Bushy Babe
These 2 friends were enjoying a few drinks when Santa asked Banta, "Tell me Banta, in all honesty, what do you think of a woman with a growth of black hair under her nose?"
Banta replies, "Shit no, I would never be turned on by a woman like that."
Santa says, "OK, so tell me, what about a woman with big black hairs growing under her arms?"
Banta says, "For shits sake what are you talking about? I couldn't even get it up with a woman like that."
Santa says, "OK but let me ask you another question, what about a woman with long black hairs growing on her legs, never shaves her legs?"
Banta replies, "Shit man give me a break, I would never get into bed with a lady like that."
Santa says "OK so answer me one last question, if all you say is true, why the hell are you FUCKING my wife?
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Finance Hooker
A new hooker had just finished her first trick and when she came down the street, the seasoned veterans gathered around to hear the details.
She said, "Well, he was a big, muscular, handsome sailor."
"Well, what did he want you to do?" they all asked.
She said, "I told him missionary-style sex would be $100, but he didn't have that much. Then I told him oral sex would be $75, but he didn't have that much either. Finally I asked him how much money he had."
The sailor said, "I have $25."
So the hooker said, "Well, for $25, all I can do is service you by hand."
The hooker went on the explain that, "he pulled it out and I put one hand on it, and then a second hand above the first, and then the first hand above the second hand... it was the best dick you could lay your hands on, kind of Perfect"
"Oh my God," they all exclaimed, "It must have been huge, then what did you do?"
"I loaned him $75!" she exclaimed.