There were once three guys with no dicks. They all went to the doctor's.
The first guy says, "Doctor, doctor, you've got to help me!"
"What's the problem?" asks the doctor.
"I have no dick!"
So the doctor gives him a metal dick and tells him to come back in a week.
The next guy comes in and says, "Doctor, doctor, you've got to help me!"
"What's wrong?" the doctor asks.
"I have no dick!"
The doctor gives him a wooden dick and tells him to come back in a week.
The last guy comes in and has the same problem. The doctor gives him an electrical dick, and also tells him to come back in a week.
A week later,the first guy with the metal dick goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, doctor, I hate you, I hate you!"
"Why?" asks the doctor.
"Well, everytime I have sex with my girlfriend, she starts to shiver!" He walks out.
The next guy with the wooden dick comes in and says, "Doctor! I hate you!"
"Why?" the doctor asks.
"Everytime I have sex with my girlfriend, she gets splinters up there!" He walks out.
The last guy with the electrical dick walks in and says, "Doctor, doctor! I love you, I love you!"
"Why?"
"Everytime I have sex with my girlfriend, her boobs light up!"
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A little kid bursts through the front door yelling, "Mom, Mom! I got laid! I got laid!" When the mother hears what her son is saying she slaps him across the face and says, "Go up to your room, you filthy boy, just wait for your father to get home, he'll take care of you!"
She can hardly believe what her son was telling her. Soon his Father gets home and is instantly instructed to go and discipline their little foul-mouthed child upstairs.
The Father enters his sons room and can see he is still very excited about his first sexual escapade. The first thing out of his sons month, "Dad, Dad, I Got Laid!" The father says proudly, "You did? How was it?"
The young boy says, "It was great dad! It was the most incredible experience of my life! It was so great! It was the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I can't wait 'till I get laid again!"
The father is very proud of his son's sexual encounter and gleefully asks, "Well Son, when are you going to be getting laid again?"
Without hesitation, "As soon as my ass stops hurting!"