"Will you join our group? " Luna asks me out of the blue.
For a second I see a glimmer of hope before James face pops in to my head and the glimmer is gone. I turn away from Luna and reply "No and please don't bother me again." I might have said it a little harsher than needed but I think she got the idea.
I walk away from her and go to the guy's locker room and lock myself in a bathroom stall. I lean on the wall and try to get my breathing under control. It doesn't work. I so realize I'm having a panic attack and sit on the floor which is gross but necessary. I put my head in my knees and wrap my area around my head and cried.
After what felt like forever which was only about 15 minutes I stop crying and stand up. I stay in there for about another 5 minutes so I can get color back in my face but the redness around my eyes still remains the same.
After the 5 minutes I walk back out to the gym and find that the teacher wasn't even paying attention to the game so I just go over and sit on the bleachers. When there is 5 minutes left of class the teacher tells everyone to go change. Of course I stay behind and wait for everyone to leave from the locker room before I go in.
Once I'm in and changing someone walks back in. Quickly I turn around so they won't see my back. I see Damien standing there surprised to see me still in here. while I was to busy trying to hide the scars on my back I forgotten the ones on my wrist and forearms which he seemed to notice.
I quickly turn my face so I don't see the look of pity or the look of disgust on his.
"Why?" is the first thing he asks. I force myself to look back at his face but I don't see pity or disgust instead all I see is curiosity.
I look down at my arms in shame and say "Because it made me forget."
That's as much as I told anyone. I never told them that it made forget James or that it made me forget how pathetic my life was. I just told them it made me forget.
To my surprise Damian just said "Okay."