I didn't know where I was. I just knew I was far from where I didn't want to be and that was ok with me. I didn't know my destination but I knew I had to run. I wasn't going back there.
I kept running till my lungs burned for air, until my calves tighten and pulled, until my feet started to blister, and even then I did not stop.
Slowing down into a jog, I came across a park with no one in it.
"Perfect. I guess this is where I'm sleeping tonight" I said dejectedly and continued towards a secluded bench behind a tree.
Tired, exhausted and sleepy, I laid my head on the bench to sleep. Almost immediately I fell asleep.
When I woke up, the sun was shining straight on top of my face from between the branches. Groggily, I sat up and stretched, immediately hearing the creaking of my bones.
" Ok, time to figure this thing out." I thought.
I had nowhere to go, I was homeless, hungry and tired. However, I couldn't go back. I can only go forward.
" Hello there missie" an old warm sounding voice suddenly came out of nowhere.
Startled by this voice I screamed out.
"Ahh!" * Thud!* I fell off the bench.
" Ouch," I said disgruntled as I rubbed my aching backside.
" Oh! I'm sorry dear, I didn't mean to scare you." Turning around I saw an old lady standing near the bench with a worried expression her face.
" Are you okay? she asked concern coloring her frail voice.
" Yes, thanks," I answered while dusting off my pants.
Looking at her, the old lady seemed amiable and cute. I've always liked old people, they had many stories to tell and had a certain aura about themselves, tell tales of the decades of life they've lived.
" Can I sit here?" she gestured to the bench.
Jolted out of my reverie, I nodded my head. As I sat, I glanced over to her, seeing her take out a long bread that looked expensive and started to pinch it feeding the pigeons and doves in the area.
Marveling at her down to earth spirit, we sat in silence for a few minutes.
" If I may ask dearie, How come you're out here this early like me? Could it be you're here to feed the birds as well?" The old lady asked in curiosity. Her question brought me out of my thoughts as I remembered my circumstances.
I felt overwhelmed and emotional as I thought about it.
' Maybe I should tell her? Everyone will find out in while anyway. Might as well spill the beans' i considered.
"I-I. Something happened to me last night and I ran away" stopping, I glanced over to see if she was listening. She continued feeding the birds but I could tell that her attention was on me.
Sighing I continued. " After it happened..... I hit someone on the head in self-defense and ran away. Now I don't know what to do." Getting everything out I breathed in and out trying to regulate my beating heart.
We continued to sit in silence until she commented.
" Is the person alright?" she asked in a calm manner. Flashbacks of his bleeding head floated in my mind. ' Is he dead ?' Although I had heard a noise coming in the direction of my room so -probably not?
" Um- he should be," I said nervously as I wiped my palms on my pants.
"Hmmm," she replied.
Silence.....
After what seemed like forever, she said in a gentle voice, " You know, when I was little, I would get scared a lot by almost everything. My mother told me, that when I was scared I should go to my happy place. " she chuckled fondly at the memory.
"Every time I did, I would feel better and less scared. I felt like nothing could get me if I was in there. At that time my happy place was my pillow castle in my room." she laughed.
" You should go find yours too, child and remember that you shouldn't trust everybody but only the people you know will put you first. Alright, my bread is finished, I should go. Don't forget what I said, child. I can tell you're a good kid but your future.....sigh." The old lady packed up and left.
"My future?" I mumbled in a confused daze.
As I stared at where she sat, my thoughts replayed what she said.
' Find a happy place...
'Happy place...
'Happy place...?'
A spark ignited in my head and my thoughts tumbled around until they stopped at one word...Library.
" Hahahahaha" I laughed out loud in glee.
' Why didnt I think to go there ' i smiled.
The Library was my only happy place on this earth. My only home. Ready to head there I fixed my clothes and fluffy hair ready to head out when my stomach growled with a vengeance.
'Shit' i thought with furrowed eyebrows.
'What do I do for food?'
Thinking back, I probably should have asked for some of that bread.
I walked around the park watching various morning vendors set up for the day. Wonderful smells wafted in the air and my stomach grumbled in indignation at not being fed. As a result of not eating for 3 days, I felt lightheaded and sick. My thoughts often colliding with each other. But always ending with one word.
" Food...Food.....Food...." was the only thought in my mind as I struggled to put one foot in front of the other. I walked past a fruits stall on my left, I watched carefully as the owner turned around. As she did, I snatched an apple from the stall. Running as if my life depended on it, I sped past everyone and kept running until I arrived in front of the library.
I bit at the apple hurriedly and even ate the core. I wiped my mouth on my sleeves and looked around. No one spared me a glance as they continued with their daily mundane lives.
Walking into an alley beside the Library, I sat on the dirty ground and put my head on my knees.
" Sigh, Life sure is hard for a runaway." I softly said to my self, depressed.
No food
No home
No friends or family. Even if I disappeared no one will know or even care. I rested there for 10 minutes before I made myself as neat as possible the headed inside the Library.