A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walked into a bar in London. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?"
The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her.
However, down at the end of the bar, an owly-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!"
The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down. She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked, What man here will buy a lady a drink?"
Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!"
The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "I say, old chap, It's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her the ballerina?"
"As far as I'm concerned," the drunk replied, "any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina!"
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City Girls and Country Boys
A city girl was driving back to town after attending a family funeral when she ran out of gas. It was getting late so she asked two... good old boys sitting on the stoop of a mobile home where she could get some gas.
"Well," said one, "the filling station ain't open 'till tomorrie, but I reckon you kin stay the night with me & Billy-Bob here."
She accepted, only to be told that there was only one bed, which both Billy-Bob and Billy-Ray slept in. Thinking it might be fun, she went ahead anyway. When all three of them were all tucked in, they were just about to jump her bones when she halted proceedings.
Pulling out two condoms, she said, "You nice boys wouldn't want me to get pregnant, would you? Here, put these on."
They did. The three of them proceeded to have the time of their lives. In the morning the car got gassed up and our girl went back to the city.
Three months later, Billy-Bob and Billy-Ray were sitting on the stoop, chewing on some gum.
"D'ya remember that city girl who stopped by here a while back?" asked Billy-Ray.
"Ah sure do," said Billy-Bob, with a smirk.
"D'ya really care if she gets pregnant?"
"Nah," said Billy-Bob.
"Well, lets get these STUPID things off of our dicks.