Chereads / Dawn at the Abyss: A Collection / Chapter 10 - What do you want to be when you grow up?

Chapter 10 - What do you want to be when you grow up?

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"An engineer," my parents answered for me.

"A teacher," still my parenrs, a few years later.

"An accountant," someday when my teacher discovered my potential with mathematics.

In truth, I never knew what I wanted. I changed dreams as often as you can imagine. They told me I could be something, so I said I wanted to be that something. But actually, what do I want?

It's a rhetorical question at the back of my mind. Math is easy, maybe I'll be an accountant. I could teach well, maybe I'd be a great teacher. I love reading, maybe I'll try writing. I could write well, maybe I'll just be an author. Programming looks interesting, maybe I'll do that instead?

I had so many interests; Anything I set my interests to, I can learn easily. But what do I do with all these knowledge? Info-dump to my friends? Randomly drop trivias that no one asked for? Excitedly ramble on when someone mentioned something I knew?

What dreams do I have? What future to I want? What are the things I desire? Maybe I'll look into other people's answers, and I'll pick one that's noble enough, or what seems the coolest. I'll use my writing skills and add some motivations behind it. A drop of past sentiments that will cement the reasoning. Maybe a bit of my real thoughts. Then I could say I dream to be anything, anything that fits the most with the current situation.

Right now, I want to be a Criminal Psychologist. It seems cool: Creating a criminal profile is challenging; Analyzing real people would be interesting. It sounds unique ebough; There's nothing like it in the country I came from. I could use it as subject to my writing.

What do you want to be when you grow up? Do I really have to be something when I grow up? If so, then maybe I'll just be whatever I am in the future. If I become an engineer, then I wanted to be an engineer. If I become a teacher, then I wanted to be a teacher. If I become a Criminal Psychologist, then I wanted to be a Criminal Psychologist. I'll just want to be whatever I become to be; I'd romanticize it to think that I've always dreamt of what I had become. That way, I can say I became what I wanted to be when I grew up.