'I always get lost inside my mind'
Chapter 01 - He Killed Me
Kou's POV
I transfer to St. Nazareth Academy just this month because of problems I have with my previous school. I have a little hope that this school will be different from the others but it is still boring.
"Hey Asahina!" Arai said while running towards me.
Arai is a guy who devoted himself in sports, a typical nice guy.
He is the first to talk to me after I transferred.
The class already ended why is he looking for me?
"We have a project so we are all going to Hana's Apartment!" Okazaki said as he claw his hand in my back.
"Will you not touch me?" I said removing his hands of me.
"Oh, I'm sorry" Okazawa said sarcastically and with a grin.
Okazawa is annoying as always.
"Stop it Okazaki, I'm sorry Asahina, we will go in my place to do a project so I hope you can come!" Hanazawa explained
She's cute.
A project huh...
It is my job to help them since I'm their group. It will be rude to ditch.
"Alright" I answered and Hanazawa smiled.
"Lets buy some food before we go" Arai said while talking to Okazaki
Hanazawa is now talking to a boy who just entered the room.
"You're going too right?" Hanazawa said to the boy who entered the classroom, he is holding a book and wears glasses.
"Yes" I remember he is Shinjiro Mizuki
Shinjiro looked at me for a while. Why I suddenly feel chills in my spine?
We head to the train station after we bought foods to eat.
We are a group of six person.
"This place is full of crowd as always" Hanazawa said and looked at us with worry.
I hate this kind of places...
You are forced to get close to someone you don't know and even like.
"Are you fine Shinjiro?" Arai ask trying to look away.
"Yeah, I can still breath" Shinjiro answered staring at Arai.
The truth our position is like this = Me and Arai is pinning Shinjiro, Hanazawa Okazaki and is facing each other and Sakuma is quite far from us.
The trains continue to go and we are still in this awkward position.
Arai is quite embarrassed.
Shinjiro is a guy but a quite timid guy to be exact.
He is smaller than me and Arai and most of all he looks really a lot weaker. Though it is still not a reason to be embarrassed. Arai is quite sensitive.
After a few minutes I noticed Shinjiro looking at me.
"Why?" I asked looking at him
I wait for him to respond but he didn't.
The train stopped afterwards.
Finally we are here.
"We can move finally" Okazaki said
I also move a bit to give space to Arai and Shinjiro.
Then before I notice I'm tripping!
"Please be careful!" Hanazawa said
"Shinjiro watch out!" Hanazawa said to warn Shinjiro but it is already late.
People came rushing towards the train exit causing me to tripped since we are near the door.
Well this is awkward. I fall on top of a guy.
"You're heavy..." Shinjiro muttered
I moved a bit to have Shinjiro stand.
His eyes I can clearly see it now that he isn't wearing his glasses.
"Are you fine?" Hanazawa asked while trying to help Shinjiro to stand up.
After I Shinjiro stood I also stand up and fix myself.
"Yeah I'm fine but can I ask for help to find my glasses?" Shinjiro said
I can tell he is having a hard time without his glasses.
"Found it but I guess this is a problem" Sakuma said holding a piece of broken glasses.
"Ah... this is really a problem" Hanazawa said
"I will pay for just tell me the price" I said feeling a little guilt.
Shinjiro is looking at me but to be honest I don't know if how clearly he can see.
"Don't mind it, I will not accept it since I'm also at fault" Shinjiro said
Then fine, I won't force you to accept.
"Fine I won't bother myself if you don't want to" I said and I realize that I can save some money because of that.
We started to walk towards the exit of station then I notice him walking in a really weird way.
"Hey Shinjiro without your glasses you can't really see right?" Hanazawa said looking worried
"Really?" Arai said quite shocked.
"I'm going to have little hard time" Shinjiro said while trying to look at us.
"If it is alright with you I can help" Arai said offering some help.
Shinjiro looked quite unsure at first but the accepted Arai's offer.
"Thanks " Shinjiro said and Arai hold Shinjiro's wrist to help him walk.
Maybe it should be me right?
Well he is getting help anyway it doesn't matter who.
"Kurumi-chan where is your room?" Salina asked staring around.
"Just minute..." Hanazawa said
Hanazawa entered a room. I guess she is fixing somethings in her room
"Please enter" Hanazawa said after a minute.
"This place is sure big as always" Okazaki said looking around Hanazawa's room
"Hana-chan you are rich aren't you?" Arai asked
"No, it's not really that big" Hanazawa said shyly with a hint of blush in her face.
This place is big... and she's living alone?
God is quite unequal.
I'm looking around the place and Arai notice Shinjiro is just touching anything around him.
"Shinjiro I'm here" Arai said and get Shinjiro.
"I'm sorry" Shinjiro said apologizing to thin air.
Arai laugh a little and continue to guide Arai.
...
"Shall we begin?" I asked
This is talking too long
"Sure Asahina!" Hanazawa said and she let out the materials for our research.
*Almost three hours passed
"It's finished!" Hanazawa said looking happy.
"This is really hard for someone like me, I don't think I can finished a reasearch project like this alone!" Arai said
"Yes, cause you are a muscle head" Okazaki said laughing
"Shinjiro did a great job bringing the books it really helped a lot" Sakuma said
"Thank you!" Shinjiro replied
The continuous exchange of compliment is going for a while.
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Why they look so happy?
What's so happy about this?
This is bad... It is going to happen again.
Author's point of view
"Are you guys afraid of dying?" Asahina said and everyone looked worried all of a sudden.
Shinjiro has a frightening look at his face. It is calm but it has a hint of malice.
"What are you saying Asahina?" Hanazawa asked while smiling.
"I wonder how it feels to die" Asahina said and smile.
"What are you talking about" Okazaki asked now looking worried a lot
"It is sickening" Asahina whispered and he stood up.
"Your all kind" Asahina said and smiled
The other people on the room is carefully analyzing the situation.
"Where are you going Asahina?" Arai asked while chasing at Asahina
"Outside" Asahina answered
Asahina is headed outside of Hanazawa's apartment
"Hey stop!" Okazaki said
"You know I'm not afraid to die" Asahina said and the others kept quiet.
Asahina vanished in their sight and after a few moments of shock they manage to regain their minds
"Call the police" Hanazawa said and while looking nervous.
All of them followed Asahina at the apartment rooftop
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"You are all intelligent, but cops can't stop me" Asahina said and stand to the rooftop edge.
The eyes of the youngsters are worried are mix of worried and scared.
Though Shinjiro is different.
"Please stop that Asahina, that's dangerous" Hanazawa said trying to stop Asahina.
Asahina is staring Right staring to the apartment grounds.
The place has almost 30 floors
I can't imagine how high it is.
"You know you're nice Asahina, don't die in front of us" Okazawa said unintentionally
"So you're asking if I can die somewhere else." Asahina said while looking straight into Okazawa's eyes.
Okazawa looks scared.
Asahina is thinking that he is not worried to me after all he all
Humans are very fragile... so am I
Humans only have a cycle that needs to follow.
Birth - life - death
"Stop it Asahina, we can't take to lose a friend!" Arai said and Asahina looked quiet
"Friend?" Asahina asked
"yes a friend, we are very happy you're with us, I know it might be selfish but will you stay with us" Arai said looking worried.
Friends?
The words echoed in Asahina's ears.
"No I can't... you know it's really selfish for you to ask that to me" Asahina said and smile
Then a clever thought passed into Asahina's mind.
"Will you please kill me?" He asked
'I wonder who's I'm talking too.
Is it God? Or them' Asahina thought
Arai looked scared and shocked.
Hanazawa started crying after those words.
Asahina's Point of View
"It's so annoying and it's irritating listening to your voice" Shinjiro said making all of his friends shocked
"Shinjiro" Hanazawa called looking worried
"Are you not going to stop me or beg to spare my life?" I ask him.
"I won't do that and why would I?" Shinjiro said while looking at me
I know he can't see well but his eyes are glaring at me.
"What are you saying Shinjiro?" Hanazawa asked
"You will just make him worst" Okazaki said
"You are not afraid of dying huh you say. Is that the reason why you are going to kill your self?" Shinjiro said
"Every day you need to do every single thing all over again, everybody surrounds you keeps smiling... you're beginning to think you're different" Shinjiro added and let out a sigh.
"Yes, I can understand you. I'm thinking of the same way but I'm different to you I prefer to live and enjoy it with everyone else" Shinjiro said with straight face.
"That's a dumb answer, I'm not afraid to die... I want to find a world for me... I don't to make a fool by everyone!" I said like an idiot
In every single day
You're life isn't yours really...
It's for someone else
And I hate that fact
You only exist because someone needs you.
Or you're a piece of their life
It's frustrating
"You're not afraid to die?" Shinjiro asked to me
What's on his mind?
"You know I'm not afraid to kill someone else" he said and slowly he walks towards me and PUSHES ME
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What is he thinking?
"Shinjiro! Why did you do that?" Arai shouted
I can clearly hear their voice...
"Asahina!!!" Okazaki said
Am I going to die now?
This is what I wanted to happen right?
I wonder what it looks like to where I'm going.
"You're going to die" Shinjiro's voice said
He killed me...
He really did it...
*Laugh
Why?
How can he?
He can understand me
But he says he is different
On what way?
On what way he different?
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"Brother!" I hear a faint girl's voice
"Brother!" It's much louder than earlier
Is that you Yui?
"Kou!" my mom's voice said
...
My family
My family is sad
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"Why you leave us Ayato?" Misaki said
Did I do something wrong?
Did I wasted my life?
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I want to die so badly...
Is that the wrong thing about me?
...
I'm scared
I'm really scared
"Save me!"
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I have a consciousness?
Am I alive?
I feel some pain in my body
Do dead people feel pain?
I guess not...
I slowly open my eyes...
"Asahina! " Hanazawa said standing in front of me along with Arai and Okazaki
"Thank goodness you're safe Asahina!" Arai said with a relief
"I'm going to beat you up if you're recovered!" Okazaki said his eyes with tears
...
They are all here?
"Where am I?" I asked
"You are in the hospital" Tatsuki said
It looks like.
But how come I'm here.
"You fell in a big foam... but you will still feel some pain " Hanazawa said
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So that's why
"Where's Shinjiro?" I asked
That guy
Does he knew that I'm going to be alive that's why he did it?
He said he can understand me... Maybe hr know what is he doing to me.
Someone opens the door
"Shinjiro!" Hanazawa said
"Are you fine?" Okazaki asked ask
"Yes" Shinjiro said and stare at me
I do get it now, what's he is trying to make me realize...
He want to be happy with everyone so that everyone around him can be happy
"I do get it now, thanks..." I said
And he stare at me...
"You are fine now Asahina-kun?" He said
"Yeah, I'm fine..." I said
"Um why are you thanking me, I just try to kill you" Shinjiro said
"No, you know that I'm going to be saved... that's why you made me realize something so important... in afraid to die now thanks to you" I explain
"He's right, you also scared us to death" Hanazawa said
"To be honest, I didn't know that there were already rescuers below..." Shinjiro said
He didn't know?
That means...
"So you're trying to kill me really?!!!" I said and he smile
"You said you want to die right?" Shinjiro said
"Are you an idiot? What if I really get killed?" I ask and he stares at me
"You're still alive anyway" Shinjiro said
"Shinjiro that's not funny..." Hanazawa said
"Shinjiro is scary" Arai said
"Remember what I said?" Shinjiro ask to me
"You are not afraid to kill?"
"It's true that I'm not really afraid to kill..." He whispered
"Don't kill me again!" I said
"Then treasure you're life" he said and leave.
He is annoying
And here I am really thanking him?
He scared me to death!
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"I can't believe Shinjiro" Arai said
"I know he is surprisingly honest but I don't think she can put it that way" Hanazawa
"But you know Ayato, you are talking to us now more openly. I'm happy we are happy" Arai said
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I'm talking to them
And I'm feeling comfortable
Is it joy that I am feeling?
This is his friends huh?
Maybe she really did kill me somehow.
(Chapter End)