A penis is a gentleman...when it sees a lady, it stands.
It is also an artist, after every performance, it bows
It is also a gossiper, it goes from mouth to mouth
Sperms and mayonaise have a lot in common.
1st : both are spreadable
2nd : both are rich in protein
3rd : both are Ladies Choice!
Lady goes to the dentist, takes off panty, sits down and spread her legs
Dentist : Obgyne is 1 floor higher, madam
Lady : No! You installed my husband's dentures last week, you get them out
now!
Woman in restaurant sees the chef flatening the hamburger with armpit
Girl : That's the most disgusting thing I have ever seen!
Chef : You should have seen how we make donuts!?
Define blowjob
Its' the only job in the world that can't be written on a resume despite years of experience and number of references
A woman needs only 4 animals in her life :
a. a mink on her back
b. a jaguar in her garage
c. a tiger in her bed, and
d. a jackass to pay for it all!
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Austin Powers' pick up lines
I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long.
(Lick finger and wipe on her blouse) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.
Nice legs...what time do they open?
Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.
You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher, have you seen one?
I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.