Very Naughty Short SMS messages
* If necessity is the mother of invention, then… Frustration is the father of masturbation!
* What is the definition of a healthy virgin?
One who has never been Bed RIDDEN !
* While preparing her RESUME a young Lady wrote:
Special qualification: I am Flexible enough to Perform in all Positions.
* Define contraceptive pill?
It's the second best thing that a women can keep in her mouth to avoid pregnancy.
* What do politicians & porn stars have in common?
They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera!
* Importance of UNITY explained at it's best:
One Leg of a woman tells the other: UNITED we are saved, divided we are *ucked.
* Same Sex Marriage: What's the big deal in same sex marriages? I've been married to the same woman for 25 years and had the same old sex all that time.
* Tension is when wife is pregnant!
Terror: When girlfriend is pregnant!
Horror: When both r pregnant!
Tragedy: When U r Not responsible 4 both!
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The Ultimate Wedding
You have to love this guy. This is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson University. It was in the local newspaper and even Jay Leno mentioned it. It was a huge wedding with about 300 guests.
After the wedding, at the reception, the groom got up on stage with a microphone to talk to the crowd. He said he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding.
He especially wanted to thank the bride's and his family and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a lavish reception. As a token of his deep appreciation, he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift just from him. So taped to the bottom of everyone's chair, including the wedding party was an envelope. He said this was his gift to everyone, and asked him or her to open his or her envelope.
Inside each manila envelope was an 8x10 glossy of his bride having sex with the best man. The groom had gotten suspicious of them weeks earlier and had hired a private detective to tail them.
After just standing there, just watching the guests' reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said, "Fuck you!" Then he turned to his bride and said, "Fuck you!" Then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said, "I am out of here."
He had the marriage annulled first thing in the morning. While most people would have canceled the wedding immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with the charade, as if nothing were wrong. His revenge--making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300 guest wedding and reception, and best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of 300 friends and family members. This guy has balls the size of church bells.
Do you think we might get a MasterCard "priceless" commercial out of this?
Elegant wedding reception for 300 family members and friends: $32,000.
Wedding photographs commemorating the Occasion: $3,000
Deluxe two-week honeymoon accommodations in Maui: $8,500
The look on everyone's face when they see the 8x10 glossy of the bride humping the best man: Priceless!
There are some things money cannot buy; for everything else, there is MASTERCARD!