Xie Jingyu's heart ached, and he was overwhelmed by a sudden feeling of guilt. He should have considered Yu Huiyin's feelings before acting, but he was so used to being alone that it had never crossed his mind that someone was waiting for him at home, someone who would worry about him, and who would feel horrible not knowing what happened to him.
He picked up his phone, which had been turned off, and turned it on. Here, he found thirty-seven missed calls, but no text messages.
He could easily imagine the fear and unease that Yu Huiyin must have felt when she was waiting for him to come home, and without wasting any more time, he hurried into the sitting-room again.
However, what greeted him was an empty sofa, and the TV that was turned off. He looked around in confusion, only to see the other bodyguard pointing towards the upper floors.
Xie Jingyu nodded to the bodyguard before he hurried upstairs. Here, he went to the master bedroom, and as expected, Yu Huiyin was lying in bed, covered by the quilt.
She was not saying anything, but Xie Jingyu could see her shoulders were shaking, and seeing her like this, crying in silence, he felt as if someone had ripped his heart out of his chest and sprinkled it with salt.
He was blaming himself. Why had he not considered her feelings? He claimed to love her, but he was not even able to foresee such grief?
He hurried to the side of the bed, and when he looked at Yu Huiyin's face, he noticed that it was wet from tears. Her hands were tightly clenched around the quilt, and her eyes were closed as she tried to cry as silently as possible, not allowing any sound to escape her, so as not to let anyone know.
No one could understand the feelings she had experienced while waiting for Xie Jingyu to come back, and nothing could have possibly prepared her for the feeling of her world collapsing.
Even the pain that Xie Jingyu was experiencing right now was nothing compared to her pain. Although he was feeling self-blame and guilt, he knew that she was alive.
She had been unaware of his situation for so long, and she had been held under observation so that she could not even find out about his current wellbeing, she felt as if she had been played a fool. Was it enjoyable to make her feel sad? Was it good to make her feel so much pain?
The more she thought about it, the more she felt aggravated and sad, and she cried harder, her shoulders trembling from trying to be as silent as possible.
Xie Jingyu could not handle watching her like this and hurried to her side, pulled her into his embrace, and placed his head on her hair.
But Yu Huiyin had no wish to see Xie Jingyu right now. After knowing that he was fine but had told her nothing after such a long time, she was angered to no end and tried to escape his embrace.
Feeling her trying to leave him, he held her tighter, his heart hurting with a dull ache, unable to be controlled.
"Let go of me!" Yu Huiyin was truly angered, and she yelled out, but her voice was choked by sobs and slightly hoarse, so while she was raising her voice, all it managed to do was cause another wave of pity and self-blame to wash over Xie Jingyu.
"I won't," he said calmly, his voice was also low, but Yu Huiyin could easily hear the heartache in his words. However, it was too late. It was not easy to forgive him after this time.
"Just let me sleep," Yu Huiyin finally said with exhaustion. "I just want to sleep."
Xie Jingyu felt panicked. He had never seen Yu Huiyin feel so defeated before. She had even given up resisting his hug; she looked just like an old porcelain doll, unfeeling and broken.
"Okay, we will take a nap, but then you need to eat something," Xie Jingyu said to Yu Huiyin, trying to make her feel better. "We will just sleep for a few hours, but you have not eaten for more than twenty-four hours, it is not good for you," he continued, but Yu Huiyin did not react. She just waited for him to release her again.
The more she acted this way, the worse Xie Jingyu felt, but Yu Huiyin had no time to consider his feelings. After what he had done to her, she was suddenly unsure of their future together.
Xie Jingyu was involved in many illegal businesses, he was not purely a clean person, so one day he was likely to vanish from her world. Would she be able to handle it?
Were there going to be many times like this one, where she knew nothing, where she would be waiting all alone at home, and where she would be forbidden to find out what was going on? She could not accept it.
She knew that Xie Jingyu had not allowed her to join them this time because he didn't want to see her hurt, but it was unacceptable that he had left her like that, not telling her anything, and just letting her fear for his life for more than twenty-four hours.
Xie Jingyu gently lowered Yu Huiyin onto the bed; he then held her in his arms and tried to calm his uneasy heart. He knew he had made a mistake, but an apology was nowhere near enough to make up for it.
What could he do to make her forgive him? He had to ensure that these situations never happened again.