it at all. Even with the completely empty stomach that I had...
I soon moved on, though, to a different part of the house and came to a stop before our bedrooms. Me and my sister shared a room just like Mom and Dad did with the other one. It wasn't a large house by any means, but it was my house. Our home... That was all it needed to be to be better than all the other places I have lived at.
"You better not be trying to scare me..." I mumbled miserably when I heard chittering coming from behind me. It was probably just Nin coming on by to see why the airship had come on down. So, I went out to meet him, only to freeze up when I saw yellow eyes, not blue. But, I did not back away in fear or try to fight.
I just stared at the frail-looking osibindah as it stared back at me and swished about its stolen tail. Then, it moved to grab me and pick me up to which I sighed weakly. The joy I had previously found by going inside our home was now gone and I was being carried off. Death was awaiting me now and I could go see Dad again!
Yet, even with how much I hated my life right now, no matter how much I just wanted it to end. I could not help but feel a growing sense of dread as I was carried off by this bug. And soon, I was forced to say goodbye to the light of the halo as I was brought into a tunnel. To my surprise, however, the bug did not spear me on anything disgusting...
It just left me alone in a small chamber alongside a couple of other people from the village. Each of them was somehow in a better state than I was... It did not confuse me, however, I knew exactly why I was like this right now. Nor did I really linger on my fate, I just felt so tired right now and I just wanted to sleep...
So I did, I slowly, somehow, managed to get to sleep while being watched.