Ultimate one liners
What's the definition of gynaecologist?
The only fool who looks for problems where others try to find pleasure.
Love is a complicated machinery. But sometimes all you need is a good screw to fix it.
Sex is like a card game. If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
If you had sex 365 times in 12 months and you melted the condoms down to make a tyre what would you call it?
A fucking goodyear. (ha ha ha !! :)) :)) )
Why is the blow job a win/lose situation?
You may have her on her knees, but she has you by the balls.
Mental anxiety, mental breakdown, menstrual cramps, menopause. Did you ever notice how all women problems begin with men.
Q: What is virginity?
A: It's not dignity. It is lack of opportunity.
* Most women prefer sex with the lights out: they can't bear to see a man enjoying himself.
* Men like sex with the lights on, so they can get the women's names right.
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As I lay on my bed, thinking about you, I feel this strong urge to grab you and squeeze you, because I can't forget last night. You came to me unexpectedly during the balmy and calm night, and what happened in my bed still leaves a tingling sensation in me.
You appeared from nowhere and shamelessly, without any reservations, you laid on my body... you sensed my indifference, so you started to bite my body without any guilt or humiliation, and you drove me crazy while you sucked me dry.
Finally I went to sleep. Today when I woke up, you were gone, I searched for you but to no avail, only the sheets bore witness to last night's events. My body still shows your marks, making it harder to forget you. Tonight I will remain awake waiting for you... as soon you appear I will quickly grab you and won't let you go, will hold you with all my strength so you won't disappear. Won't rest until l squeeze your blood out..... you.......you...........
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you.......you fucking mosquito!