*Mason*
I was sitting at my computer, looking down at my hands. My thumb rubbing over the thumb drive. I was nervous. What was on there that was so important? What had really happened? Unlike Zeke, I never really believed she had just left us, without no word or note. I knew her, probably even better than the others. They were all about the fun and making her smile, I was the one that needed to know how she worked, what made her tick, what words made her happy and what made her sad. I knew her. Her behavior leading up to her leaving was off, she was erratic and nervous. She was scared. I thought something was going on then and I admit that at first, I was thinking she had just been building up to leaving.
"Don't tell me you are actually going to watch that shit," Zeke said from behind me. I bristled and turned in my chair looking at him for a long moment.
"Yeah, I am. I mean we always wanted to know why. It will either answer those questions or it will give us more ammunition. Right?" I told him but the last words burned my tongue. I hated that he had put her through so much. I hated that he had turned his back on her without even giving her a chance to tell us the truth. I hate that we hadn't had her back. The look on her face today scared me. She was…resigned. Like she had given up and accepted the fact that she had given up.
"Look, Zeke, I get it. I do. More than you know. But… I have to know. I have to know why I am hating her. I can't just do it blindly. I need to know why." I told him, looking over to our friend to see if he would side with me or Zeke. Liam let out a sigh.
"I'm normally with you on most things Zeke, we both are, but I got to say... I am kind of curious myself. I want to know why our girl just got up and ran. She…she wasn't one to…. well whatever she was then doesn't matter but I am curious. I want to know. So, let's see the fucking shit and be done with it. Bury her if we have to."
Zeke's jaw tightened and he looked between us. I was expecting him to argue but he just let out a grunt and waved his hand at the computer. I nodded once and turned around, looking down at the little thumb drive in my hands. I had given her this one, it was a unicorn. I thought it would make her laugh cause to get to it you had to take its head off. She had laughed and hugged me, thanking me for it. Looking at it now, it looked almost like she had kept it in her hands, rubbing her thumb over it repeatedly. The paint on one side was worn off in a smooth pattern. I shook my head and pulled off the head, putting the end into the slot and waited. The window popped up and in it were a total of 50 videos. The first was labeled 'For the boys' I clicked on it and immediately the screen was filled with her face. She was sitting in her bedroom, looking very much like the day we had last seen her the year before, not that she had changed much. I hit play and she was sniffling. I sat back and watched.
-"Hey, guys. I don't know if you're ever going to see this, or when you're gonna see this. I have to guess that I wouldn't show you this unless it was after…well…after. I know you're going to hate me, and I don't blame you. I would hate one of you if you pulled what I am about to. I just- I need you to know that I love you all. I love you all so fucking much. You are my best friends and if I am being honest, you're my first loves too. Mason, if you're seeing this, I need you to know that I didn't leave because I wanted to. I didn't leave because of anything you said or did. I know you will blame yourself for not seeing the signs or not seeing the truth on my face. I know you will sit there and try to wrack your brain for the logical reasons why I am doing this. I know that you will blame your big beautiful brain, but it isn't your fault. I kept this secret because I knew it would destroy you, all of you. I just need you to know that. Liam, I need you to know that you are my happy place. You are the light in my life when all I ever saw was darkness. You were the reason I could still smile and laugh. I mean you all were, but the reality is that even your sunshine can't stop this. It can't penetrate this cloud. It's not your fault." She took a huge breath, wiping her face and then looking back to the camera. "Last but never least, Zeke. There is so much that I want to tell you. So much that I need to say that I just can't put into words. You were my armor when I needed it most, you were… so much more. But you couldn't save me from this one. You could not have saved me." She said the last part with force. "You can't save them all Superman." She sniffled and choked back a sob. She sat there for a minute and then she continued. "There's so much more I want to say. So, fucking much, but there's no time. I'm leaving tonight. I have to go into hiding and you guys can't know why or where I am going. I am trying to keep you all safe. I just hope I can come back. I just hope like hell that you can forgive me if I do. But most of all I think I just hope you guys can be happy. You never needed me. Not like I needed you. I was the weakest link and I failed in my own ways but know that…. Know without a doubt that I loved you, and I made the best choice I had at the time. The videos on this drive, they will give you the answers. The first and last are the most important, for you to see…see it all." She sighed and she looked back at her room and then back to the camera, the tears on her face marring her features but she still tried to smile before she ended the video.-
I sat back in my seat and fought my own tears as I closed out the video and I started up the second. It was in her room but from a different angle. I hit play and settled in to watch. It was from a couple of years before she had left if the state of her room was anything to go by. Yet, looking at the two figures on her bed I knew that it was in the summer. She and Liam were lounging across her bed, listening to music. "I remember that," Liam muttered behind me I wasn't there, so I didn't, but I watched anyway.
-They were laughing and giggling over something they were listening to. It was dark out, judging from the windows. After a few minutes, she laughed a bit and shoved his shoulder. "You have shit tastes in music Li, you know that?" he let out a noise in mock hurt "You wound me! My tastes are excellent!" She laughed again and shook her head. She looked over to her nightstand and huffed out a sigh. "It's getting late, you should go home, you know how dad is about having you guys in my room now." Liam sighed in annoyance and rolled over onto his side. He seemed like he was going to say something, but a loud thud came from off camera and he hopped up and made his way to the window. "Text us later, babes." He said before slipping out the open window. No doubt scurrying down the tree we had been using since we were kids to get in and out of her room. She watched him leave and then started pacing her floors, wringing her hands like she was nervous about something. Was it Liam or something else? It didn't take long for that answer to become clear. Her bedroom door slammed open and in walked her dad. "Whoring around again huh?" he slurred, obviously drunk "Don't think I didn't see that little punk sneaking out. I knew he was here." She was standing on the opposite side of the room, her back straight and her fists clenched at her sides. "Dad, come on you know that is not…" she started to tell him but he was already moving, his fist half raised and I watched on in horror as he crossed the room and punched her in the stomach, causing her to double over and hit her knees. The sound she made caused my own breath to freeze in my chest. I wanted to pause it, turn it off but it was like a car crash, I couldn't look away as he continued, this time kicking her in the stomach repeatedly. It went on like this for what seemed like hours, but it was only a few minutes before he started to stumble in his drunken stupor. He finally took a step back "You are a fucking disgrace, just like your slut bag mother." He sneered at her before leaving the room. The video ended. So, she must have edited it.-
"Show me the last video," Zeke said into the silence, his voice vibrating, and I didn't have to look at him to know that he was shaking with rage. Hell, I was too. Liam said nothing but I could hear his breath, coming in ragged pants that sounded like he was in pain. I had so many questions but I did as he asked, and I started up the final video. It started much like the first, he was beating her, but something changed. Before it was even over, I was up and out of my seat running to my bathroom and puking into the toilet.
*Zeke*
Rage.
That is the only thing I can feel as I watch the video. Mason was losing his lunch in the bathroom and I don't blame him. I would too if it weren't for the rage burning through my stomach. I glance over at Liam and his face is wet with tears, but I know from the look in his eyes he is feeling just as much rage as I am. There is also another feeling tearing away at me, just beneath the surface. Fucking guilt. If I had just given her five minutes to explain, the last few months wouldn't have gone the way they had. If I had just pushed aside my pain and let her speak, she could have told us everything, but I was a selfish son of a bitch. She had broken my heart, but what was on the screen was breaking it more than anything I thought possible. My brave girl. She had shouldered this without breaking. She had pushed through it all and even this, even the horror movie on the screen. There was so much blood, so fucking much and I didn't know if even I could stomach it. I stood on shaking legs and walked over. Pausing the video and putting my hands on the back of Mason's chair. I gripped it hard, thankful it was a padded seat so I wouldn't just snap it in half. The weight of every decision I had made since she walked back into my life was crushing. I don't know if I can ever make it up to her. I don't know if I can ever make that better, but for now, I focused on the rage I was feeling. I grabbed my jacket, looked at Liam and then to the bathroom door where Mason was coming out.
"We have to go get her." Mason was saying and I nodded, not even waiting as I walked out the door and down to my truck. I'm not entirely sure if I am capable of crying but if I was, I would be before it was all said and done. I would crawl over glass and fire for her at that moment. Knowing that she had faced it all alone, knowing that she had left so we didn't have to see what that bastard had done to her. He had broken her; he had finally pushed her too far. I waited in my truck as the guys climbed in. We said nothing. We didn't need to. We were going to get her. We were going to save her this time.