Super Deluxe Model !
An Italian was in a bad car accident and after months of recovery he still has a problem. He has to have his penis amputated. He goes to see the doctor and the doctor reassures him that he can help him.
"First of all you have to pick a new penis" says the doctor. The doctor picks up a box from his table and says "This is our 6 inch standard model. It is dependable and will cost you only $6000. It comes with a lifetime guarantee.
The man says, "Ok. What's in the other box?"
"This is our 10 inch super model. 10 inches of muscle to please any women. But for this you have to pay $10,000!!"
The man says, "Oh yea, that's the one I want. My wife will love me forever. Well what's in that other box?"
The doctor picks up yet another box from his desk.
"This is our super deluxe model. It's 12 inches of all beef and will drive all the ladies wild. But if you want this much power you gotta pay $12,000 for it!"
The man is really on a roll and is tickled pink, "Doc, that's it, that's the one for me. I'll be the envy of everyone I know. But does it have a lifetime guarantee?"
"Yes sir."
Then the man says he has just one more question. "Does it come in white?"
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13th Hole
A golfer was on vacation in Ireland and while playing he made a hole in one. With that, a leprechaun jumps out from the trees and says, "I am the lucky leprechaun of the 13th hole. I'll grant you any wish."
The player thought a bit and said, "Could you make my weenie a bit larger?"
Well, by the time he got to the 14th tee, his penis was showing below his shorts. He continued his game and on the 15th hole, it was dragging along behind him. By the 18th he could hardly drag it to the green.
He went straight to the pro shop and asked the pro how to fix it. The pro told him that according to legend, you must go back and make another ace and see the leprechaun again. So after purchasing five buckets of balls, he made his way back to the 13th and frantically began hitting shot after shot until finally he made the hole in one. Again the leprechaun offered any wish.
The player asked, "Could ya make me legs a bit longer?"