Red Ring
A man goes to his doctor and says, "Doctor, Doctor, please help me! I've got a problem."
The doctor examines the man and sees that the man has a red ring around his penis. The doctor gives him an ointment and asks him to go home and rub on the problem area.
Just moments after he applied the ointment the things gets cleared up this guy is really impressed how fast it worked and wonders this must be super wonder medicine, so he calls up the doctor and says "It's all cleared up!, But what was that medication you gave me?"
Doctor: "Lipstick remover."
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Alone!!
Once, Johny was so upset by his past deeds that he decided to visit a church and confess
all of his sins. When he arrived at the church, he walked to the confession area and spoke to the pastor, "Father, I am sinful."
"Yes son, just tell me what you have done, the lord will forgive you."
"Father, I have a steady relationship with my girlfriend, it's been for 2 years and nothing serious ever happened between us. Yesterday, I visited her house, nobody was at home except for her sister. We were alone and I slept with her."
"That's bad my boy, fortunately you have realised your mistake."
"Father, last week I went to her office to look for her, and could not find anyone except for one of her friend, as we were alone so I slept with her too."
"That's not very good of you."
"Father, before that, last month, I went to her uncle's house to look for her, nobody was around except for her auntie as we were alone, I slept with her also."
"Father........ Father.....?" suddenly Johny realised that there was no response from the father, he walked over and discovered that the pastor was not there.
So he began searching for him.
"Father? Where are you?"
He searched all the corners, high and low and finally he found him hiding under the table behind the piano.
"Father, why are you hiding here?"
"Sorry son, suddenly I remembered there is nobody around here except me."