*Addie*
I stand up shaking with the effort. God, it hurts. Everywhere hurts. I knew coming back here after everything would be a mistake, but I never knew that their hatred for me would go this far. I get to my feet and limp to the sink of the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror. Bruises are already forming on my face, it is puffed up and swelling on the right side. I look like I just went a few rounds with a boxer instead of a flock of plastic Prada sluts. Blood flows freely down the side of my face and instead of cleaning myself up and limping out of there I take the time to study my reflection. If they knew the truth, the truth, this wouldn't be happening. The tears slip out before I can bite them back, but instead of wiping them as I usually might have, I let them flow. I pull off my jacket and shove it into my bag, each movement causing a ripping pain through my side. It won't stop me today, nothing will stop me today. It's time my former best friends learn what their anger has caused. It's time for them to learn the most valuable lesson of all.
I limp out, knowing damn well that my entire back is exposed thanks to my tank top. The deep scars are visible to everyone in the hall. They all stop speaking when I get closer, but I can hear their gasps and whispers when they see my back. The tears keep falling as I make my way to the cafeteria, and I find them easily. Their table is in the middle of the room, and as I enter the room goes deathly quiet, everyone waiting to see what I am about to do. I had been fighting back from the day I came back three months ago. I thought I had dealt with the biggest demon in my life but come to find out by trying to save the three in front of me, I had created three more to torment me. I limp over and I dig out the thumb drive from my pocket and I slap it down on the table a little harder than I meant to. It causes another ripping pain through my side. I meet a pair of eyes in front of me, eyes that used to look at me with adoration. They only radiate hatred now. That's okay, he was about to learn.
"You win," I tell him and even I can hear the defeat in my voice. "You finally got what you wanted Zeke. I won't be coming back. Ever. You will never see my face again. Before that though, allow me to leave you with the truth. The reason I left. The reason I couldn't come home. The real reason. Do with it what you want, I won't be around to care anymore."
Brilliant green eyes flash angrily at me. "I don't give a shi-"I wave my hand and laugh sadly.
"You will. Or fuck maybe you won't. I don't care." I hold his gaze and I memorize each feature, even in anger he was beautiful. "Just…. remember…. You can't save them all Superman." I tell him, watching as his anger cracks for a fraction of a second. He was always the hero, always trying to save us from whatever it was we were battling. I never let him help me. I never told him the truth. I deserved his anger but hopefully, now it would be justified for only lying to protect him, not abandoning him. I turn from his face then and meet the amber eyes next to me. They don't hold the same level of anger, he just looks hurt and betrayed. I hated that look, that look that I knew I had caused.
"The road to hell is paved with good intentions, Mason. I tried to protect you and I'm sorry you got hurt in the process." His eyes widened a fraction and I shook my head and met the last pair of eyes I needed to see. Blue, brilliant blue the color of the ocean in the night. They look dark but if you really look you can see them sparkle and shine like moonlight. I say nothing to Liam. I don't need to. I never did. He sees it all on my face and I turn and limp back out. Ignoring the ragged gasps behind me and I rush out the door. I can't stay there. I can't see their faces anymore. I can't see them anymore. It will only weaken my resolve.
Mason always held my heart the tightest, knowing it was important. Liam always knew what I needed before I did, keeping me sane and stable. Zeke was my armor, my shield against the world. Now? Now I had nothing and no one. A fitting end to a shit show of a story.
I know that I am not really the best storyteller, there are a lot of things that I wish I could forget and there are even more that I wish I could remember. I left school and I went home, to the place that had been my worst nightmare last year. I didn't go inside though, I went out to the one place that wasn't tainted, that didn't have bad memories. It was this old shack of a tree house my Father had built when my mom had gotten pregnant with my older brother and it had passed down to me and eventually the boys. Looking up at it now, it was in a sad state, still, it was solid and would hold me. I climbed up the ladder and pushed the trap door up. I crawled in and shut the door, looking around. There were plastic totes in the corner, and I crawled over to them, gingerly opening them with shaking hands. All of my happy memories were in these boxes, life before hell took over and my life became a shit show. I tugged out some of the pictures and started flipping through them, the sadness and happiness mixing together in a blur of emotions. The tears slipped down my face, just one at first before the faces in the photos blurred into swirls of color I couldn't decipher. When I got to the ones that had the boys in them, I started to sob, harder and harder with each picture. We were all so fucking happy. I loved them more than anything in this world, more than even they knew. The utter despair I was feeling filtered into a rage and I flung the stack of pictures out into the room, then the next and the next. When the box was empty, I moved to the next and did the same, flinging out memories like I could make them all fly from my head just as easily.
I wondered if the boys would look through the jump drive, I wondered if they would see the truth. I wondered if they would save me this time. I wondered it all as I pulled out the last box, pulling out my tools to relieve the pain. A bottle of vodka, a note, and a brand-new razor blade. It was over, I had survived but I suddenly felt no need to continue.