The journey back to the inn was very quiet. Along the road, Qianru recalled what had happened.
She didn't know that she has this side in her. All this time, she wasn't someone who would provoke a conflict with the other, she would choose to say nothing and kept her opinion for herself.
But, there was something within her that struggling. She felt uneasy about her situation and her own heart.
And all of this discomfort came from one namel; Xiao Jun.
Qianru closed her eyes when she called his name in her heart, the name sliced her heart painfully, as the memories of their childhood and adulthood were flooding before her mind, kept repeating the same images.
The sun had set when they finally arrived at the inn and Jinse woke her up softly, thinking that her mistress was falling asleep.
"Tell the coachmen to take another round." Qianru said without opening her eyes.
Despite the young maid confusion she still delivered Qianru's order and not long after that the carriage started to move again, strolling around the city.
There was no one who was waiting for her inside the inn, thus there was no need for her to rush back as well.
This cycle of her life repeated again.
Xiao Jun was too busy with his own matter, he wouldn't tell her even single information, thinking she wouldn't be any of help.
And then she would wait for him to comeback without knowing when exactly he was going to return. That was her life in the Azura.
That was exactly like this.
Both of them kept repeating the same circle and Qianru had been so tired to roaming around in this relationship.
She thought she would be strong enough to stay beside him, she thought her love was enough for both of them. But, love should go both way, or it would be fading with time.
Qianru still could feel her care for Xiao Jun. But, the sorrow and the feeling of being abandoned ate her alive, clouding her mind.
Days before they left Azura, Xiao Jun was changed. He cared for her, giving a hope that everything would be finally work for them, but then, he acted this way again.
Having the feeling of being given hope and then realized it was only for naught, was something that was so hard to bear.
In the matter of fact, Xiao Jun had warned her since the beginning of their marriage that this was only for political sake. But, after two years being together under his name and all the things, which had done between them recently, had made her hope flew high only to be thrown to the ground with false anticipation.
"Princess…" Jinse shook Qianru's hand gently, woke her up from her complicated thought. "Should we go for another round?"
Jinse's concerned face came into her sight the moment she opened her eyes.
Night had fallen and the torches had lit up as its light flickered on the curtain. They had stopped in front of the inn, again.
"Let's go inside." Qianru said, sounded very tired.
"Yes princess…"
The carriage entered the gates of their inn and dropped Qianru and Jinse in front of its entrance door.
Jinse got off from the carriage first and reached out her hand to help Qianru alighted when someone's hand stretched out and grabbed Qianru's hand first before she did.
"Prince…" Jinse startled, but Xiao Jun cut her sentence and dismissed her.
Qianru didn't expect him to be there as well, there was a slight shock crossed her face, but it was gone as soon as it appeared and her expression resumed its calmness as she let Xiao Jun helped her to get down from the carriage.
"I assumed you will comeback an hour ago, where did you go?" Xiao Jun asked her when they walked side by side toward their chamber.
"And I assumed you will comeback three days ago, where did you go?" Qianru blurted out her question without even thinking about it twice.
Her question made Xiao Jun taken aback, but it stunned Qianru as well. However, she didn't regret her sudden boldness.