Sex techniques...
After hearing a couple's complaints that their intimate life wasn't what it used to be, the sex counselor suggested that they vary their positions.
"For example," he suggested, "you might try the wheel barrel. Lift her legs from behind and off you go."
The eager husband was all for trying this new idea as soon as they got home.
"Well, okay," the hesitant wife agreed, "but on two conditions - First, if it hurts, you will stop right away. And second," she continued, "you have to promise we won't go past my mother's house."
----------------
One day a man goes to the doctor's office with a large red mark on his penis. The good doctor examines it and gives him a cream for it.
The next day the man tells the doctor that the cream he gave him didn't work. So the doctor gives him something else, the guy takes it and goes away.
The next day the man goes to the doctor and said, "Hey, doc, that stuff you gave me really worked! What was it?" The doc simply looks and says, "lipstick remover!"
-----------------
When his wife's snoring woke him for the third straight night, Harry went to the bathroom medicine cabinet, got some aspirin and popped two tablets into her gaping mouth.
"Awk, glub!" choked his startled wife. "What the..."
"It's okay, honey. I gave you some aspirin," he explained.
"Why? I don't have a headache!"
"Great!" said Harry, "Let's fuck!"