I can't believe Jandi suggested that I should use the Emperor. I can't do that ..I can't use him.
"Oh my god, why did she even think that?" I asked myself as I walk toward the maids quarters with the intention of going into Jandi's rooms and dragging her out to mine so that she will explain to me why she said those things to me and then run off after telling me she'll give me some time and space to think ..think what? Of course I won't do it. The answer is a very big no!
I entered Jandi room but she's not in so I decided to look for her in the kitchen and there she is, immediately after acknowledging the servants greetings ..I grab her hand and begin leading us to my room. I stopped instantly when my eyes met two very fair skinned women coming out of my room.
"They're the women that i told you Kyung-sook and the elders selected to be the Emperor's concubine ..I wonder what they're doing here, maybe they're here to ask for your permission." Jandi whispers to my ears and the way she said it, she want it to get to me.
I walk up to them then begin looking at them to explain why they were in my room but before they could explain ..Min Yonghwan walk up front and said..
"I'm sorry Empress ..I thought you were in and they were sent by the Emperor so I just let them in." Min Yonghwan Explain and I told him not to ever let anyone inside my room without asking for my permission first then I turn my attention to them, wanting to ask them why the Emperor asked them to see me but I didn't. I don't want to hear them telling me that the Emperor asked them to see me so that I will give them permission to become his whore and because of that I hissed in their face, turn to Min Yonghwan and said to him that I don't want to see the two women inside my room and then I walk inside my room with Jandi besides me.
Immediately I entered my room, grab my pillow and throw it away in anger.
"So now you're going to do it ..right? Jandi ask which make me want to yell at her but I didn't because I know she's saying this for a good course. I sigh, sit on my couch, look up at Jandi then say to her..
"I won't do it." I said but Jandi didn't say anything ..I don't even know if she's going to leave because I'm not going to do what she wants ..what she thinks is the only solution.
"I can't do it Jandi, I can't use him and besides the Emperor is smart ..he will find out if I use him which I won't. I can't."
"You can't because you love him Lady Nana." Jandi said while looking me in the eyes as if daring me to deny it.
"I love him ..I love him Jandi." I said to myself and Jandi. I know that I've fallen for the Emperor but I don't know when and I don't how it happened .. All i know is that somehow it happened ..It just did and I'm actually not fighting myself for loving him.
"Then use your love for him and do the right thing ..it's not like I'm asking you to kill him or steal all his wealth, it for every person's good. Lady Nana, no one know what Kyung-sook is planning and that's bad ..real bad, It could be that she's planning your death, mine or even the Emperor's ..yes, it's possible."
"What do I do Jandi, I don't know what to do."
"For now I want you to be happy. I'm happy for you Lady Nana, I'm happy because you love your husband ..Love him and at the same time try to let him see the true colour of his godmother but I have to go."
"Don't go ..please Jandi, don't go." I plead but somehow I already that her mind is made up but I still couldn't stop my heart from grieving when she said.. "I'm sorry lady Nana but I have to ..for my grieving father. " and then she walked out to go pack her things.