I have every right to be furious.
I keep hoping your intentions aren't spurious,
But there's no excuse lose your head
to ignore, dismiss, and mistreat a friend.
And I'm not okay with that.
Where did my friend go? The one I met nearly two months ago.
I'm disappointed, and I would look for a shred of who you've been.
But all I've been seeing for 40 days is a display of allufness,
What did I miss in the process?
Where's the man who was open? Who tried to respond as soon as he could, and would be thoughtful, insightful and full of good.
The jokes and humor that we understood.
The man I liked more than I should.
I remember you told me,
You liked how I was kind, my positive outlook, and my clever mind.
You told me you liked where we were heading,
But of late, it's the one I've been dreading.
Where did he go? The one who we could talk for hours,
Create memories and moments that were ours
And made me sigh like the stars in the night sky,
So like a cold wind, abrupt, so, why?
Why did you start ignoring me?
I remember, about a month ago,
You still harbored feelings for me, so why did you go?
You looked at me when you were dancing with her. Again and again and only twice where you not looking at me. Why would you dance with another girl if you were so clearly interested in me?
You said you were interested in me. You tapped my nose, poked my sides, and touched my hair. I was so open with you, and we all thought you were great.
And even when you wanted to be 'just friends' for the time being because of darkness and depression
And I thought that was so mature that you wanted to work on yourself, and not drag anyone under.
When you apologized profusely when I asked you to the dance because another girl asked you out first, and when you were looking at me while dancing with someone else, and only twice I noticed you weren't, once when you held her hand.
And I was fine being friends. I was fine I was fine I was (said in a tone meaning broken) fine.
When did this all change? I told you I wasn't comfortable with dating, that it was all so new, and that we barely knew each other, And you echoed those last words
and I was honestly happy when I asked you to the dance again and you said,
"I'm sorry, I can't go to the dance with you, I'm interested in someone else and it wouldn't feel right if I did that,"
And I was honestly happy, till I saw you face to face.
Hopeful. Hopeful there was some excuse as to why you were distant.
When you told me you were feeling down, I dropped treats by, and you stopped by to say hi, and I was happy when you said yes to hanging out Tuesday next
And when you told me that Tuesdays where when you were most available,
So then why, even after all you know, why would you tell me the day before you went on a date with the same girl?
If you're so 'interested' then why are you willing to make plans with me? When you know what we had, and what we could have been.
That's not fair to her, and that's not fair to me.
I'm an honest person, I admit I was hurt, but managed to tell you, "I like you, and I know you like someone else, and I'm happy for you."
And I was happy being friends.
That whole time
Tuesday night, he didn't touch me once, and I'd honestly wouldn't have reciprocated my own feelings in the start if he didn't play with my heart.
I'm fine being friends, but you stopped trying.
And I was fooled. I thought you were cool, and so did my family, until enough was enough and it was so hard to see-
that I'm not fine.
You hurt me, not physically, but honestly, I'm fine being friends, but ignoring me?
And I sent the texts to my family, and they were the ones to tell me what you did was so rude, and words I won't say because it was crude, but dude, no, that's not okay. It never is to treat me, or anyone this way.
And it hurts because I thought you were real.
I wanted you to be real. And it's taking so long to heal because I thought I found someone like myself.
But I see now, all you thought of was
yourself.
11.24.19 10:30 PM
And I'm not okay with that.
12.05.19