"Stop!" Hiroto held my hand back, my dagger, inches away from stabbing Shin's neck.
W-What... What have I done?
My eyes widened. My breathing intensified. Both of us fell onto the floor, paralysed. I looked for Hiroto, for guidance, for help, for anything, but he wasn't there. It was as if he blew away with the wind...
I-I need you... what do I do now? I messed u-up... Hiroto... help...
"I-I'm... so so so sorry," I desperately crawled to the stunned Shin.
My hands are shaking as it hovered on top of Shin. Finally, Shin snapped back looking at me, terrified and sad...
"Are you ok? Are you hurt? Did I hurt you?" My voice is trembling.
I pushed myself up and reached out my hand to Shin. Please... tell me that I can make up for this... I'm sorry. Shin slapped my hand away, getting up by himself and tramping away, disqualifying him.
You idiot! Why the hell did you just do that! How could I? Listen, Amber... and I mean this in the nicest possible way... you messed up. Deal with it.
"Winner! Iron Maiden to the finale!"
The announcer's voice snapped me back. I gotta apologize to Shin! I ran out as the crowd cheered on for my victory.
"Shin!" I shouted, sprinting around the halls. Where are you?
"Shin!" I burst into the changing room, finding no one...
Alfie must've been watching the match too...
Slamming the door close, I curled up into a ball at the corner of the room. There's no way he'd forgive me now... he's tolerated this traitor once already... it's understandable, no expected that he wouldn't tolerate me again.
Where are you, Hiroto? What do I do? I just need someone to talk to... someone... anyone...
"Am I... really a monster?" I whispered.
All his pain, all his fears began because of me... is the thing he sees the thing I really am?
Was he right? Am I just a traitor meant to be the villain? Can't I change my ways like every other character in those stories? I did this to myself. I shouldn't have escaped. It was a life of luxury... I had almost the ultimate power.
Why'd I had to come here and just reinforce the fact that I can never be a good person? I already knew that...
Just be heartless... you always had... what's a little more gonna do to you?
"You just don't want to be the villain anymore, there's nothing wrong with that," I glared up at the voice.
"Hiroto! Why do you have to always appear and disappear like that? It's making me look insane sometimes, you know?" I mumbled, looking at him with my tired eyes making him chuckle a little.
What's so funny? Me being miserable?
"Sorry, I learnt a new spell. Gotta use it somehow," He disappeared in front of me and appeared again.
Damn... did he learn that from Alfie or something?
"I'll... really have to learn that one day..." I muttered to myself softly.
"Need you be so sad, general?" Hiroto puts on his polite Ignis persona, making me smile slightly, forgetting about the mess I'm in for a second.
"I messed up... I snapped. My rage got the better of me... I hate these situations... cause I know it's my fault," I grabbed my hair in frustration.
I lost control...
"No point dwelling in your regrets, just make sure you won't regret what you're gonna do right? Talking to me won't do you much good, why don't ya go apologize to Shin? Just do your best, best is all you can really do,"
You know... I can't argue with that.
"T-Thanks... Dumbledore, see ya," I got up and went searching for Shin.
Running around until finally, I heard someone's voice, "I thought I'd find you here, you always seemed to like sitting in dark places when you're sad," the voice was gentle... kind... surprisingly not robotic since it was Fay's.
I stepped quietly towards the voice to find Fay opening the storeroom's door with her usual blank expression.
"You know... for a second... with that tone... I really thought you were Fay. The Fay that comforted me when I get rejected. The Fay that said she would never forget me, but you're not Fay. I'm surprised you even knew I like being in the dark."
"I moved and spoke on instinct. This annoying headache... it won't stop and when I'm near you... it would hurt even more, but when you looked sad... it seems my heart would ache as well. The feeling... it is... strange. Right now I feel the urge to ask you what is wrong?" Her voice became monotoned again...
She got inside and stood beside the sitting Shin. I poked my head inside just enough for me to see them, but they can't see me.
"Nothing. Just get off of my back,"
"But I am not on your back," Fay tilted her head in confusion.
"I-I didn't mean it literally! I just meant that nothing was wrong okay?" Shin looked away from Fay.
"Liar. I do not know why, but I feel like you are lying, just tell me what is wrong. I would like to get rid of this pain inside my chest... p-please?"
Shin, surprised at that little bit of her that still resembled Fay, caved and told her, "I know Amber's planning something, she has to! Yet everyone seems to think I'm a mad man for thinking like this... I don't get how they can trust her, she almost killed me!"
"I mean... Shin... that is quite the accusation of the general, she probably only wanted you to see what would happen if she was trying. I have changed and you have changed, maybe she has changed as well,"
"No! No way!"
"Why can you not believe that she is trying to be a good and honest person now? That she is one of my only f-friends and will never betray you,"
"BECAUSE I NEEDED THAT FRIEND BACK THEN! A friend that remained loyal for me, a friend I could trust! Why did you and Hiroto get that friend?! If she was capable of changing then... when we had to pick sides... was I not worth changing for?"
For the first time, I heard pure sadness inside his voice... no anger... no hatred... just a voice trembling.
Never thought my betrayal would hurt anyone that badly... I'd consider Shin as a friend... never said we were close, but we were friends back then...
Maybe to him, I was one of the people that were nice enough to actually talked to him. I didn't realize my impact... I didn't think anyone would really care...
"H-Hey, as a person that has your friend's face... I feel like I should say something... but I do not know what to say..." She actually seems sad for once...
"Thanks... listening is enough, you may not be the person I knew, but deep down, you're a good person too," Shin smiled genuinely at her for the first time since... well forever... even making me smile for their new friendship a little bit...
"I'm glad I could make you smil-"
Suddenly, Fay touched her forehead looking like she was in pain. The more time passes the more her expression grew... making my heart drop. That look... it looks too close to back then... within those cells... her screams rang inside my head.
Fay... she's in pain... is she okay?!