"Dude I say old house rules and we go back to everyone bringing their own smoke" Larry complains as he reaches into his backpack and pulls out a little jar with some *oregano* in it and a little pipe in the shape of an elephant.
Victoria stares icily at Larry and in a very low voice threatens "If I have to bring my own smoke your bringing your own snacks" """"whoa whoa hold up!"""" everyone exclaimed and starts to stare at Larry till he caves. "Look I obviously didn't mean you Vicky... I'm just saying it's getting old only hitting a blunt twice when I'm the one who filled it" Larry stammered as he waved his hands and sweat rolls down his back like a waterfall, he looks to Mike for back up. Mike starts reading his character sheet with renewed interest as if his life depended on it.
Larry looks to Mari for a helping hand but she's too busy filling her nails to look at him. Tom finally speaks up "do any of you plan on doing anything or should I just start sending hordes of undead and goblins your way?"
Larry the teams thief and only human player by the name of Lando decides to get the game rolling "fine I start looking around the town for traps and pay special attention to the well" "roll a dex check.." everyone quites down when Tom asked for a check Larry rolled an eleven and grimaces...
"no traps as far as you can tell but you were over cautious and didn't see the pebble you tripped over before falling into the well roll for athletics" everyone starts laughing at Larry's pain as he rolls again and surprisingly lands on the 20 "Hahaha Nat 20 what happened to me oh crypt keeper?"
Lando manages to catch hold of a loose stone preventing a painful fall and begins shimmying his way back up.
An ominous multicolored glow begins spilling out of the well as he climbs over the ledge and the party hears a deep Garbled voice calling out the name of each member in turn "MoRtaLssss... LaNdo The thIEf, CaRl tHe clERic, LERissa the BARd, maLReE thE mOnK, ANya tHe MaGE... YoU HaVe DiSTurBeD YoG-SoTHOth fOr whAt REAsOn ShOUld I nOt tAkE yOur PaTHetIc eXCuSEs of eXiStAnce aNd SHrEd thEM AcrOSS EaCH of tHe PlAnES..."
Everyone begins staring at Toms screen with complete and utter contempt each of them trying to figure out how NOT to get wiped by an Eldritch God... Mari being the only arcana based job class begins to open her mouth before Victoria cuts her off.
"Oh great yog-sothoth, embodiment of time, the gate and the key, we are but mere mortals as you claimed and therefore knew not that you were here else we would have came bearing offerings to appease you milord we are truly insignificant and not worth the billionth of a second of your time it would take to punish us but if you would be willing to take but a moment of your eternity to tell us how we may rectify this mistake we would gratefully go upon any quest or mission you may task us with."
Everyone in the room is quiet before Mike turns to Victoria "what the f∆¢k... you telling me that YoG is a real thing?" "about as real as any other deity.. honestly didn't you plan on going to college for THEOLOGY?? seems like you should know about the bad guys.."
"DO NoT TrY tO FlAttEr Me GliB tOnGue!! BuT SeeINg AS yoU KnOW Of My GrEaTnEss I wILL SeNd yOu oN An ErrAnd" the lights begin flashing sporadically and coalesce into five rainbow colored strings attaching to each of the party members and the voice becomes much clearer in their minds.
"I shall send you to Liavara where you shall complete my ritual of summons so that I may have my vengeance against the Dreamers for polluting my plane with their meager thoughts and prayers" as the Eldritch God finished speaking a large portal appears in the sky sucking the mismatched group of adventurers into an interdimensional rift. "everyone needs to roll an endurance check..."
Mari just stares at Tom for a moment before speaking " So is this an on the fly campaign or have you been holding this on the back burner till we pissed you off? because I'm starting to think this is a death march..." "Roll the check if you live I answer" the sound of dice clattering against wood and two sharp breaths can be heard both Mike and Larry look like they swallowed a live frog.
"Can I cast stone skin to boost my endurance?" Mike says as he begins rolling another blunt. "only if I get greens off of that" Tom replies knowing that the five Mike rolled was basically the sound of his dwarf dying a gruesome death. "Screw it I'm dead and you can roll your own" Mike finished rolling then goes to make some popcorn for everyone while flipping Tom the bird.
"Well I'm dead too may as well enjoy my afterlife" Larry reaches into his backpack and pulls out the bottle of Jack his brother gave him for an early birthday gift last week. "well Ladies you make it to Liavara... all you can find of Lando and Carl is a foot with six toes and some teeth what do you do?"
The popcorn timer goes off as Mike goes into a tirade "F∆¢k you man I had my extra pinky toe removed when I was like six and if that's the most embarrassing thing you got on me then I'll talk about Ashley all night long" Tom looks out from behind his screen and smiles. "Oh I'm gonna resurrect you for that one later, Summer camp was so much fun wasn't it Larry?"
Larry snorts and chokes on his glass of whiskey and Mike starts to run at Tom prompting for a quick chase around the table before Chelsea threatens to nut check the next one to pass her.
"I don't know why you're complaining, so far I'm the only victim of the night" Chelsea mumbles under her breath as Tom picks up his phone and changes the BGM to something along the lines of future techno music. "And since you survived the portal yes this is a on the fly game"