"As your party of three walk through the streets of a strange new land you notice that almost everyone you see is asleep, you begin to feel drowsy make a saving Int roll" Victoria and Chelsea cheer as Mari groans.
"quick this planet is heavily covered in Ley lines drag me somewhere with less magic and wake me up" "no no no your sleepy... roll a Wis check to see if your words came out right.." Mari rolls a 7... "the dice seem to hate you today Mari"
Tom laughs at Mari's struggle "you mumble something about less magic and nod off, you start talking in your sleep about lesbian threesome's and fish" The table becomes dead quiet and the three girls stare at Tom with fire in their eyes Victoria speaks up first with a voice that could freeze hellfire "I dare you to say that again..."
Tom opens his mouth but before the words can come out Mari screams "You f∆¢king pig!! if you dare repeat those words I'll spread rumors all over school about you having a baby d!¢k!"
Chelsea blushes, Mike's jaw hit the table, and Larry just sat there and began looking back and forth between Mari and Victoria.. Larry being the 'Genius' of the group asks "what has you two so pissed?"
Victoria cuts her eyes at Larry before explaining. "I borrowed my older brother's laptop so Mari and I could work on a biology project about zombie movies and he didn't close all of his browser tabs... Tom was helping us come up with a way for the 'virus' to spread and opened the browser to Google how many different parasites transfer bloodborne pathogens... the video started playing instantly and it was disturbing for everyone.. never ever ever repeat this conversation unless you want me to give you a second circumcision"
Mike finally regains the ability to speak again " but why fish?" Tom starts to cry from laughing too hard and barely chokes out "just look up Ef∆ckt and you will become the most enlightened man on earth my friend" As Mike and Larry pull their phones out Chelsea walks away saying something about needing something to eat and runs up stairs to raid Tom's fridge.
Moments later she runs back down the stairs almost breaking her neck "Tom's dad just pulled down the driveway!!" ""shit!!"" "everyone grab a Febreze! Larry put the bottle up, Mike light a black&mild NOW!!" Tom runs upstairs while spraying himself with axe before he goes to stall his dad at the door.
"Hey Pops! you're home a few days early did they cancel the conference?" Tom's father Richard is a giant of a man, he works for NORAD as an analyst in the anti-drone security defense force so most of his work can be done from home on his computer, with the odd conference every couple of weeks.
"Actually Tommy I'm going to be out of town for a while they gave me some time to get things settled for you while I'm away... so we are going to have to talk about the game nights you and you're buddies been having in the basement.. by the way if a cop just rolls down the driveway I hope you're smart enough not to open the basement Windows I could smell the reefer the second I opened my car door.."
"uh father I know not of what you speak? I would never allow drugs in the house the D.A.R.E lion taught me better than that.." Tom stammers out causing his father to frown...
"Listen son I'm not yelling at you.. hell I would prefer you do these things at home where I don't have to worry about you getting arrested, just listen to me for a few minutes then I'm going to go inside pack a few things and leave there has been an issue and I'm going to be gone for a few months"
Richard pushes a debit card into Tom's hand "Now look I know you practically raised yourself after your mother passed.. and I basically let you do what you want so long as you stay alive and out of trouble, your grades are good and you rarely skip school but I'm going to need you to be even more responsible I'm going to be gone and I can't tell you exactly how long because I don't even know.. just know that I love you and I will try to reach out to you when I can"
Richard pulls Tom into one of his patented spine crunching hugs ruffles his hair and runs inside to grab a few things, as he walks back out he gives Tom his lucky charm.. a Green colored stone with a few words carved into it hanging on a leather thread... it was the first gift he ever gave to Tom's mother. this all happened so fast Tom couldn't even speak, his father never mentions mom and that's the most he's said at one time for as long as Tom could remember.
Richard Lanier was a man of few words and became a man of no words after his wife, Tom's mother passed away so when he held an actual conversation with him it felt almost surreal. As his father's truck rolled back down the driveway Tom just stared blankly until he felt a light slap on the back of his head and an arm wrap around his neck in a poorly executed choke hold as a certain girl with a slight French accent whispered into his ear "are you ok Tom? everyone downstairs is freaking out and I don't see your dad's beat up Ford?"
Before she could react Tom reaches back and tickles her sides forcing her to let go so he could wipe his face quickly.
"Yeah my dad just left.. he's gonna be gone for a while so we can get back to the game" As Tom heads inside he remembers the stone in his hand and reads the phrase carved into it 'though you shine brighter than the sun you will never burn'.
"You know what? let's just start a do over I don't feel like killing all your characters tonight.." The boys begin to cheer when they hear the good news and Larry pulls his bottle back out "Let's get HAMMERED!"