(Sorry this may be triggering and depressing.- Author)
All that happened 6 years ago so currently I'm 16. I still think about what happened. It's almost like it's on repeat in my head. Since then I never had the courage to open up about the incident. I don't really know what to call it other that incident. Tragedy. Accident. None of those seemed right to me.
"Zach!!" Mom yells from the bottom of the stairs. "It's time for school!"
"Ok I'm on my way down!"
I have my license but mom always insists on driving me to school. I know the reason but I'd rather not talk about it. This is sort of how I became after the shock of everything went away. I don't talk to anyone I don't have to so that means everyone at school.
Depression set in after about 2 years. I tried to talk to the school counselor Mr. M. He was very nice and recommended to try sports to find a way to get my mind away from everything. It didn't work I'm not a very sport like person. I may not like sports but I still have a good build.
The depression only grew no matter how hard I tried to get rid of it. It didn't take long for me to have to start having to only wear long sleeves and hoodies. (cutting)
Mom set me up with therapists bot none of them worked. They all said I had trouble opening up. This is only partly true. I never told any of them about the incident not even Mr. M. Mr. M is the only person I ever start conversations with at school. This was to be expected out of a small school though. Everyone already had a group of friends the last thing they needed was some random depressed kid barging in. I was alright with it though because every time I thought of the word friend a certain face would pop in to my head.
James. The way he laid there not moving. Every time I thought of him tears wet my eyes my hands start to shake my breathing becomes uneven and I fall apart. I've locked myself in a bathroom many time because of this.
There are about 75 students in my grade not that it really matters.
Anyways enough about my life. I run down the stairs and eat breakfast and were off to hel- cough cough-school.
I get to school early because Mom works morning shifts at a daycare about 5 minutes from the school.
I usually sit on a bench reading or scrolling through the news but today was a little different. I saw Mr. M talking to a new student. I brush it off as nothing and head to my bench but as I'm walking by Mr. M stops me.
"Zach! perfect I need you to show Damien around."
I don't really have the heart to turn Mr. M down so I turn to the new kid Damien who is about a head shorter than me and ask for his schedule. The first thing I notice was the fact that our schedules are mostly the same so I ask "Can you just follow me around for the first day or two. Our schedules are mostly the same."
Damien turns to me with a bright smile "Sure!" With that I don't really know what to say so I just clear my throat and ask if he wants to head to first period early.
Once we arrive at the classroom I inform Damien that he'll have to find someone to lead him to gym and math class. We have gym together but I asked Mr. M if he could get me permission to leave early so no one saw the scars on my wrists but the real reason was my back. Imagine the stories people would come up with about me. I don't want to deal with that.
The first three periods went well I guess, nobody talked to me and I talked to nobody. That's how I like it. But that changed when I had to tell Damien to find someone to take him to gym. Damien had already found a group of friends to hang out with which I was expecting him to. Just from the few words we've said to each other I could tell he was a super friendly person.
I walked up to the group and tapped Damien on the shoulder accidentally scaring him. "Sorry. I just had to tell you need someone to lead you to gym." With that said I quickly turn around and go to my desk and gather my stuff and nod to the teacher to notify him I'm leaving. Nobody knows why I leave early for that class so on my way out I hear Damien ask Luna the girl in his new group why I was leaving but the she seemed to shocked to hear what he was saying. I don't know why she looked so shocked but if I had to guess its because I talked to someone.
Once I arrive at the locker room I quickly change in to a long sleeve shirt with a hood and a pair of sweatpants. Right as I step out of the locker room the bell rings signaling the end of class. As people start to flood in in to the locker room I'm waiting on the bleachers already changed.
I thought this class was going to end up like the rest and nobody's going to talk to me but the most unexpected thing happened. Damien, Luna and Gabe the other guy in his group march straight up to me. Not knowing what to do I try to move out of there way but they move back in front of me. Confused I try not to look at them and scratch the back of my head trying to think of what they would want from me.
Luckily or unluckily I don't really know Luna was the first to speak. "What's your name?"
Not being able to function like a normal human being I mumble out. "Zach."
After I said that Luna quickly turns to Gabe and almost screams "I told you he talks!!"
Right after that the coach blows his whistle and tells everyone to get in there spots for attendance. He just put everyone in alphabetical order so he can just look through his list.
"Ok good everyone is here." Coach yells out. "I didn't plan anything for today so we just play Dodgeball. You guys choose your team's fairly." Of course they didn't so we ended up with all the jocks on one side and the so called nerds on the other. I didn't want to see all the nerds get bullied so I also choose their side. I'm not exactly small. I go to the gym sometimes to clear my mind. I mostly run but sometime I'll use the weight room.
When the whistle blew I was just about to start running for a ball but before I could start Luna Damien and Gabe cornered me again. Shit. "Don't think you can get away that easily" Luna exclaims
I tried to play dumb and mumbled "I wasn't trying to get away." I very much was.
Before she could come up with something to say a ball nailed her in the back of the head. She immediately turns to see who hit her. "Damn jocks!" she says between clenched teeth "It's not like we stand a chance." She starts towards the out space. I felt a little bad for her so I decided to try a little harder this time to get people out. Some of the others on my team got a few of their weaker players out so i just had to clean up the rest. Easier said than done I managed to get about three of there guys before I got hit. when I got to the zone i noticed that Luna was the only one in her group that has gotten out. I look back at the game I see Gabes not doing to bad but Damien is currently hiding behind some of the other players.
Luna noticed I got out and marches right up to me. "Alright before you get away this time answer my question. Will you join our group?"