Goblins. They originated from different European folklore during the Middle Ages. Goblins were synonymous with being greedy and malicious. However, it usually depends on the story being told; there could be good and evil goblins. But they were most commonly written as ugly creatures that take any opportunity to rob someone's most precious items. Goblins were often short in appearance with varying skin color from green to ashy grey. They also had pointed ears like the elves and wore minimal clothing such as a loincloth around their waist. In a typical fantasy setting, these creatures would reside in forests and mountains.
Now that they appeared on Earth, goblins would gather under bridges, in abandoned buildings, or in the sewers. During the night, they would raid the innocents' home and steal their wallets and purses. Money and jewelry were common items that they stole. The term 'goblin' was a common slur in society due to their mischievous acts. They were hated by all races and would often be a 'kill-on-sight' if one was spotted.
"So, when did you encounter this goblin?" Arlo's voice muffled as he shamelessly shoved a sandwich in his mouth. He chomped down his last piece and licked his fingers before letting out a loud burp. Carole had offered them food, and Arlo hastily agreed without a second thought. Truly a man with no dignity, what so ever.
"Last night!" Carole slammed her fist on the table. "It even had the gall to use my credit card!"
Rocky and Arlo flinched before they nervously looked at each other. Rocky jotted some things down in his notepad while Arlo placed another cigar in his mouth and lit it.
"Did it happen to steal anything else?" Arlo questioned further. He then leaned back on his chair and adjusted his blazer.
"A-and, and...my precious Fabergé Egg!" Carole wept. "Do you even know how rare that was! It was made in the 16th century by a famous artist. The King of Spain even had it in his possession once!"
"I-I see."
Rocky suddenly stood up from his chair, "Don't worry, granny! We'll catch this goblin scumbag for ya!"
Carole immediately shook his hand with both of hers, "Please do! I'll even pay you handsomely!"
"Handsomely?" Arlo's eyes suddenly turned into dollar signs, "No worries, this will be a piece of cake."
*****
The afternoon passed and evening arrived. Carole had left her home, leaving Rocky and Arlo alone. Arlo had advised her to spend the night at a nearby hotel as it would be dangerous for her to stay. Rocky had set up traps around the house with Arlo's money as bait. He placed hidden alarm systems that would alert them when the goblin tripped one of the traps.
Meanwhile, Arlo adjusted his magical sound enhancer. This tool is used to pick up sounds that can't be heard by humans from long distances. Goblins were famously known as monsters with the best stealth capabilities. Therefore, he had to rely on this to catch the goblin.
"Ya think this plan will work?" Rocky asked.
"It's a widely known fact that goblins are incredibly stupid. So yeah, it'll work."
"Will it even show up?"
Arlo sneered, "It'll be here."
Four hours passed without a goblin in sight. The sky turned dark, and crickets played their buzzing instruments. Rocky sat upside down on the sofa as he played a fighting game on a handheld console. Meanwhile, Arlo slept beside him as drool fell from his mouth. His snoring echoed throughout the entire living room.
"Dammit! This is takin' too long!" Rocky slammed his console onto the floor. He had just lost an online match.
"Wuh, what's goin' on?" Arlo was startled awake with his eyes half-opened. "Is it here yet?"
"It's already past 11, and the little rat still ain't showin' up!" Rocky complained.
"Mmm, patience, young grasshopper," Arlo close his eyes again and returned to his dreamland.
"I've waited long enough, old man!"
Rocky was seething in rage and was about to lay a beatdown on Arlo when, suddenly, a noise came from the sound enhancer that made them both jump in fright. Arlo immediately grabbed the sound enhancer and turned the volume up by adjusting a knob. Faint footsteps echoed from the speaker.
Arlo loudly whispered, "It's here!"
Rocky pulled the pistol from his holster, "I'm bout to blow its damn brains out."
"Stay quiet and check the rooms," Arlo ordered. He grabbed his staff and quietly walked towards the kitchen.
Rocky pulled out a flashlight as he silently walked down the dark hallway. He slowly opened one of the doors near him and scanned the room. The trap that he had set up wasn't tripped. Rocky shined his flashlight at the nearby furniture for any hints of movement. However, he didn't spot any signs of the elusive goblin. Suddenly, Rocky heard a loud thump on the wall.
Rocky jumped in fright and screamed, "Who's there!"
In response, the glass vase behind him fell from the drawer and shattered into pieces. Rocky immediately shined his flashlight at the commotion. Sweat started dripping down from his forehead. His hands began trembling, and he gripped his pistol tighter. Clothes were thrown around when the closet door opened. Moments later, curtains were pulled down from the windows as a shadow streaked by.
Rocky chanted to himself, "I ain't scared of no goblin..."
As the final nail in the coffin, a small hand brisk by his shoulders, and Rocky began hauling ass out of the room.
"ARLO!" Rocky screamed in agony. "IT'S HERE! IT'S HERE! IT'S HERE!"
He stumbled as he ran towards Arlo. Rocky immediately hid behind his back and shook in fear. Rocky's teeth were chattering, and he had goosebumps on his arms.
"Quit being scared. It's only a goblin," Arlo sighed. "Where is it?"
"I-It w-was right over there!" Rocky pointed at the room. "It even grabbed my shoulders!"
As the two walked towards the room, a blaring alarm suddenly echoed from upstairs.
"The trap got em'!" Rocky excitedly yelled. All traces of fear had suddenly vanished.
They climbed upstairs and ran towards the end of the hall. Rocky then kicked the bedroom door open. Rocky and Arlo both barged into the room, full of vigor and ready to fight.
Rocky pointed his pistol forward, "We got ya now, ya freak of nature!"
However, they were met with silence in an empty room.
"Uh, where is it?" Arlo asked in confusion.
"Huh?" Rocky lowered his pistol. "But the hidden rope was s'posed to grab em'... The alarm went off and everythin'..."
A vein popped out of Arlo's forehead, and he angrily screamed, "YOUR TRAPPING SKILLS ARE GARBAGE, ROCKY!"
"Say that crap one more time, stick bug!"
"IT'S TRASH!"
The two of them argued back and forth. Their foreheads collided as they threw insults at each other; each of them tried to push the other back.
"Hey, losers!" A mysterious voice shouted at them. "Look up!"
Rocky and Arlo stopped their bickering and nervously looked at the ceiling fan. A green goblin, the size of a child, hung upside down from the fan while waving towards them. He had an orange mohawk and wore a brown loincloth around his waist. In an instant, he dropped down and latched himself onto Rocky's face.
"GET HIM OFF ME! GET HIM OFF ME!" Rocky dropped his pistol and tried yanking the goblin off of his face. He panicked and ran around the room, crashing into the walls and furniture. Meanwhile, the goblin ferociously pulled on Rocky's ears and cheeks. He even bit his nose as Rocky wailed in pain.
"Hold on, Rocky!" Arlo waved his staff in the air. In mere seconds, green runic symbols appeared before him that shined brightly.
"Wood Entanglement!" Arlo finished the spell, and the runic symbols disappeared. The floor beneath them rumbled and numerous branches grew out. The branches quickly twirled around Rocky's legs and tightly held him in place.
"What the hell, Arlo!" Rocky tried moving but to no avail.
"My bad, Rocky!" Arlo quickly removed the spell that bounded him. The branches vanished as it slithered back into the floor.
The goblin cackled with laughter, "In all my years of living, I've never seen idiots like you two!"
Arlo rushed towards the goblin, and he swung his staff at him. The goblin easily dodged the attack by jumping away from it. The staff hit squarely onto Rocky's face, and he fell.
Tears welled up as Rocky covered his bleeding nose, "I'm gonna kill ya, Arlo!"
The goblin grabbed Rocky's pistol and tossed it out of the window, "Whoops! There goes your little weapon, rockhead!"
Arlo continued to swing crazily at the goblin; screaming a loud warcry with each swing. However, the goblin was like a slippery eel as he effortlessly evaded his strikes.
Rocky quickly retreated away from Arlo, "Watch where ya swingin' that thing! Ya almost hit me again!"
The goblin slid through Arlo's legs before he climbed onto his shoulders. The goblin then pulled Arlo's blazer over his face and blinded him.
Arlo flailed his arms wildly in panic, "Help me, Rocky! I'm blinded!"
As Arlo tried to grab the goblin, he tripped over his own foot and fell face first. As an act of victory, the goblin lifted his loincloth and proceeded to piss all over Arlo. Arlo managed to grab ahold of the goblin's foot, but he easily slipped out of Arlo's hand.
"You're my property now!" The goblin continued laughing.
While the goblin was distracted, Rocky charged at him to tackle him to the ground. However, the goblin saw this coming and casually flipped over him. Rocky rammed head first into the wall and smashed a hole through it.
The goblin ran towards the window, "You're both a hundred years too young to beat me! By the way, thanks for the gold ring, nerds!"
Arlo quickly looked at his right hand, "My ring!"
Rocky finally got his head out of the wall with enough force. In the end, the goblin ran off, leaving them dazed and confused.
He glanced at the window and then massaged his nose, "So much for 'incredibly stupid' goblins, Arlo..."
"Hmph. I still stand by on what I said," Arlo pulled a GPS from his pocket.
"No way! You didn't just-" Rocky said in disbelief.
Arlo snickered evilly, "I managed to place a tracker on his foot. This time, we'll catch him and steal- I mean to take back the valuables from his nest that was stolen. It's killing two birds with one stone!"
Rocky gave him a thumbs up, "You're a genius!"
They began laughing at the goblin's impending demise.
"But seriously, man. Go take a bath," Rocky covered his nose and spoke like he had helium in his lungs.
*****
Rocky and Arlo arrived at an abandoned building in their van. Though the streets were eerily silent, the street-lamps still shined through the night. The shops were closed, and their neon signs turned off. In the sky, a mile-long train soared above their heads with the use of levitating magic. Gold dust glittered beneath it as the train pierced through the clouds. The train's blaring horns echoed through the sky, and they both glanced at it.
"He should be in here," Arlo placed his hands in his pockets. "Let's go in."
The place was something out of a dystopian movie. Shattered glass and broken concrete scattered across the floor. Support beams stretch high above, and water droplets fell from the cracks of the ceiling. The doors were missing, and the walls were riddled with holes both big and small.
Rocky and Arlo heard laughter in one of the rooms ahead of them, and they silently crept towards it. They peeked into the room and saw the goblin playing with its hoarded treasure. Arlo looked at him with envy as he wiped the saliva drooling from his mouth.
Arlo yelled, "Wood Entrapment!"
Branches quickly grew from the concrete floor and tightly wrapped around the goblin's body. The goblin was stunned by the unexpected ambush and struggled to break free.
"W-What the hell!" The goblin cried.
"You thought you were safe from us, didn't you?" Arlo mocked.
"How did you even find me!" His eyes grew wide as he saw them.
"Does it matter?" Rocky slammed his fist into his palm. "Someone needs to teach ya a lesson about stealin' from people!"
Rocky stomped towards him with fury in his eyes; his dark aura steadily increased. To the goblin, it's as if the demon lord had suddenly appeared, causing him to whimper. Tears formed at the corner of his eyes as he shrank back in fear.
The goblin stuttered, "W-wait, w-we can t-talk it out, right? Like civilized people!"
"We're way past the point with talks," Arlo looked at him with disdain. "Rocky, you know what to do."
"Not a problem," Rocky showed his villainous smile.
As Rocky raised his fist, the goblin shouted, "Wait, I'll do anything! I'll even be your servant!"
"Hold it, Rocky," Arlo squatted down and looked directly at the goblin's eyes. "Servant, you say?"
He vigorously nodded, "Yes!"
Arlo couldn't hold his smile. He thought of all the possible ways he could use this goblin for his own benefit. Therefore, Arlo didn't hesitate to accept the goblin's offer.
"Yes, what?" Arlo sneered in contempt.
"Goddammit," The goblin murmured. "YES, MASTER!"
*****
Rocky and Arlo leaned back against the van and stared at the night sky. Its black tranquility, along with its lustrous freckles, eased their hearts. Up above, the full moon shined its calming light onto their faces. Meanwhile, the goblin dragged his treasure onto their van. He didn't hold back his tears as he wept for his loss.
Rocky crossed his arms, "That was one helluva night."
"You bet," Arlo blew a stream of smoke from his cigar. "My back's already aching."
"Still a geezer," Rocky chuckled.
"Oh, shut your damn mouth."
"Hey, masters!" The goblin interrupted their relaxation. "Why do I have to wear this stupid collar?"
"It'll shock you if you do something stupid!" Arlo answered with irritation in his voice. "Now get working, runt!"
"The name's Goomy, in case you didn't know!"
"Did I even ask you?" Arlo held a controller up. "I'll zap you if you keep slacking off."
Goomy grumbled incoherently as he went back to work while Rocky and Arlo shared laughs and fist-bumped each other.