Everyone has moments in their lives where you thought someone was the one, but then it turned out to be untrue. Whether it was a lover or simply just a friend, it hurts the most when that person suddenly leaves your life. Entirely or not, the feeling of separation never feels great. However, in times like these, the realisation that these people need to get in their heads is that it is not the end of the world. It never is. Unless natural disasters befall the entire planet and the Earth is split in half, such detachments from another human would never spell the end for your life.
After Ming had the realisation that Sato was in love with another man, his heart was crushed and pummelled.
Although he had never made a move on Sato, such a discovery was too sudden for the boy who always gave in to everything and everyone. From a family of four children and Ming being the oldest, the eldest sibling had to compromise and help his parents out at home. Ming's full name is Li Ming. Li being his surname and Ming being his first name. Raised in such a household, Ming learned how to share from the young age of 7 when his first sibling was born. Then as he turned 12, his twin siblings came into his life. With both of his parents working a nine to five job, Ming was the caretaker of the family after he gets home from school.
And so, when such a mindset, the young boy entered middle school, high school and finally university. Middle school and high school, Ming was not exactly the greatest time in the his life. He was part of the go-home-club as he had to take care of his two younger siblings. There wasn't any time for him to make friends with his classmates and have outings. The only thing he could do at home was study. He buried himself in books throughout his uniform school life and in the end, his grades showed his efforts.
Going into university, Ming finally got some time to himself. He was able to move out to live in the school dormitory and study under a full scholarship. However, even with the new found time, it was hard to make friends when others had profoundly different backgrounds from himself. Ming was also socially awkward and did not know how to make friends. In the end, it was only when Sato approached him and asked whether he would like to have lunch together, did Ming finally understood what friendship was.
That friendship eventually bloomed into something more, a secret crush on his best friend. The passiveness from Ming made his feelings for Sato easily hidden. And so, years went by and eventually, Gray came back into Sato's life. Everything came crashing down at that point and now, many weeks later, Ming stood still on the walking path by the highway. As cars drove by at high speeds, time felt extremely slow for the depressed young man.
The weeks without interaction with Sato were far worse than any form of physical pain he could receive. He would rather get stabbed in the heart a hundred times over than experience what he felt that day in the amusement park. Now, after contemplating, Ming felt like he was better off not being in this world. To him, death was quick and easy. All he had to do was climb over the railing and jump off the highway into the water. The impact of the fall is strong enough to fracture and destroy Ming's weak body, allowing him to stop feeling these extreme emotional pains.
The first step was always the hardest as documented by suicide survivors. When killing yourself, there is the need to first steel your resolve. You need to have the courage of a lion to push your body beyond the gates of life into death. Once you have that mindset and have taken the first step, every other step is simply just emptying the other thoughts in your head. The body would start to bring back memories of the past in attempts to stop you from killing yourself. If you are able to suppress such thoughts, all there was left was to just jump.
For Ming, he had thought through suicide many times over during the weeks that he did not go to school. Time was what he had and in the end, his mind was convinced that it was better for him to be dead than alive. With a firm grip onto the handrail, Ming climbed over the railing onto the edge where he was just a footstep off falling into the blanket of water under the highway. It was time for him to say goodbye to everything.
"Goodbye mom, dad. I am a failure of a son for doing this, but I truly feel that I can no longer live in this world. Goodbye Li Xuan, Li Qian, Li Bing. My brother and sisters, do grow up to become more than what I was in my life. And finally, goodbye Sato. I know that when you hear this news sometime in the near future, you would be extremely devastated. However, I hope that you would move on from our friendship quickly enough. I was never worth your time and effort. Goodbye world…"