Jones took his wife to the doctor for treatment. ?Doc can you do something about my wife? She goes for any man, and I am getting really pissed by this.
?We?ll see?, the doctor said.
He directed Mrs. Jones into his Examination room, closed the doctor behind him and told her to undress. Then he told her to get up onto the examination table on her stomach.
The moment he touched her buttocks, she began to moan and squirm. It was too much for the poor doctor to resist and he climbed up on top of her and began to screw her.
Jones suddenly heard moans and groans coming for the examination room, unable to control himself he pushed the door open, and he sees the doctor on the top of his wife!
?Doctor what the hell are you doing?? he asked
The doctor said, ?Oh, it?s you, Jones? I?m just taking your wife?s temperature!?
Jones took out his Swiss knife and said ?Doc? ?when you take that thing out of my wife?s ass it better have numbers on it!?
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A mouse and a lion walk were in a bar, drinking a few beers when a giraffe walked in.
"Get a load of her" said the mouse, "what a babe!" "Well, why not try your luck?" replied the lion. So the mouse went over to the giraffe and started talking to her. Within five minutes they're out the door and into the night.
The next day, the lion was drinking in the bar, when the mouse staggered in. The mouse is completely worn out, and can hardly hold himself up. The lion helped his pal up on to a stool, poured a drink down his throat and said, "What the hell happened to you? I saw you leave with the giraffe, what happened after that? Was she all right?"
The mouse replied, "Yeah, she was really something, we went out to dinner, had a couple of glasses of wine, and she invited me back to her place to spend the night. And oh, man! I've never had a night like it!" "But how come you look like you're so exhausted?" asked the lion.
"Well" said the mouse, "between the kissing and the screwing, I must have run a thousand miles!"