"Answer me!" He's typical rage returned. Should I reply? I can clear my name and I won't have to hear any of his annoying screams directed at me anymore. Would my guilt finally disappear?
"Don't tell I didn't have it right!" Shin shouted desperately.
"Tell you that it wasn't black and white?" I scoffed quietly
"DON'T MESS WITH ME!"
"Quiet. I told you. I'm tired." Why won't I just tell him? Why can't I just tell him? It'd stop. His shouting... his constant screaming... they'll all disappear... they directed at me anymore. Maybe... we all can go back to the way we used to b-
If only I was idealistic enough to truly believe that.
Shin's the type to let guilt weigh him down. If he knows... sure it'd be easier for me... but can I really do that to him? A kid only wanted to stand out. A kid that can go fine believing they're right.
Until...
They realized how wrong they were. I was like that. I really thought what I did was justified. I was scared I'd have to go back to... t-that hell. I still am, but I also realized what I did was wrong and I'm still atoning for it.
"Are you just gonna stay there? I can't sleep. It's awkward." I turned to look at him, still lying on my bed. He stood there straight, unwavering.
"What do you mean? When you said you didn't get to choose. I'm not moving until you answer me."
Childish brat.
Curiosity is dangerous. We all hate it when we're proven wrong and our anger just turns into sadness. I have to suffer because I realized I was wrong. It would've been so much easier to go on believing what I did was justified.
I won't do that to you. I can't bring myself to.
"Well, I lied. It's not really out of character for me to lie, you should've expected it." I looked him straight in the eyes with one of the coldest looks I've ever given anyone. It was... one of the only times... my lie seemed convincing.
Maybe it's because I believed it to-
"You're not supposed to just admit it..." Shin whispered something under his breath, looking like he was hesitant to believe me.
"Look at me. Look at this person... this demon that took all your friends away, put you in a cell to starve and plead for food. The demon that said she was your friend and betray you. Why wouldn't I lie like it was second nature?" I turned to face the wall again, unable to face Shin.
He stepped back, probably out of fear. Did he forget that? Was he so angry that he had forgotten his own reasoning for that rage?
"Satisfied?" I asked
"Why can't you just laugh and boast about what you did like you were proud? You're a terrible villain..." Shin walked out, slamming the door shut.
In stories, games, series, I always wanted to be the villain. I always liked the villain more. They almost seem happier than the heroes before their demise. They don't preach justice and do whatever they want. They were cool.
So...
"D-Dammit..." I stuttered quietly.
Why is it so hard to actually be a villain? Why does it feel so cold...
"I wish you were here, y-you damn idiot," I didn't mean to say it out loud, but who cares. I'm pretty sure only I could've heard that.
"Whatever do you mean? I'm always with you," That voice! Instantly, looked at where the voice was from. In front of me... looking at him.
Before I knew it, I stood up, smiling. I needed someone to vent to and damn... you always seem to appear when I need someone to talk to the most.
"I really hate your timing... it's too good... you know that?" I looked at the idiot. His black hair gently reflected the soft light of the morning sun. His gaze, looking directly at me like always.
"I'll always be here if you call loud enough"
"Cringeeeeee" I laughed
"Don't you 'cringe' me! I know you love these dramatic dialogues" He smirked
"Yeah yeah... it's been a while... Hiroto,"