Hey, it's me, Blaine. Or, otherwise known as the greatest man to ever exist! And-- I'm thinking to myself as if someone is actually here… Well, it's not like I can do anything else. What am I doing, you might ask? Doing what adventurers do best, adventuring.
A dungeon, I mean. I'm exploring a newly discovered dungeon, out in some swampy area, had to kill a hydra just to get here. And damn was it annoying to kill! Every time I cut off one of its head, two more appeared. And every time I tried to get close to its body, all of its heads would do their best to defend it! Well, nothing the great me couldn't handle!
Now, so far, the monsters in this dungeon have been extremely weak. Like, slime levels of weak. And even slimes can be somewhat 'strong' if they play their cards right. So, I would say the monsters in this dungeon are even weaker than slimes! Some lizard guys that just rush at you, giant bats that run away from you if you get even a bit close, and goblins...
What? Nothing much to say about goblins, just stupid and frail. Basically green children.
I've just been trying to find the second floor for a couple of hours now… This place might have weak as hell monsters, but it sure is huge. What was the Dungeon Master thinking, designing a shitty dungeon like this?
On that note, I'm pretty sure I see a door… A door! Maybe a door that leads to the second floor? Hopefully. It's boring just fighting weak monsters. I try and push it open-- Ah, this thing is hard to push open! I'll have to use a portion of my amazing power to overcome this obstacle!
…
I push a tiny bit harder and it opens up.
Now, to head inside.
"Abomination? The hell? What kinda name is that… Oh, who cares, if I can get this over with, I can get my hands on a ton of money!"
.
.
.
Hah… It's been thirty god damn minutes and I haven't seen a single monster! What kinda dungeon is this? Stupid ass dungeon master! Put some more effort into designing your dungeon!
I guess there were a few traps… and a chest with some decent stuff in it, so I guess it hasn't been all bad.
I turn the corner-- to-- be-- greeted with a whole lotta golem. And not some crappy ones, high quality, strong golems…
HELL NO! I'm not dealing with them! I might be a hero, but I know when to make a tactical retreat, and now is that time!
So, I ran, really fast. I eventually made it up to floor one again…
God damn it, I'm gonna have to report this to the guild leader.
[Chapter B.2, end.]