{Jay}
It's already been a few days since we set sail, and I'm in the hold practicing 'Mana Golem'.
It is sort of like 'Mana Clone', but is different in a very difficult way.
Clones are just my body, and I still need to concentrate to control them, but a golem requires me to control two differing types of bodies at the same time.
For right now I'm only proficient at handling a body type I'm currently in.
Which is why a goblin me is staring at normal me, and normal me at goblin him.
This would give lesser men an identity crisis for sure.
Can you imagine hearing something, but at different volumes at the same time.
Or smelling something and having it stink and not stink at the same time!
It's disconcerting to say the least.
But, if I'm going to use this in battle, I'll have to figure out how to move two of myself at the same time easily. Preferably of two different body shapes at the same time.
I punch out with both of my right fists.
Good.
I raise both of my left feet.
Good.
Both of mes turn around to start walking.
All good!
Looks like I have finally mastered this shit.
After days of crashing into... OUCH!
I was too busy thinking, and my goblin self ran into our wagon.
God damn it!
Neigh!
Marey II lifted her head from the hay she's eating to neigh at me.
I know she's laughing at me.
"Hey, remember who brought you that hay!"
Neigh!
"Just go back to eating!"
I turned my back on them, so couldn't see how hurt I was at the betrayal.
I went and leaned against one of the walls in the hold.
If I don't master this, I'll never be able to fight as a lizardman and a spider at the same time.
I won't be able to be a spider rider then.
Then again at this point I'd settle for just being able to properly control my goblin golem.
Golems, by far, are better than clones.
After the initial energy cost they are self contained, requiring no more energy, but they still have to be controlled.
Once I master this, the sky is the limit!
Anything I fully understand I can make into a golem. Heck, I could probably make a human body. Wait, I wonder....
I cancelled my goblin golem, and decided on who I was going to try to replicate.
I decided on Flora because I've known her the longest since I got here.
I concentrated on what she looks like.
I felt the energy take shape, and standing right in front of me was a butt bone naked Flora.
If only I could summon clothes without having to physically make them with my webs, I could do so many pranks.
"What the fuck."
I turned around to see Cees holding a bundle of ropes.
He quickly looked at her then me, then from me to her.
Before dropping the ropes, and swiftly leaving.
Great, that's only supposed to happen in crazy ass novels.
I just know this will come back to bite me in the ass.
Neigh!
"Laugh all you want, at least I'm not cooped up down here. Ha!"
I cancelled the golem, and headed up to the deck.
As I came up I almost ran into a water worker.
It's a blob of water that Ashera uses to do work around the ship as she steers.
There's some mopping the deck, fixing torn sails, up in the rigging doing only God knows what, and a bunch other sailor shit I'm never gonna find out what its purpose is.
And that's fucking fine with me!
I never intend to be a sailor, or go back on the water again.
This has been hell.
People say you get used to motion sickness, and those people are fucking liars.
I don't care how much it costs, we are teleporting home.
"Oh, like, hey Jay!"
Ashera said to me as she waved me over to the wheel.
"Do you, like, need more shaky powder?"
I nodded my head as I walked to her.
Since the first day on deck she noticed me upchucking, and offered me that white powder of the gods.
Shut up Patty!
This motion sickness is torture, poison would be a relief I'll have... Wait!
You're talking again!
So...? You haven't responded to me in days!
Cut the attitude. I was just... I was just worried about you.
You were knocked out, you don't know that.
You.. uh... wasn't?
So...
We... we'll talk about this later.
I turned my attention to Ashera.
"Thanks."
I said as I grabbed the powder from her, and swiftly ate it.
The relief was almost instantaneous.
"Like, no probs! Kids, like, have the shakes all the time."
"You mean other species, right?"
Children probably don't sail.
"I mean, like, I guess their kids get them too."
Great, she's just making me feel shitty.
Shut up Patty! I'm starting to miss the silence already.
I stared at Ashera's face.
She looks joyful, like she doesn't have a care in the world.
"I'm sorry."
"Huh? Why are you, like, apologizing?"
She cocked her head to the side.
"I misjudged you."
I shrugged.
"I thought you were a bad person."
"Why?"
"You sounded a little racist back at the harbour."
"What?! But I, like, respect all life! Sentient, and, like, not. All life is equal.
When I, like, devour a fish I am grateful for its sacrifice, and respect its fight for survival that I cut short to extend my own."
"What about the dark elf?"
Her face became dark.
"That's different. His, like, kind isn't really life, they're more akin to demons! The, like, stinking filth all deserve to die, and yet they sully the seas with their presence."
"So, you think only sea elves should sail?"
"It, like, says it in our name."
"But what if a sea elf wants to - I don't know - go explore the woods, should they be allowed?"
"Of course. I, like, believe in equal opportunities for all. And not just elves either, but every species that wants to, should do what makes them, like, happy."
"Okay, but just to clarify, a fire elf that's done nothing to you shouldn't be treated the same as the lowest dog."
"Now, you're, like, getting it!"
I do, I do.
You're a nice racist.
"So, how long have you been a smug...ugh... sailor?"
"All of my, like, life. I was born on one of the many floating islands."
"Wait, you were born on a flying island?!"
I can't wait to see those!
"No, floating as in, like, on the sea."
Fuck, got my hopes up for nothing.
"The flying isles are filled with a bunch of, like, snobs!"
Hopes refilled.
"Well, I'll leave you to what you're doing. Thanks again for the powder."
"'Kay, just ask for more, if you, like, need more."
"Yup."
I went to go get myself a drink of water from the water filtration system.
Which is basically two metal barrels connected via a metal tube.
The first barrel is over a flame, which is then filled with sea water, boiled to evaporate it, the steam travelled into the other barrel, and condensates it into drinkable water.
The leftover salt and minerals is then cleaned out of the barrel, and stored in troughs on the deck.
Why they'd waste it by leaving it open to the elements, I don't know.
I plopped out the cork on the side of the barrel that carries the drinkable water, filled one of the buckets near it, and plugged it back.
I went over to under one of the masts, and sat under the shade as I took big swigs of water.
So, god, huh?
What?
First question.
Can you grant wishes?
I was just wondering if you were a useful god or not, and turns out not.
Second question, why are you here? Did that bitch send you here to spy on me?
What kind of idiot fucked her?!
You do know how babies are made, right?
I already thanked you for that, we're good.
I heard her sigh in my head.
What, did her massively inflated ego finally outgrow her massive head?
I did an actual spit take, incurring a string of strange looks from the crew.
What?! I did not fuck that...
Hey!
So, you're her arm?
What then?
Come on! Tell me, tell me, TELL ME!
If you think I'm annoying now, just wait!
I'll be more annoying than a Disney original meant for kids!
You'll never get me out of your head.
Let it go will be ringing in your ears as the universe ends!
Say... Whaaaat?!
Oh.
Moving on.
Since you're her daughter and all...
Damn! I know she's a bitch, but ain't that a little too much?
You're my sister!
That's what I'm choosing to believe, again, moving on.
So,....
"MERMAID GULLS SPOTTED! PORT SIDE!"
Arjun yelled from the crow's nest.
I quickly stopped my line of questioning, and ran over to the edge of the ship to look.
On the left side of the ship is a myriad of birds.
They are swooping and diving down into the water, and coming up with fish.
Wanting a better view, I took a spyglass one of the other crewmen had on his pants.
"Hey!"
He rounded on me, but I didn't pay him much attention.
"I'll give it back later."
He looked like he wanted to argue, but I'm like seven feet, and three hundred pounds.
He's only five foot three, and being generous, only around a hundred and thirty pounds.
Yeah, he thought better than to try and start a fight with me.
He walked off mumbling about how I'd get mine.
I already know they're going to try and kill me, why would I be scared by weak ass threat.
I gazed through the glass.
Huge fish are jumping out of the water, and jumping out after them are the mermaids!
They are not Disney mermaids, that's for sure.
Instead of scales they have rubbery grey skin, they have a dorsal fin sticking out of their back, their fingers and underarms are webbed, instead of having noses they have two slits on the top of their heads, and instead of hair they had what could only be described as a pelt running the length of their backs.
Smaller mermaids (obviously kids) used their hands to cling to their mothers' pelts, as they jetted through the water.
A monstrous fish with eight fins, a gaping maw, and sharp spines sticking out of its back breached the surface of the water.
Grasping on its back were mermaids and mermen beating it with sharp coral, rocks, and other improvised weapons.
Its blood was spilling out of the numerous wounds caused by the mermaids.
With a huge splash the fish land back into the sea, knocking loose some of the mermaids in the process.
Unfortunately for it they immediately were replaced by other mermaids.
"What gives, I thought mermaids were fish!"
I stated mostly to just myself.
"Of course they're not fish!"
Flora said in response to me, as she came up from behind me.
"Can't you see that their backs are sagittal? They're mammalian."
She leaned on the railling next to me.
"What you're thinking about is merfolk, who are fish people. These are mermaids, whom are more like dolphins."
"Then why are the called mermaids? Mer means fish!"
"For the same reason whales were called fish. Both are in the water, and we eat both. Most people don't care beyond those two things."
As we are talking, Cees is giving us weird looks.
I know why, but Flora does not.
"Can I help you?"
Flora snaps at him.
He shakes his head, and walks away to his Captain.
Who at the moment was giving orders concerning the mermaids.
"It's a stirp consisting of multiple splashes, we're going to have to break some off."
Maud was saying.
"Ash, steer us starboard. We have to put some distance between us.
Errol, get the mer-barrel."
The skinny guy with an eye-patch who I... borrowed the spyglass from ran to go get a barrel, while Ashera aimed the ship away from the mermaids.
Errol, after waiting until the ship was a decent bit aways, cracked open the barrel, and poured its contents out into the sea.
A goop that was a sickly green color oozed out of the barrel.
A lesser man might have mentioned how it looks like jizz, but I am no lesser man.
"What the hell is that?"
I said aloud.
"Jizz. Probably a nazereene's, their's can last for weeks."
I looked over at Flora.
"What?!"
She rolled her eyes at me.
"It's cum, male ejaculate, pen.."
I held up my hand to stop her from going on.
"I understood you when you said jizz."
"Then, why the confusion?"
"I just don't get why their throwing that in the sea!"
"Oh, that's because mermaids are sex fiends."
"What?"
"Oh, yeah, they'll fuck anything. Just look."
She pointed towards the.
group of mermaids that had broken off of the main group.
Out of the hundreds feeding, about a little under a hundred caught the scent of cum, and was swimming at high speed after the Wavecutter.
I don't even know how they caught the scent, considering their lack of noses.
I felt some energy leave me.
That's even more fucked up.
As the first of the mermaids reached the ship, a mix of males and females without babies clinging onto them, Maud gave the order to ready the nets to be dropped.
Looking down I could see them swimming and leaping out of the water.
A few of them threw objects they were holding at us.
"NOW!"
Maud yelled, and the two massive nets on the sides of the ship plunged into the sea.
Most of them got tangle into the nets, the stragglers were picked off by the crew with harpoons, and hoisted up.
"BE CAREFUL! THESE ARE POWERFUL MONSTERS!"
Maud kept yelling, and Flora grinned at that.
I was about to comment when the nets rose into clear view.
They were all thrashing about, humping the air or their fellow mermaids.
All of the females were grinding away on net trying to entice the male sailors to get closer, and all of the males had erect dicks.
Not something I needed to see.
As the net shifted, a merman clinging to the side was revealed.
Once noticed he jumped onto the deck, and was summarily surrounded by the crew.
A swift swipe of its tail sent them flying.
Maud picked up a harpoon, and charged it.
The merman grabbed it, and whipped her back and forth.
With a loud thud she was thrown against the entryway to the cabins.
The merman locked his gaze on the last one standing near him - Cees.
Cees is holding a fisherman's hook, and is a pretty big dude.
If any of the crew could take on the little mermaid here, it would be him.
The merman sized him up as Cees swung a few threatening swings with his hook.
The merman whistled, and Cees dropped his weapon and ran.
I can't tell you why he'd do that - this being a ship and all, and that he can't possibly run far, but it didn't matter.
The merman using his arms and undulations of his body ran after him, caught up, and tackled him.
As soon as he was on top of him, the merman started to hump.
"Aaaah! Get it off! Get it off!"
Cees started to scream, and I was there in a second.
I grabbed the merman by the head, and ripped him off Cees.
I'm gonna choose to ignore the loud popping sound I heard when I did that.
Cees got up, grumbled a thanks, and limped off underdeck holding his hand over a ripped hole in his trousers.
I turn to look at the merman, only to realize it was already dead!
I had accidentally snapped its neck when I yanked it up.
It wasn't a strong monster at all, Flora was right, they (the smugglers) are just weak.
I dropped the corpse.
I started to walk away, thought better of it, went back, and ripped out the mana heart.
I don't have a water form, and I'm on the sea.
Better safe then sorry.
TV has shown me that if your at sea, you're going to end up in the sea.
And when that happens I'll be fucking ready.
As I was walking away, the crew of Wavecutter were all giving me slack jawed stares.
I threw Errol his glass back, went below deck, and headed back to the hold were I sleep.
I could've slept in the cabin with the girls, but I'm fine with sleeping with the horses, and they deserve some privacy when they can get it.
I started tossing the mana heart up and down, wondering what ability a mermaid would have.
I walked into the hold, and noticed Lyra and Eric.
Lyra had pulled one of the chests out of the wagon, and was giving Eric whet stone.
"What are you doing here?"
I asked them, and Eric is the one who answered me.
"Jurea wanted to talk with you alone, so she asked us to leave and tell you to go there. Lyra said she'd teach me how to channel mana into my weapons."
"Okay, but why didn't either of you come get me from the deck? Y'all missed seeing mermaids."
Lyra shrugged.
"We knew you'd come back here eventually, and I really don't care about seeing some fish monsters."
"Actually, they're mammals, not fish."
"Huh, really?"
She looked genuinely interested.
"Yeah, but don't worry, it's a common mistake. Most people don't know."
Key word there, is were.
"So, do you know what she wants to talk about?"
They both shook their heads no.
"Then, I'll leave y'all to the training I guess."
I left them there, and went to the cabin that they share.
I went in without knocking, and standing right in the middle of the room, as naked as the day she was born, is Jurea.
She smiled when she saw me.
"Hi, Jay."
Oh, fuck me.
Shut up Patty.