The first day. All you do is self introduction, all you hear is self introductions, all you are nervous about is self introduction, all your teachers wants is also self introduction. Being a typical teenager who isn't interested in anything, I hated this rubbish thing called self introduction. The fact is, those days I believed that I was talented in nothing and if the teacher asks to show off your talent, I could simply stand over and smile because I was good at nothing. I was a jealousy incarnate, seeing others exhibiting their talents. The only thing I had showed interest in, those days were romantic web novels. And that was something I was embarrassed at to shout out before others. And I was an incurable escapist that I fantasized too many things that will never work out for me and I used to smile thinking about greater things happening to me like in those fictions I read.
Being too much nervous, I entered my classroom, reading that big board which showed 'Grade 8 '. Yes... that was the beginning of my teenage school days. I was at age 13. I hear my Mom saying these days, that I was quite abnormal during the beginning of my teenage days. Actually, it wasn't abnormality, it was that lack of self confidence. I was scared of everything around me. I had a weird thought that everybody will harm me or they'll create troubles for me or they'll tease me because I lack talents.
The moment I entered my classroom, I looked upon for similar faces. Though I could find some, the seats beside my acquaintances were all occupied. There began my first fear. 'Will the teacher make me sit beside bad girls? will they tease me? will they bully me? will I be able to talk to them decently? '. Thinking now, I understand how stupid were my thoughts back then. But there was really a time I used to think pathetically. I was super scared of everything around me. I even was nervous to face new people, talk to them, sit beside them and so on.
I was seated in the third row, with a new student on the right and a friend of mine on the left. I was half relieved. The teacher entered the class room, started the session with prayer. My heart was beating as if it was going to burst of tension. I was scared that the person beside me might hear my hard heart beats. Teacher announced 'let's know everyone first'. Yeah... that introductory session was going to begin. "Are you nervous? ", the person beside me asked. "Of Course, I am", I replied. "Heard you are Neha. I am Rachel. Nice to meet you. " I shook hands with her. By that time, teacher had already began that 'introduction'.
I watched how beautifully some people are singing, some are dancing, some are speaking.When I envied each person showcasing their talents, I also cursed my parents for not training me well. 'If they could have admitted me to a music school or dance school since my childhood, may be I would have become a good singer or dancer by now' were my only thoughts back then.
'Next is my chance', I whispered myself.The only prayer during that moment was 'God please let the bell ring'. But it didn't. Teacher called out "next" and I stood up. I stepped swiftly towards the centre of the classroom. "Hello all. I am Neha Mary Cyril. I am studying in this school since kindergarten, so I hope many of you are familiar with me, though there are many new students. My only hobby is reading. And I don't I think I have a talent to show before you. Thank you". My fingers as well as my feet were shivering. I rushed to my seat after saying thanks that I was so relieved like my heart underwent a surgery to release tension. "Wait Neha", teacher interrupted. I was scared again. "Go back to your position". I did. "Students, since she said she doesn't have any talent, let's ask her some questions okay? ". "Yesss", students shouted. "Start asking" was heard and all the people were shouting. "One at a time " and the class was silent. One boy stood up and asked "Has anyone told you before that you are so pretty?" I was shocked to hear that because I expected some serious IQ based questions. Instantly when the question was asked, I couldn't stop blushing myself. "Gosh.. how will I answer such a question? " I thought of ways to escape but there was none.
Everybody shouted with an echo "answer.. answer " and teacher told me to answer. "Well.. yes.Though I don't believe I am pretty, people have told me". "Why don't you believe you are pretty when you are..? ", another boy asked and I was blushing again and again. These people keeps on going with these sort of questions and I am really shy to answer. My face became so red and teacher asked me whether I am uncomfortable. I nodded my head. Teacher directly asked me one question, advising me to relax myself and answer. "Can you describe the first love confession you have encountered in your life? ". Gosh... I am going to die, that's what I felt.
I thought for a second and the memories of my first confession appeared in my heart. "Well.. that was three years back, when I was in grade 5. I had no idea what love or proposal is and I haven't thought of it much since I haven't experienced. So..it was a late evening. I missed my school bus because I went to the staff room to submit an assignment. The sky was turning black and moody. I could here some sounds of lightning and thunder, happening somewhere else nearby. I was scared and I ran down to the school entrance. I had a short sight so that I couldn't see things clearly because by then, the lights were all off. I moved forward and all of a sudden, it started raining heavily. My hands were busy trying to get hold of the umbrella inside my bag while my eyes were searching for someone to help. I realised, I failed to bring my umbrella. As the surrounding was turning darker, my fear was multiplying. It was a real case of implementation of murphy's law- 'The day when it rains, you don't have an umbrella'. Out of blue, someone appeared infront of me. I couldn't see the face of that person clearly. That person walked towards me. I was really scared because I don't know the intention behind that person's showing up. I realised it was a guy when he held my hands because those fingers were so hard and that sudden grabbing made me feel like 'I have reached that cozy zone'. He opened his umbrella and we both walked towards the road. At the end, when the lights were vaguely visible to us, he gifted the umbrella to me and said a farewell. And also, a note written on a square sheet of paper was left for me. I took a cab back to my home. I was really surprised about what happened. It was during night only I opened that note he left for me. Only by night, was I able to go back to my senses. " I stopped talking with a deep sigh. I heard people, including my teacher shouting to continue. I smiled deeply.
I opened the note so eagerly. At first, I thought it would say something like 'be safe' or 'take care'. But then I thought, it was already prepared because I didn't see him writing anything infront of me. So I opened it
and read: 'I am so happy that I could meet you and I will be happy if you could accompany me here after. I will be happy if we can grow old together. I will be happy if the person I get to protect always is you. Because, I love you '. I was shocked actually because everything happened was unexpected and still I received something like this. I don't know, from whom it was.I only remember that his watch showed a red and blue light signals during 6:00 pm.I couldn't see anything else. But that was the first time I received a confession". I ended up the story with a ' thank you' and what I saw was people around me giving me a standing applause. I was shocked again. I could see a sort of tough expression on my teacher's face. "Neha.. you don't know how well you recited this story here. It was mind blowing. It was like a treat to the listeners. I haven't ever heard someone explaining a proposal this well. I am so moved". I went back to my seat. Everybody asked me about that person whom I also don't know. They wished me that one day I can find that person. I didn't wanted to find him actually. I was just thinking about thanking him if I meet him once again. If that person loved me really, why wouldn't he show up again? So many unanswered questions were flowing inside me.
The main part is not the story. It is that without a finger shivering, I spoke for more than ten minutes to my classmates and teacher. I forgot about my fear, because I was just telling a tale from my own experience, from my own life chapter. May be, I am full confident that there is nothing to be forgotten because it's my own thing. So that was the best self introduction I did and many said, it was the best self introduction they heard.I was really happy that I could speak openly with some people with out any fear. That was a different day for me. I went back home so happily, expecting many more good chapters from my teenage days.
©aysha_nazarudeen