Desparate for Sex
After his third week of work on the Alaskan pipeline, Joe is getting a little antsy, so he asks one of the guys what they do for sexual release.
The guy tells him that since the nearest woman is 450 miles away, they pretty much have to take things into their own hands. "Of course, there's Wong, the cook. He's the little guy. He takes it in the butt." Joe says, "No way, I don't go for that kind of stuff!"
After another week, Joe asks again about sex. Again, he receives the same answer, either do it yourself, or Wong takes it in the butt. Joe again says, "Nope, I don't go for that stuff. "
Another week goes by and Joe is now desperate. He asks, "If I was to do it with Wong, how many people would know about it?"
His buddy says, "Just the five of us."
Joe says, "Five!? How the hell will five guys know about it?"
His pal says, "Well, there's you and me, and Wong, and the two guys it takes to hold Wong down. See, he don't go for that stuff either."
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Intelligent House of Prostitution
A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices
a Sign out of the corner of his eye. It reads: SISTERS OF ST.FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION -10 MILES
He thinks it was just a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought. Soon he sees another sign that says: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS -HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION -5 MILES
Suddenly, he begins to realize that these signs are for real. Then he drives past a third sign saying: SISTERS OF ST,FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION NEXT RIGHT
His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the
far side of the parking lot is a somber stone building with a small sign next to the door reading: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a Nun that is in a long black habit who asks:
"What may we do for you, my son?"
He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway, and was interested in possibly doing business."
"Very well, my son. Please follow me." He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door, and tells the man, "Please knock on this door."
He does as he is told and this door is answered by another nun in long habit, holding a tin cup.
This nun instructs, "Please place $50 in the cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end of this hallway."
He gets $50 out of his wallet and places it in the second nun's cup.
He trots eagerly down the hall and slips through the door, pulling it shut behind him.
As the door locks behind him, he finds himself back in the parking lot, facing another small sign: GO IN PEACE YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS