Once there is this jungle wherein all the male animals are hardcore sex maniacs. All time, every hour of the day, they used to have sex.
All the females got annoyed with their husband?s behavior and decided to go to the maharaja for help.
The maharaja was kind enough to give a relief period of 2 months to the females, he called every male and cut their dicks off and gave each one a coupon. The coupon said 'COME AFTER 2 MONTHS AND GET YOUR DICKS IN EXCHANGE OF THIS COUPON'
Now there was this female monkey who started to tease her husband by saying "Darling I am hot today please come and have sex" this continued till 45 days and then the male monkey was pissed and replied "Darling wait for 15 days and then ill screw you royally as I just flicked the elephants coupon"
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How do you name your children? A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children. "You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy!"
He turned to the second Mom. "Your obsession is money.
Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny!"
He turned to the third Mom. "Your obsession is alcohol.
Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy!"
At this point, the fourth mother got up, took her little
boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go!"
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Final List
A man is having problems with his dick, which certainly had seen better times.
He consults a doctor who, after a couple of tests, says, "Sorry, but you've overdone it the last 30 years. Your dick is burned out. You only have 30 erections left in your penis."
The man walks home, deeply depressed. His wife is waiting for him at the front door and asks him what the doctor said concerning his problem.
He tells her what the doc told him.
She says, "Oh no! Only 30 times! We shouldn't waste that! We should make a list!"
He replies, "I already made a list on the way home, and I'm afraid you're name isn't on it."