Two years have gone, I heard Mike resigned from his job.
I stayed in mine, I got a raise like I wanted to but I'm still an assistant. Still single, although not exactly mingling. I had time to review my feelings. Sorted out some deep rooted pain I was hiding.
My Ex after four years, tried to add me in my social media. Thinking we could be friends again.
My friend is getting married this June and she invited all her friends, and surely enough the Ex will be there because he is a common friend of ours. In my head I don't want to go, because it might be awkward for his new girlfriend, and in my heart, my friends will be there, and my close friend is getting married. Even though they're my friends, to them I"m still a 36 year old Woman, who can't keep a Man, or who doesn't date anymore.
I was reserving my friend acceptance of the Ex, his name still looming, waiting to be deleted, blocked or worse. I might delete my account.
I can still remember his words, "I don't love you anymore, why can't you just let me be, I want to be happy".
He was like a cagged bird, wanting to be let loosed. He flew away because of me. I let him leave in the first place, but I trusted him that he was building our future, from his job at a tech company in Los Angeles.
He was the one who cheated, and he just off and told everyone because I changed so he dated other women. Hello, you were the one who changed first!. I was left behind to lick my wounds, I cried months and days, on my Mothers arm, burying my face in shame. He was my first boyfriend, my first kiss, my first sexual experience.
I was thinking about all the things he did, and now looking at his name, Nicholas Alberto Daig has sent you a friend request. I was disgusted, I felt like a scorned woman. I thought I was over him, until this day. I erased all the likes, comments, and joined groups I was in, and I deleted all his photos. All our photos together, my diary, my journals, even my future plans, basically all my "Being" I had them erased.
I changed my hair color and cut my hair short, he doesn't like me drinking so I drank a lot when we broke up. I partied, I sulked in my bed, I slept with other guys.
Maybe he didn't click request, maybe his girlfriend did this to spy on me. Troll me, and ask me if I want to see him again, pretending she is him, so she could quarrel with me.
Perfect! that's what a crazy girl would do, she is I heard from my other close friends, 10 years younger than us. She is a fresh faced, 26 year old Computer Engineer, just like we were.
I studied Fashion design to erase my identity as an Engineer, my heart has always been designing, I was always drawing things, playing with dolls and making them paper dresses. But it was one of the reasons I switched careers.
And a wedding, for God's sake can't they even make it more obvious?, I will be there single, no date in my arm? They want me to feel sorry for myself?.
Na Ah! I don't think so, I will just delete this friend request and will not attend the wedding.
(Cursor Blinking)....I...
Delete
Delete
Delete
Wedding/ Nuptials of Eric, and Hailey, do you want to? " Join ", "Maybe", "No"
thinking...
contemplating...
weighing pro's...
weighing con's...
calculating possible gift costing...
thinking of what to wear...
Let's put that to a "Maybe" for now....